To think I can live with a name I hate because it means a lot to dh?

[lovingthespring]

We're expecting a boy, dh has lost his brother and his dad in recent years and wants to call our son his dads name and brothers name as first and middle, I get why this means so much to him but the names are old fashioned and I really don't know if I could learn to like them.
Do I just try and accept the names that I'll never like or just understand and respect why he wants to choose them.
I have suggested he use the names as double middle names but he doesn't want to.
There are so many gorgeous modern names that I want to choose but I also know this means a lot to do for his dad and brother.

Can you name them some thing close. Richter = Richard
Or are the names easy to turn into a nickname?
William = Billy
Or even the initials.
My son decided one year he wanted to be called CC.

I wanted to use my brothers name as a middle name if we had a son (he passed at aged 2) but actually decided against it as thought it would be very morbid to name after a dead person…. Plus someone else in the family used it and their baby also died tragically far too young.
Personally I think he’s being unreasonable to force names on you that you don’t like….. his dad and brother aren’t around so maybe there are living relatives you’d like to honour!?
We ended up having a girl and she has the same middle name as me, which is also my mothers first name.. my mum was thrilled I’d name my only child after her. But she has her own first name which hasn’t been used in the family ever.
Just tell him honestly that you don’t like the names enough to give them as first names, but two second names is nice…. I don’t think you should have to have names you don’t like!… he wouldn’t do the same for you I can guarantee it

To be honest I’m vehemently against babies having family given names. The surname is the family name and I think they should have their own name, first and middle. They are their own person.

That is a bit weird, names with a connection are often very valued and tie people into their heritage. My name is my great aunts, and I think that’s nice. My husbands middle name is his grandpas. But both parents would have been happy with the choice!

But they’re already tied into their heritage with their surname.

If you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters though.

Me too! I still cringe when I tell anyone my son's name & he's 17 now! Wish I'd stuck to my guns at the time.

I wanted to use my sister name (who died many years ago) as a middle name for our first dd. Party because it would have felt weird to use as a first name and it's a very typical 80's name so not really current.

Our second child dh wanted to honour his grandmother. She used a nickname always so think similar to Elizabeth/lizzie. We called our dd the full name as her first name (very popular name in top 5 at that time) but she ended up with a different nickname ie Liz. Although it was a nice link it never felt weird although calling her Lizzie would have.

I think middle names is a reasonable compromise. Would you expect your dh to accept a name he didn't like. ? Your child's name is a huge part of your life you both need to be comfortable with it.

I know someone who named their child after a (alive) grandfather who was called Brian, they went with Brian Junior or BJ 😬

Is your first name Beryl or Bertha or Brenda? Because that is presumably the type of name the OP is not wanting to use.
And would you be happy to have had those names as your first name?

Your other examples are middle names.

It’s not- I was responding ti someone saying they were vehemently against using family names for a first name. They didn’t specify ugly names or old fashioned names they were just against any family names. Which is an outlier opinion I’d say!

My husband has a traditional (old fashioned) family name. We gave our oldest the same name as a mark of respect, but we use his middle name. Caused a bit of confusion at school, and a lot at army college, but it was, and is all fine. The strangest thing was that his best friend at school had the same name - and used it. And believe me it’s a name you never hear in boys born in the 90’s. ( think effeminate dancer famous on tv, or lovely soul singer.

What happened in the end?