friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

Sorry but some parents do, wouldn't be selfish unless your partner was a useless father.

I wouldn't personally but only because I am the main carer so would be worried the whole time but I wouldn't think it was weird especially as she has no children so she doesn't get it. I'd simply say no thanks I can't leave the kids.

Your kids aren't toddlers so not surprised she thinks you can leave them for a weekend

She’s suggested it, you say no. What’s difficult about that?

'Thanks for the invitation. Unfortunately, 3 nights away over a BH weekend doesn't work for me. Happy to go away for a night or 2 at another time though.......'

Drama over

It's fine for her to ask. It's not selfish - what a very weird reaction from you.
It's fine for you to say no you don't want to leave your family for the BH weekend.
The end.
No drama.

I am very curious to hear from @DistinguishedSocialCommentator what kind of life must one lead so that going away for a weekend would be a massive decision that needs days of pondering. Considering the decisions I regularly need to take, it would be quite a simple decision, but I clearly must be missing something here.

From OP's title thread, did anyone else picture her friend bellowing "Go away!

So has she kicked off when you said no? Just asking you absolutely fine as is you saying that you are spending the bank holiday with your family.

Of a fortnight- as long as it's not on a bank holiday weekend obviously!

I think this sounds like you feel you are superior to her because you are still with your partner and she is separated. She has 'almost adult' children who are with their dad- so they are around the same age as your children- especially the 16 year old- but her children are with their dad 'because she is single' but your kids cant possibly be with their dad for 3 days 'because you are a family'. Just say 'sorry, I have other things arranged' and don't go if you don't want to. Don't waste her weekend when she could ask someone less judgmental and have a good time.

Yes!

So wierd. So you're always with your family you've never had a break from them?? Very suffocating .

No. She goes on a long haul holiday without her family once a year, which makes the whole "how dare she invite me on a bank holiday!" particularly weird.

So you think she’s out of order because she asked you to go away on a three day break?

Are you feeling ok?

Is this a reverse?

You’ve not been on MN long enough yet OP.
A seasoned MNer would have gone for the weekend and called the family from the hotel.
To let them know that she’d arrived safely.
😉😁😁

This is absolutely batshit.

I think its really strange you feel so offended and expect your friend to know you hold bank holidays in some high regard for family time.

She asked, you can say no. She is absolutely not being unreasonable at all for asking though.

I honestly thought this was a reverse it was so ridiculous!

So what will you all be doing as a family over the BH?

Do you get up in the morning and think ' blessed as I am with a competent husband and non-clingy children, my life is just too easy.......what can I do to make it more difficult for myself'?

I would love this
Your kids are more than capable of feeding , toileting , amusing themselves as is OH

Unless you had a family event planned that the kids were looking forward to -Go !
Weird to even question this

Having a great time with a friend is not selfish as no one is harmed or put out ??

It's called living !

😂

You do you love!!

I don’t think it’s selfish at all to want to go away for a bank holiday weekend with a friend sans kids.

If you want to say no I can’t go, just say so. Your friend hasn’t done anything wrong in asking you, you weirdo! Why so much tea?

I have 2 kids and I will be going away on a bank holiday weekend without my kids who are 3 and 6. My husband was fine for me to go by myself with a couple of friends and he’ll be doing a trip with his friends later on in the year. I don’t think it’s selfish at all that we want to do this and actually think it’s quite healthy to have some child free time. We also go on holidays as a family together.

Get a grip!

What a massive overreaction. Your friend asked you to go on holiday and you're reacting as if she'd done the most awful thing on earth.

England has 8 bank holidays a year. I don't think it's crazy to spend one of them with a mate, when you have a perfectly responsible partner at home to look after your tween/teenage children. However, it's fine if you don't want to go; just politely decline, but there's no need for all this aggro.