Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

[Washingupfury]

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

Ah, see that makes it gross. Apart from anything else are the dishes not really really soapy? If he was using the same water for the soaping up/scrubbing stage and then rinsed it afterwards it would be different.

I wouldn’t care about the water being cloudy as long as all food is washed off in ot water and then a good rinse under hot tap on way out of sink.

Don't you think putting the issue to an outside is a respectful way to decide who's right and who's wrong. OP isn't insisting that she's right!

You have a partner who does his share of the chores. Let him be.
I bet he hangs the washing out on the line differently. That's fine too.

You have to accept that he.does it differently and that's OK.

My own DH is obsessed with the kitchen floor. Hoovers andops it every day...sometimes twice. Drives me mad. It's a kitchen floor. Mops it before I cook then complains the floor is dirty ! Cant wait to mop until I've finished cooking !
You know what ? It makes no sense to me, but if it works for him, I ain't complaining. He does more than his share . Do I do things differently ? Hell yeah. Live and let live. There are dozens of posts on MN about useless unhelpful partners who do NOTHING. Let him do it his way, and you do it yours. It's really that simple. If you dont wanna see it or you are gonna criticize...go do something else. You got a keeper there.

I have a dishwasher but when I do it by hand I:
Scrape and /or rinse off residue
put dishes in warm soapy water
fill small sink with water and a dash of white vinegar
wash each item then dip in vinegary water in small sink
if I don’t use the small sink, I rinse under running water
finally, I clean the sink and draining board

Washing in dirty water is gross.

Quick rinse to remove the “milk” and other food that causes the water to turn murky 🤢 , fill sink with clean and soapy water to wash - the water NEVER clouds over
, rinse off the suds AND dirt

its amazing what you learn from a children’s book - the rinsing water washes away the dirt that has clung on to the soap

if you don’t rinse, the dirt and soap is still there

I’m like your husband, but that water is gross and definitely needs changing!

on a side note, why is warm washing up water fine, but when it goes cold it’s the most vile thing in the world to put your hands in? 🤢

How can he clean greasy dishes in cold water? My DH tries to do the same. If you aren't going to do it properly, don't bother.

Fair enough! If that's what you want.

This is why most men can’t be trusted with indoor domestic tasks. They should stick to getting rid of rubbish, taking the bins out, cleaning and maintaining cars, digging up soil, gardening, clearing out sheds and garages and gutter-clearing. Plenty there to keep them occupied.

If the water needs changing i change it pour any milk down the sink first and scrape the dishes in the bin i do not so dirty dishes first and then rest

I can’t vote as I’m somewhere between the two. I would never have a constantly running tap going though, for rinsing or washing. I once had a slightly dripping tap (for a long time, it was a rental property), and one day I measured how much water was coming out of it, and it was quite a lot - a litre in a short amount of time. I think a constantly running tap could waste many litres of water a day, many gallons a week, and probably a swimming pool full over a year! I seem to remember (quite a few years ago now) there was a big scandal about one of the major coffee shop / cafe chains, who were claiming lots of green credentials, and they all had permanent water taps on for washing dishes - I think they had to get these taps all removed (can’t remember all the details)..

@Ilovecleaning really! Do you live in the 1950s. Many people wash up in a similar way to the DH and haven’t died! Some people (and unfortunately many are women) need to unclench when it comes to their obsession with everything needing to be cleaned/bleached to the extreme eg people washing everything before it goes into the dishwasher

Oh, I missed out clearing and weeding paths and patios.

Oops, sorry. Wrong post. But I have known several people who have died from bacteria left on plates.

Wow. I’ve never known anyone who has.

Do you really?

@Ilovecleaning can you show me the statistics? And is it because the person didn’t rinse the plate or because of much wider cleanliness issues?

Sorry, Blossomtoes but neither have I. Some responses get sillier and sillier and wanted to make mine as silly as possible. 🌺

lol. See my reply to Blossomtoes 🤣

Sorry. I’m usually quite good at picking the humour up.

I’m sure you are but it didn’t help that I didn’t add emojis - but then that would have spoiled the humour. Someone asked me for statistics! I am laughing my head off at that one.
I need to go and wash up or do some man’s work like garage tidying 🤣

Don’t you have bins that need emptying?

Yes, that’s another job I could do. But I hate it! 🥰

… and lands in the loo face down…🤣👍