AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

Same.

How embarrassing for the groom to have displayed his lack of sophistication and class so blatantly. Catering businesses factor in the cost of breakages and buy plates by the hundred. Look at these, £2 each:
https://www.nisbets.co.uk/athena-hotelware-wide-rimmed-plates-254mm/cc209

I'd have been mortified if anyone I knew behaved as he did. Was the bride aware? I wonder how he'll treat her or their children if they ever break anything. It sounds as if he's been brought up in a very punitive, not to say bad-mannered, home.

Was that recently, though? I'm guessing maybe not if you were paid in cash - although this isn't unknown nowadays.

Good on you, OP. Weddings cost a fortune to attend and a few breakages are to be expected. He shouldn't have embarrassed you in front of other guests.

COL venues now charge for breakages. He was a bit out of order to say it in front of everyone.

Are there? I've never seen nor heard of them, and the link from the BoE that somebody posted upthread didn't mention their existence.

Surely places that have 'we don't accept £50 notes' signs up would say '£50 AND £100 notes'?

Well it must've been a total romance infused fairytale for the groom if he could tear himself away from his bride to scold people on children's plate breakages. 😂

Yes, we've already covered this in the thread - many times.

Tbh, I think you both acted unnecessarily rudely given the occasion. He shouldn’t have mentioned it then, and you shouldn’t have replied like that then.

You're a hero OP.

I have to ask, did you get the change?

Ah I was going to say make sure you get your change!

Bravo OP! What an ass the groom. You however, I love the badass style.

I can well see how a plate could be broken. It doesn't have to be via a mighty karate chop; an accidental shove or drop and gravity will take care of that. An adult could also have nudged it with a bag or elbow and done the same.

In fact, it's ensconced in British tradition (well, English, anyway - I can't presume to speak for the other home nations!) that plates frequently get dropped in cafes to a resounding hearty loud cheer from everybody present!

Even if they both could give Tam Mullen a run for his money in real life, surely he realises that all of the extravagant outlay and display of bounteous largesse to impress people has now been completely undone for the sake of a plate costing a quid or two? Unless he was letting his anger for the bride's insistence on shelling out so much shine out through this?

I presume he never gets invited to Greek weddings?

I fucking love this!

This

And I bet his face was a picture well done OP

He was the one who started it, and demanded that OP react to his highly unexpected demand.

He could very easily have raised it afterwards, if it meant so very much to him, but he chose to make it into an embarrassing scene then and there.

If he had waited until a more appropriate time afterwards, he might have noticed the generous wedding gift and then thought better of it; but he clearly craved the embarrassment - granted probably of OP and not expecting it to rebound so badly on him.

@SeanBeansMealDeal

I presume he never gets invited to Greek weddings?!

LOL! 😆

I thought you did great.

I would give him a bit of leeway. Just as it is possible for one side of a wedding to lose the plot and go completely extravagent, it is also possible for another to go overboard on tightness and lose the bigger picture.

Still it doesn't sound like they are a very well matched pair if she wanted to go extravagent and he wanted to go low cost. It sounds like they have very different ideas about money. And that is not going to end well.

I am surprised they made it that far tbh.

You did the right thing. He handled it horribly to start with.

And being more concerned about pics than having your guests have a good time is shit. Don't fucking invite people if you can't afford to feed them properly. Or don't attempt to and do it poorly, it's fucking rude when people have travelled and likely spent £££ of their own to attend.

Well done you for cancelling the cheque!!!

It was rude of them to ask you to pay I think. But doing what you did in front of everyone was mean too. Six of one. Probably end of friendship.

Other Peoples Kids can often be a handful with the best of intentions particularly when at a wedding - long day, bored in ceremony, fucking hours of photos and accidents do happen. He's the adult, people pay A LOT to attend a wedding (in some cases probably not far off per head what it's cost to host them) he should act like one. Unless this is a drop feed, it was ONE PLATE.

Well I think this is legendary 😆

What was his response OP? Would love to have seen his face!

Sadly op,you know you’ve messed up when this forum applauds, it only does this the more obnoxious and rude you are. Telling people to fuck off. Calling them names. The worse it is, the more applause there is.

back in the real world though, you were incredibly rude and handled it with a complete lack of grace. It isn’t a race to the bottom. Yes he behaved poorly by asking you to replace it. But sometimes it is better to go high, than try to go lower.