Rude or polite

[Dullardmullard]

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

I didn't say she did, but it's still true that you can tell.

And my point that nobody owes random people on the street a response still stands. I'm not denying it was probably slightly rude, but I'm sure the poor man will get over it.

Well if you think the OP is lying why bother posting on her thread?

Well if you think the OP is lying why bother posting on her thread?

I have to say I agree with PP. perfect to reasonable to ask if anyone else feels the same, that's what threads are for. Frankly I'm surprised we're 500 posts in without a deletion message

(...Awaits deletion of this comment from MNHQ😩)

But I'm not calling op a liar but this doesn't sound like a normal conversation, some details are missing

Rude

@Livingtothefull

I think it is creepy to single out and go up to a woman in the street.

So now a man can't speak to a woman without prior permission otherwise he is an automatic creep.

There are many reasons why a few men are pests to women and not always because they want to get them into bed. I think it is because a certain type of man knows he is making the woman uneasy and gets off on that. Or they want something else (to sell something etc) and think the woman is an easier target.

Yet you don't know he was that type of man and OP hasn't once suggested that he was this type of man.

Assuming a man saying 'excuse me' at a bus stop in the middle of the day is somehow insidious is a very warped and paranoid view point. Many women talk about misogyny on here, frankly you are demonstrating clear misandry.

@Magnastorm

And my point that nobody owes random people on the street a response still stands.

True, it is however, common courtesy to hear someone out before shutting them down. Hopefully should you ever need any sort of help out in public the attitude of anyone present wouldn't be a plain 'NO!' before you uttered the next syllable.

@Grenwyn
@Livingtothefull

I think it is creepy to single out and go up to a woman in the street

So now a man can't speak to a woman without prior permission otherwise he is an automatic creep

Exactly, this threads so depressing 😁
They'd hate living round here lol.
Get anyone striking up a conversation with you.

Random man walking past you "morning"
Me - "morning!"
Can't imagine

"Morni...
"No!"

@GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight

😂

What's your solution when it comes to that tragic situation though?
It's not even comparable to just an excuse me or a hello.
Should men and women just not speak to each other or interact "just in case?"
As that's not a world I'm about to start living in.

@Konfetka That is a ridiculous comparison to make. An actual Police Officer abusing his power and lockdown restrictions to kidnap, cuff, rape and murder an unsuspecting woman can't be likened to an 'excuse me' at a bus stop during the day.

Exactly, articulated better than me

I'd love to know where some of you live that a slightly chippy No counts as the height of ill manners.

I live in Croydon, random bus stop "excuse me but" are nearly always a preamble to something shit, cutting people off is just efficient use of yours and their time.

I reckon OP was better placed than anyone else here to interpret his motives

I'd love to know where some of you live that a slightly chippy No

Where did the OP convey tone?

Cutting someone off is slightly chippy whatever way you slice it.

But it's still a very reasonable response in my part of the world

Well not in mine or anywhere I have lived

And, like I said, it's pretty easy to tell when someone needs help when you can actually see them in front of you, so fairly obviously the reaction would be different.

It's almost always without basis and it's also really tedious, but it doesn't anger me. Mostly because it shows up the holes in an argument that they either can't formulate or don't have, so they resort to that because it's the only thing they have left in their arsenal to try and make a point. Godwin's law, but for radical feminists. It does serve a purpose though in that you know there's absolutely no point trying to debate further with that poster because they simply don't have a valid point.

Basically it's the grown-up equivalent of a five year old trying to end an argument with "yeah, well, you're a poo poo head!"

I'm equally tired of 'NAMALT' protestations. Or admonitions that OPs should really consider the feelings of men. It happens on every single thread where the OP has complained of violation at the hands of a man. NB. this is not a suggestion that this OP's situation in any way resembles a violation. But if we are discussing sex-based bias, it's fair to bring it up.

This is now a feature of this site. And it's more than just tedious. It's an insidious, slow creep of an attitude that could be actively dangerous to women.

Perhaps those posters are simply recognising that pattern for what it is.

I think a lot of that is a direct result of the "all men are evil" rhetoric though, also insidiously creeping in. People feel the need to defend against that, and to show they don't think that, and rightly so. If the overly-vocal few weren't quite so vehement about that - and it's total nonsense but they keep spouting it - I doubt you'd get quite as many people declaring NAMALT, either.

I have stated in another post body language and my no, but hey Ho

he was there again this morning sneering this time so I got my phone out and phoned a friend till the bus came. Sat right at the front too it’s not an early bus before I’m told no one will hit on you first thing which is complete rubbish. Men don’t care.

As for the you could have said you’re not interested comment didn’t happen oh it did.

I’ll be going to another bus stop tomorrow as this has put me right off and I’m not a young lass either which might surprise a lot of you

This

@SerafinasGoose

I'm equally tired of 'NAMALT' protestations. Or admonitions that OPs should really consider the feelings of men.

I think people should be considerate of people - men and women. The World would be a better place.

You see a particular brand of knee jerk reaction on here towards men - see it all the time on MN and it's on this thread. It's not particularly healthy. I will stand up against negative sexist comments towards women too (which you also see on MN).

I have no idea what NAMALT means