AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

YANBU but I’d never give someone £200 as a wedding present in the first place!

I think you're a fucking legend!! Good for you!

I love it when someone comes on a thread trying to make someone looks stupid by picking out a small part of the post and in turn makes themselves look stupid and uneducated.

He had a nerve asking but MY GOD so did you. Amazed people didn’t think you unreasonable for this - you were so rude!!!

£100 notes are not unusual gifts.

Well done OP! You absolutely done the right thing x

I would have then rearranged the broken pieces and said “there you go plate re-placed 😂

I'm not in that business, but clearly they budget for a level of breakage, factored into their price.

So I would have told the groom this, and to f**k off.
Your response was clearly more elegant, effective and humiliating for him, well done!

I would take away the other 100. They don’t deserve it ! Who asks anyone to pay for a plate ? No venue asks for breakables unless it’s a lot of damage not for 2 or 3 things .

Can you elaborate please?

I was asked to pay an unknown amount (groom didn’t know at the time but there was actually no charge for him) for the broken plate and given that i only had a tiny purse with an envelope and no other money in it and was kind of put on the spot( i just wanted to disappear into the ground at that point) and although people here seem to think it was „quick thinking“, it was literally my only option that came to my mind in that moment to use the money out of the envelope that i still owned as i hadn‘t gifted it yet.
I then said he could give me the change later because i was a bit angry and decided that my planned on gift was more generous than necessary given the way my DC and i were treated, but i said it in a casual, rather shy and quiet way.

It was for DH, DCs(toddler and baby) and I. Weddings are expensive.

you lost me way before stereotyping the Travelling community but how else would you give gift money other than in an envelope that you keep in a hand bag/purse until there‘s an appropriate time to hand it over? They had a table for gifts with a money box with a slot as they‘d asked for cash towards the honeymoon(they aren‘t going on a proper honeymoon though) instead of gifts. I only discovered that later on.

Haha you styled it out I love it! Don't backtrack, the fact he called you to explain shows he knows he was out of line. He was taking his stress out on your child and you...not cool.

@OldPerson loads of cultures give cash in this way at weddings.

what an ignorant, racist comment

I voted you are being unreasonable because I have no idea what 100£ is? Is it £100.00? Is it £10.00? Or something else? If you were giving a gift of £200.00 for their wedding and you gave him £100.00 to pay to replace a cheap plate, that seems unreasonable. If your gift was £20.00 and you thought that that was enough to cover your food that is unreasonable too. 🤷‍♀️

Really??? You can't see 100£ and read it as one hundred pounds??? Besides the fact its been discussed 100.00 times on this thread already 🙄🙄

The groom's mistake was to challenge you in front of his guests. That should never happen. It is a very unsociable thing to do and he obviously had no knowledge of etiquette.

He should have approached you later, when the two of you could not be overheard. A groom with that attitude is unlikely to improve after the honeymoon. I fear that is about as good as it gets for his bride.

Brilliant response! You are an absolute legend! 😁

Chapeau, OP!! 👏 👏👏

NTA at all. I'm willing to bet that the caterers or venue factored in a certain amount of money for accidental breakage. I don't know of any that do not. The cost of the plate would have been included in that.

There's no such thing as £100 note! So I'm confused at what you're talking about, plus a simple, plain white plate isn't going to cost anywhere near that anyway!

Bullshit, the thread actually states that there is a £100 note in Scotland and Northern Ireland! My late dad used to give me one for my birthday every year!

100£ note? They don’t exist

They fucking do!

Clearly couldn't be bothered to read all the OP's posts before you wrote yours, nevermind TFT...