AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

I feel like the groom might be your brother? In any case he was trying to show you up and being an arse to say what he did in front of other guests, therefore your response was supremely appropriate and an excellent power move. Kudos!

He didn't have the cojones to rein in his darling bride during the planning stage so took his financial stress out on you instead.

Hospitality venues don't charge individually for breakages, although some might request a deposit that is not returned in the event of a lot of reckless damage. Which hardly applied to your one accidentally broken plate!

We have them in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

That's brilliant (your response, not what he did)!! I doubt the venue would have even noticed one missing plate! And they'd almost certainly factor in breakages for any event.

I don't know, you'll have to ask someone in Scotland.

What I can tell you is that €500 notes do exist (no longer being printed though), and I used them (& €200 notes) when I bought a car a few years ago. Obviously not readily available, but legal tender. Also I doubt my local Spar would accept them, but car showroom did.

Thanks - you learn something new everyday!

Although I always understood that the concern with fake £50 notes was twofold: obviously the higher (perceived) value; but also the fact that they are rarer, hence fewer people would be as confident about what a genuine one looks like?

You'd have a grand royal version of the old "You'll find that's legal tender, pal!" if you tried to spend one in England, though - considering how many people (especially down south) are highly suspicious of Scottish notes that are of a denomination that we have as well.

Did you have to go into a bank specially to get the notes? As others have pointed out, one rarely sees them in everyday circulation. That was thoughtful of you for their special occasion

The groom has learned a solid lesson that your generosity is not to be taken for granted.

What odd behaviour by the Groom. Was he planning to give the money to the venue for the broken plate? Crockery must get accidentally broken all the time and guests are not told to pay for it.
I don't blame you for using the wedding gift money. He behaved very badly.

That is awesome!! Not at all unreasonable. Well done you I applaud 👏

Great response.

I suspect if it is a venue with outside caterers they may hold a deposit to cover breakages and deduct for such breakages. However I think usually a one off breakage is "forgiven" and its more for events that may get rowdy. If the groom was penny pinching about the whole event then he just acted like a dick to ask.

Absolute class response.

JamesPringle
I think you're a fucking hero for doing that. I wouldn't have had the balls.
This! They should name one of the fancy rooms in that castle in your honour op!!!!

I hope you asked him for an official receipt detailing the charge made for the one broken plate!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I will put it out there that I do think it’s very unusual for a child to manage to smash a plate, especially at such a posh venue where I’d have been watching them like a hawk. Glasses get knocked over every 2 minutes by children, or even adults, but I’ve never seen plates getting smashed in a restaurant or wherever. Was your child being a bit of a pain in the bum, and the groom had perhaps lost his temper to act so unreasonably?

OP you are a fucking legend... Love your response. Maybe that will have stopped him embarrassing himself further that day but who knows.

Seconded

Is there a £100 note in the UK? I thought that £50 was the largest, from the way it was written I think it might have been 100 Euros.

My dad always gives us £100 notes in our Christmas gifts and if we overlook my ungratefulness it's a right pain. Shops don't accept them so you need to go to the bank to deposit it and lift it in £20s. Which is all fine but he also needs to go to the bank to lift the £100 notes! A circle of madness.

Edit: We are in Scotland, who do indeed have £100 notes.

Love it!

Another one who thinks all of the Uk is just England.

How old was the child, and what on earth were they doing that they managed to destroy some tableware? Was the groom maybe embarrassed by the behaviour so decided to embarrass you in return?

Oh come on. The thread's not even three pages long.

@JudgeJ you missed the wee pile on upthread where posters pointed out they have £100 notes in Scotland.

Are you sure he wasn't joking when he asked you to pay for it?

@Fiddlerdragon and @Rocknrolla21 sorry but I am wondering whether you have actually met any children? They really don't have to be behaving wildly out of order to manage to smash breakable objects.

Yanbu. Good! He deserved to be humiliated and I hope it’s niggling at him now.

Yes. Castles and £100 notes exist in Scotland.