AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

But anyway I’d tell them to F off!!! I’d be asking them to pay me for being there and giving them entertainment hahaha

I LOVE this!! Great move by you

I think you’re a hero! If he didn’t want guests to have a good time he shouldn’t have invited them. I don’t know if I do feel sorry for him, it will be a difficult marriage but also he is a stingy jerk. Most people would be very unhappy married to either of them.

🤣🤣 fucking calm down

You’d never be asked to pay for something you accidentally broke in a restaurant or cafe, not sure why this would be any different and even if it was, how crass to ask a guest to pay. What was he doing, following everyone around to check they hadn’t broken a glass etc?

My only comment is - why are you giving them a £200 gift???

It’s still a ridiculous amount.

I think it's horrible to ask you for the money in front of everyone else. This is where it is was horrible.

You gave so much money as a gift, and I think he should have checked first if it did needed paying before asking you for it.

Congrats to you for taking out the money from the gift!

Really??? You can't see 100£ and read it as one hundred pounds??? Besides the fact its been discussed 100.00 times on this thread already 🙄🙄

write it properly and it's easily understood. Simple. Not difficult. 🙄

Well hundreds of of worked it out @Ownedbykitties without the need to ask what 100£ could possibly mean, so maybe we should be applying for Mensa 🙄

And surely you had read at least some of he thread as at least once per page another bright spark like yourself had asked the same fascinating question

Well I never knew that £100 notes existed until this thread. Every day's a schoolday! I feel a bit ignorant and a bit daft! Just goes to show how England-centric the UK is. Not a CLUE that £100 notes existed! Many apologies to everyone across the border/in Scotland.

I don't think I'd like to keep them in my purse though, too easy to lose.

Also, I would imagine most people not having them/using them/coming across them in their everyday life. We don't have £100 notes in England, but we do have £50 notes (as everyone knows,) and I rarely see one of them even. They are not accepted in many shops, and restaurants and pubs etc as they're easy to forge.

If I was giving a wedding gift to friends, it would very likely not be more than £50-60. Unless they were very close. If I did give £200 it wouldn't be in £100 notes. (If we had them in England.) That's a lot to lose if you drop one/lose one banknote.

I've often carried the card around with cash gift in it until I meet the responsible person to give it to. 200 wouldn't be considered a large amount for a gift for a family member.

200 would be normal amount per couple at a wedding, and if you brought children, then maybe even more.

I would love to see a thread on here with a list, how much would you give for:

wedding
sibling wedding
wedding abroad
niece holy communion
Next door neighbour 50th
21st birthday
etc.

and everyone fills in what they would give.

(No £100 notes allowed as that is too confusing 😁)

I never knew England doesn’t have £100 notes and I live there. I’ve had £100 notes before but I am Scottish so must have been from bank there.

anyway. Well done 👏🏻 You are a hero. Great response.

Not in my world it's not.

Ok of course, I know that everyone is different. But that would just cover the meals etc. for the guest here in Ireland so it’s about the normal amount here. €150 to €200 per couple but that is euros now.
Everything is so expensive here it’s like Monopoly money at a wedding.

Why should guests have to cover the cost of their meals? The clue’s in the name otherwise you might as well just call them customers.

Seriously? You think that the entire UK is England centric? You’ve just illustrated your point I suppose.
England is “England-centric.” It’s the people in England who apply English points of view to the rest of the UK. The rest of us do not. The rest of the UK is not England-centric because we are all aware that different home nations do things differently and have different things.

I think what you meant to say was “Just goes to show how the English are very England-centric and apply their views to the rest of the UK.”

Yes that's what I should have said. Apologies. That bit was badly worded by me.

However, I think some of the Welsh, and Northern Irish, and Scottish can be guilty of the same sometimes. Living in a little cocoon and assuming things are the same in the rest of the UK, (as it is in their part of it.) It's not just the English.

Not EVERYONE in N.I, Wales, and Scotland are like this, but some are. Like it's not everyone in England, but some are.

Surprise surprise! We all live in different worlds.

🙄🙄

My tuppence worth... In euros 💶 (of which you can get €100, €200, and even €500 notes)

Wedding €200
Sibling wedding €500
Wedding abroad €200
Niece/ nephew holy communion €50 (€100 if a godchild)
Next door neighbour 50th €50
21st birthday €50 (if not related, €100 if related)
DC friend's birthday €20
Parents birthday €100

Maybe because €50 notes are very standard, we value them less and hence giving €50 as a present isn't a big thing, to me anyway 🤔

I know it's ridiculous a man has that nature . Feel sorry for his wife

Maybe a very few are, but for the nations that aren’t England, it is very very hard for us to live in a little cocoon and think everything is the way we do it, given that when you watch the news or politics, it covers everything happening in England and nationwide politics and stories etc. Then we follow it up with the local/Scottish/Welsh/N. Irish news. We maybe know a little less about what is happening in one of the other home nations but we all certainly know what’s going on in England plus our own country. People in England don’t.

We certainly do
I would never expect to receive that amount of money from a couple at a wedding.

Same with all that except parents birthday, I have never given them money but am feeling a bit guilty now. Great post!