Clare's Law - police visit, normal?

[MyPerfectHotel]

I have had some issues with a relatively new partner (8 months) which have raised some concerns.

On the back of this I have made a Clare's Law application.

Within 24 hours the police attended my property unannounced for a safeguarding check. I have since received a telephone call and been given some information which has sealed the deal for me.

However they now want me to come into the station next week to discuss their findings. What will this involve? I am feeling nervous about finding out even more information or will they just go over the ins and outs of what happened with the 2 incidents they have reported to me?

Thank you in advance.

• [Typo in title edited at OP's request]

Sorry I thought it had added the link and it didn’t, I posted separately afterwards so I’m not sure if you’ve seen it but but it’s the Hollie Guard app.

😴 yup sorry.

I hope it’s not my EX 😢

they will share necessary information so you can make an informed decision and you will have to sign a non disclosure.

stay safe protect yourself

What a great response from the police. Impressive to Claire’s family for getting the law passed. I wonder how many women her life has saved? Is really humbling.

I’d be concerned too OP, but they clearly have your back here. Confident friends or family if you can before your visit, and take all the support you need.

I’m so glad you followed your gut, you have kept you and your daughter safe x

Hi
Child safeguarding agency I. E. Police, social services policies will prioritise the the safety of any children .There should be support and possibly an inderdict to stop the contact attempts.
I don't think anyone will be heavy handed on you. Work with them and keep yourselves safe

My friend recently did this with the father of her child. She broke up with him before their child was born due to his behaviour.

Police came over and did a meeting, social services came to assess as she has a child with him, although she has never been allowed unattended with him so everything was perfect from their perspective.

She then had a meeting at the station but they did offer it to be done at home. It was rather like an interview in case she wanted to disclose anything. Then she was given in writing the details of an order he had in place and details of why he had flagged up.

They now do checks on her that seem to be every 6 months but again assuming as that is due to them sharing a child.

@Bunnyasmyname it's dependant on area and resources as are many things. Some areas will follow up that quickly especially those with initiatives focused on addressing violence against women .. others less so sadly. Re history marker - apologies I thought the op had reported the harassment and pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour! :)

Wow really? I've wanted to do one on my ex as I found out some information about him but no way if they check on you every 6 months..

Log all the times you are contacted by him and his family ( and screenshot messages etc,) as you may need to apply for a Restraining Order and this can be used as evidence to support your application.

I’m a safeguarding lead within my school. If you have information that shows you or your children are at risk….and you continue the relationship then there is a high risk social services will get involved. This is because living in an abusive home, whether children witness the abuse or not, has long lasting negative impacts for the children.
go to the police station, speak to them and ask their advice on how to move on.

Good for you for using the law!!

There are signs that indicate level of potential risk. Threat of suicide is serious. The previous incident could have been DV. Some are well behaved for a LONG time.

No shit

@MyPerfectHotel my daughter was phoned and visited at home. I think the latter was because she was quite upset on the phone.
You have no reason to be nervous about the interview at the station. It could be to update their records by your experience. Please try not to worry. Well done for requesting Claire's law.

Why have you posted this? You can’t have read the OP first post 🙄🤷‍♀️

OP has left him? And contacted the police though?

Is there a normal man out there, I wonder?

@peakygold If you work in any profession where you come into contact with women and children who have suffered abuse from me then you do get the feeling that there are few that can be trusted and if you haven’t personally previously suffer abuse you start to wonder “what is normal”. I feel that with age and experience that I’m a good judge of character but have been saddened when I’ve discovered a well trusted friend of many years, a pillar of the community, is a sex offender. All you can do is keep your wits about you and use such aids as Clare’s Law, as the OP here has done.

I have one. There must be others!

I do hope you and your daughter are safe @MyPerfectHotel.

Hi @MyPerfectHotel - I have been thinking of you over the weekend. I imagine today’s going to be very tough. I thought maybe if you can imagine you have us all by your side - or an army of mumsnetters at your beck and call, maybe it would give you some support to get through it. Big hugs.

How did the meeting go today?

Hi

Thank you for checking in on me, it's very kind.

I had the interview, my friend wasn't allowed in with me so I was alone.

There is a little more to add, the ex made contact with me on Saturday, I bumped into him in a local shop, he lives close to me unfortunately. He began pleading with me to give things another chance and in a fit of exasperation I told him I had made the CL application. He confirmed both incidents but gave a very different story behind each one.

I told him I didn't want to know and if he contacts me or speaks to me again, I will be calling the police.

One of the incidents was an armed robbery 10 years ago, involving a knife.

He said he was only there to protect the victim of the crime.

Police confirmed he was there, and that he was restraining the victim.

There is more but I am not allowed to talk about any of it as all charges were dropped. I also worry about revealing recognisable information.

Anyway, safe to say I made the right decision. It still hurts though.

Thinking of you. Hug

Im glad you attended and have more clarity. It's great you listened to your instincts and followed through with seeking all the facts and ending things.

Sending you a hug OP. You've done the right thing.