Boyfriend wants to start using condoms again

[Throwmealemon]

My boyfriend of 4 years and use the rhythm method for contraception and he pulls out (very controlled and never had an accident) We are in our late 30’s and don’t want children.

This has been going brilliantly until during our last intimate moment, he stopped mid session and said he feel uncomfortable with our contraception method and thinks we should use condoms going forward. His reasoning is incase I were to get pregnant and have to go through a termination and he doesn’t want that.

It came so out of the blue and left me quite confused to the sudden turn around. What are your thoughts?

Nah, he thinks OP is playing around and doesn't want to catch anything from her.

Some of the posts on this thread are vile. MN at its worst.

We've done this for 12 years and the only time I've got pregnant is with my one child, on purpose, after a year of trying. Withdrawal/tracking before and since. I suspect we are not very fertile!

The reasoning is fairly straightforward.
Shagging as usual, crossing your fingers and hoping for the best has an annual failure rate of 80%
Withdrawal method has an annual failure rate of about 20%-25% (hence a lot better than nothing but not great)
Rhythm method also has an annual typical use failure rate of about 25%

So the failure rate of both combined should, by very crude theoretical statistics, be 25%x25% = 6.25%

Condoms alone have a typical use failure rate of 18% (figures vary but this is the NHS one). Hence the OP's choice is safer.

But that ignores the fact that the failure rate of 2 methods combined won't be AxB in practice for various practical reasons.
And also that the OP and BF, as a sensible mature long term couple who've been successfully using withdrawal for 4 years, will probably have an actual failure probability much closer to the perfect use figure of 2% than the "typical use" 18% figure which includes drunk teenagers and people who aren't well motivated to be consistent in condom use.

https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/choosing-contraception/how-well-it-works-at-preventing-pregnancy/

Being sterilised isn't actually difficult anymore it's done via keyhole surgery and as long as no complications you are home the same day... I was sterilised 11 years ago and from getting to hospital to going home was 4 hours

i believe that sterilisation is not done as easily now as it used to be, and it is normally only offered to those already with children, over a certain age and with a medical reason for doing it.

i was sterlised about 15 years ago, my case was the very last case before it had to go to a panel.

i was allowed it, i had 2 very difficult pregnancies which were life threatening and i was advised to have no more children, my husband initally had the snip but our marrigate broke down so back in the dating pool contraception had to be considered. at that point i was allergic to latex, and i could not use any of the pills or coils due to allergies.... so i was sterilised...

i was very lucky.. the only way you would get it done nowadays without question on an unmarried childless person you would need a serious medical condition for it to be considered

The problem with women getting sterilised because pregnancy would be really dangerous is that standard sterilisation isn't as effective as vasectomy or the coil. It's good enough if you can use abortion as a backup, but if you weren't able to for some reason then it's a slightly risky option.

Sounds like he just wants to enjoy his orgasm and not have to interrupt it by pulling out everytime
Although sex forever with condoms is a sure way to the the relationship