AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

Actually yes there is - please don’t assume that other uk countries are the same as England

Fair point.

i was a little pissed because they chose to spend their money on location and instagram optics instead of making sure their guests had a good time first while askkng the guests to contribute to the ost by gifting money.

Wow. Go you. People don't like you putting them right or standing up for facts.

Okay. Thank you for giving your opinion.

To be clear, i wasn’t harsh in words - i was very apologetic and only a little bit smug when he realized i was offering to pay him out of money intended to go to him anyways.
Him asking me to replace a cheap accidentally broken plate, when i intended to be generous in gifting money as he‘d been so stressed about the costs was what broke the last straw for me and seeing that they spent a lot of money on „pretty“ things instead of the badic needs of their guests after whining so much about the costs.

At most the plate would cost a fiver, more likely to be £2.
Please don’t give them the second £100. Give them a five pound note , or better 5x£1 coins for the plate. To speak to you like that in front if other guests was so crass. I give it a year.

PMSL. 😆

Sounds like it's going to be a marriage made in Heaven @Toffifee1 😆

OP - You are my hero!

The groom is a tight wanker and you are a legend!

I would have told him to sod off. And I wouldn't be handing over 200 quid as a wedding present. 50 quid is my limit for a wedding prezzie

£200 is a lot of money when they don't even serve enough food tbh.

It was for 2 adults and 2 small DC, who don’t eat much.
At my wedding we‘d have paid for the older DCs meal. 200 for 2-4 people.

Incredibly rude.

At our wedding we treated all of our guests like royalty. The people you invite to your wedding are generally your nearest and dearest, the most important people in your life.

It always shocks me when people take this for granted and I can't understand when people don't treat their guests with respect. We were just so happy to have so many people who cared enough to come along to our wedding.

It wouldn't have even occurred to me to say anything if a child broke a plate, let alone worry about the cost when we'd already paid for the wedding, it's going to be a drop in the ocean.

Ha! I think your response was totally fair.

I know that I sometimes give money as a gift and adjust the amount according to closeness to bride/groom and all day vs evening guest but I'm a bit surprised that you actually calculated how much each of your meals was worth. If the 'happy' couple organised caterers, crockery hire etc themselves do you think they were taken by surprise by mounting costs? Also, possibly underestimated how much food was needed as they're not professionals. Well done though on your offer to pay (if they chase it up pay in pennies).

That's all they'd have got from me, the rest of that envelope would have stayed firmly in my bag, CF's.

£200 as a wedding gift? Miss Rabbit has fainted

They're ten a penny in Scotland 😄

Wholesale dinner plates are under £2 each to buy...

Well done for showing him up - I'd be furious too, especially if they'd skimped on food for guests.

Heroic behaviour from you, OP. Well done.

Anybody who thinks you were being rude or embarrassed yourself is a fool, in my opinion.

Asking you to replace a cheap, rented plate in front of a room full of guests is the only rude part of this story

Massively rude of him.
Accidents happen. I wouldn’t dream of asking for a guest to pay for an accidental broken plate/cup in my own home. Let alone at a venue where they will factor in breakages into the hire cost.

Last time I looked Scotland is still in the UK

Haha think you're a legend!