AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

At least 30 years ago.

I got introduced to someone as English once. When I said I want, he said it was the same thing.

Funnily enough, he didn't think it was the same thing when I then called him Welsh...

Good on you OP!

Venues don’t ask for crockery to be replaced! It’s bulk bought catering stuff. Unless they went all out and had fancy China and place settings… but it doesn’t sound like they did. So, it’s plain bulk bought crockery.

What did the groom say? And did you get the change?

Honestly, if they didn’t even provide enough food for the guests because they wanted the fancy location then they sound like pretty shitty, superficial people.

NI have them too, but sure if @Flickersy has never seen one then they can't possibly exist 🙄

I take it back then! You learn something new everyday. I've never been lucky enough to see one mind...

Surely the venue or the catering company already factor this possibility into their contract arrangements. Probably cost next to nothing as well.

His behaviour sounds fairly rude, but I wouldn’t have potentially added fuel to the fire by handing him part of his present. Some weddings are just so full of drama and it’s best just to cut your losses - particularly if you don’t want this to be the ‘thing’ that people remember about the event and insist on bringing up years and years further on down the line.

I think I would have said: “Of course, let me know later on what will cover it.” And then deliberately never have raised it again myself. Maybe he was stressed/tipsy and might only see how utter bobbins he was being afterwards.

👏🏻

Give over, it's clear several posters on the thread had no idea these existed.

Fuck this. The amount people spend to attend weddings? Incredibly poor form to be then asking them to pay for a broken plate. Groom deserves all he gets.

They used to be red but now I think they're green. (The notes, not the B&G, but you never know).

Also I think Scottish £1 notes are still legal tender up here but I haven't seen one in the wild for years.

I have just conceded my error.

I do realise that there are other home nations, and that Scotland and NI have different notes - but I wasn't aware of the existence of £100 notes.

Considering how few places in England will accept £50 notes, because of counterfeiting concerns, I wonder if shops north of the border are hesitant to take them?

Yep, £100 notes don't exist in England. Even in Scotland and NI it would mean a special trip to a bank.

https://www.bankofengland.co.uk/banknotes/current-banknotes

I think it was very bad manners of the host to make a fuss about a broken plate. He should have taken the "no harm done" attitude - made sure the meal was replaced if applicable and picked up any cost discreetly himself. That's hosting. It's not like your child broke a window throwing stones. He comes across very ungracious. Keep the change if you are given it - I doubt you will be.

Absolutely this. Well done!

Why would he be paying for breakages on plates or glasses at a wedding venue? It's almost guaranteed that one of two of these items get broken at every event, which is why you use cheap, bulk purchased stuff. The groom is talking shite and I'm glad you embarrassed him. I'd have said I would ask the staff instead of giving him the cash (to which I'm sure they would have said it was no problem) and then reduced the present fund back into my own pocket.

No, several posters in this thread (and many others!) assume that what happens in England is what happens everywhere else.
And state as a matter of fact, as you did, that this can't possibly be true because it's not the case in England.

👏👏👏👏 bravo

Please bring this up on all future batshit wedding threads and bathe in your glory

Did the venue ask the B&G to pay, that seems unlikely?

Did you get your change? You should follow that up!

Scottish notes

YANBU. What a tosspot

It is poor form, but I wouldn’t want to exacerbate things personally.

I also want to know if you got your change!

So are they commonplace in Scotland, then? Are shops happy to accept them?

Because I'll bet a lot of people down here wouldn't even know of the existence of £50 notes, so infrequently are they used.

Of course they exist, but they aren't really used as everyday currency. Yes, one is obviously worth £50, but you would often hesitate when trying to spend one, in the way that you wouldn't think for a second about two twenties and a tenner.

If you ever need any new friends, I’m available 😂😂.
YWNBU at all.

I've seen quite a few over the years in different jobs. Quite a few places are happy to accept them.

Because they are rarer, they are less likely to be faked than £10 or £20 notes.