Clare's Law - police visit, normal?

[MyPerfectHotel]

I have had some issues with a relatively new partner (8 months) which have raised some concerns.

On the back of this I have made a Clare's Law application.

Within 24 hours the police attended my property unannounced for a safeguarding check. I have since received a telephone call and been given some information which has sealed the deal for me.

However they now want me to come into the station next week to discuss their findings. What will this involve? I am feeling nervous about finding out even more information or will they just go over the ins and outs of what happened with the 2 incidents they have reported to me?

Thank you in advance.

• [Typo in title edited at OP's request]

@EnglishBluebell Yes! What hotel are you on? It drives me crazy but really helps when I am on edge!

@Bellarose53 My best friend is coming with me x

Well done for listening to your gut, OP. I'm glad the police have been useful, and that Claire's law has worked for you.

Keep doing what you're doing. I'd block his sister and mother too. Whole family sounds deranged.

Sorry it didn’t add the link when I posted and I couldn’t edit, it’s the Hollie guard app.

I posted separately but in case you didn’t see then here it is. I think it could be useful for women and if you have teenage daughters.

You say you have good neighbours, do tell them that if they see him/his car outside for them to call the police.

You listened to what your gut was telling you and dumped him. That's a great first step for you and your daughter. THe Clare's Law check will solidify your gut feelings, obviously, as the police made a safeguarding check. Please follow their advice about staying safe while you try to make him stay away.

It means that he has a history which is possibly concerning.....
You will only get a disclosure if you are still in relationship with him.
If he is a VISOR perp it means he has a history of serious violence or sexual history

Thank you

Tell your neighbours so they can keep an eye out for this nutter.

Well done OP, I'm glad you trusted your gut and will have your friend with you at the police station.

I am really impressed. It’s good to see this is working

It's not unusual to have a visit or be asked to go into the station. Its good practice to do this face to face. There will be certain pieces of information that are disclosable to you and they will go through this with you when you visit. Information you have given may also be considered and will help inform risks around this person for other women. They will also likely give you details of support services and depending on the level of concern they may also provide safety equipment. You can ask for a history marker to be placed on your address so if you ever had reason to call police it is flagged up. Well done for being so aware of the red flags OP. It can be really hard for people to see those sort of indicators and even harder to act on them when the perpetrator makes threats around their mental health.

Im so glad you listened to your gut, called it off and got the info from the police.

Well done you- you have done everything right.

Re the police. You actually don’t need to say anything to them. I’d go and see what THEY have to say. Then choose to respond or not depending on how you feel.

What is the app called please?

This is such a good point, an ex of mine became a full on stalker it's in the process of going through the courts now... my teenage son has only recently told us that the ex had messaged my son through social media and he has only just opened up about it as he didnt want to upset me 😭 he also said he saw him at his secondary school bus stop, we thought coincidentally at the time ,the police now think he was stalking him too as I had moved house to find out where I lived. He ended up trying to break into my property at one point police riot Van's escorted him off. I wish I had done a Claire law when I met him as the red flags you say OP are exactly the same as what I had... especially the crazy accusations about why I called it off, he even msg every man on my fb friends warning them to stay away... I was absolutely mortified

which kind of professionals are going to be at the meeting? Do you know?

I think he has serious stalking issues at best and they want you to install a ring doorbell so that they can take immediate action, such as issuing a restraining order. So I wouldn't block or delete anything if it can be avoided until your meeting. Have you googled him for prosecutions.

Google "[John Smith]", [X court], [convicted]

And see what comes up.

Sorry to hear about your partner OP. It's good that Claire's Law exists. Many men 'fly under the radar' and it's wise advice for all women to trust their judgement when it comes to partners.

the fact the police responded within 24 shows this is high risk, as applications can take as standard up to 28 days unless it’s in need of an urgent disclosure, well done for listening to your gut and making an application.
the red flags that you said also sound like early stages of control, it doesn’t have to be violent and typically violence happens later.
all the best op x

Hoping your coping OK with this op

It IS unusual, Loley.
and to be visited within 24 hrs is extremely unusual.

Didnt think a history marker could be added when no crime/Police call has been previously logged. Happy to be corrected :)

"I have had some issues with a relatively new partner (8 months) which have raised some concerns."

Literally the first line of the OP, Pinkypup. Nul points!

@MyPerfectHotel The last one, the Love Hotel. I'm gutted it ends there! I was so addicted. Though the constant cash collecting was driving me potty!

@Minimili @PumpkinsAndCoconuts Be careful with your phone if you have the hollie guard app, I set it up and then dropped my phone the day after and without telling me, sent emergency alerts to all my emergency contacts

First of omg you’re so fucking brave. It legitimately took me about four or five attempts get to the submit button and imagine this is the same for most people who do it, especially against someone you care(d) so much about. It feels like a betrayal almost.

I don’t think a police visit had relevance but maybe it’s dependent on your constabulary and the resources they allocate. Mine came back as nothing reportable but an officer was sent round within the hour to talk to me about what happened. Maybe it’s because a child is involved too or did you mention any abuse.

How are so many women still at the hands of these psychopaths, and how are they allowed to get away for the most part unaccountable.

Good luck for Monday💕 Lots of love

Well done Op. you have done the right thing. Do not feel any guilt in regards to yourself or your daughter as you went to know.