friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

You are very unreasonable to find a perfectly normal suggestion from your friend to be unreasonable, can’t your husband & children who are not babies amuse themselves for one long weekend. I find your response really quite strange & it’s sad that you can’t / won’t have a weekend away with your friend. Hope she has better friends than you to spend time with.

Have you over reacted a little bit? She has just asked if you want to go away, you can say no.

Good grief woman just say no!!! What a non post this is

Are you OK? Are you projecting something here? Have you never gone away for a girly weekend and let your partner just be a Father for 3 days!? Like, does he need his hand held? Are you still breastfeeding?

What a bizarre reaction. 😳

Good God. Mumsnet has really spoken on this. Totally not understanding your reasoning - you go away for two weeks anyway, but apparently a May bank holiday (one extra day) is somehow sacred? Please, explain!

You think it's mean!?

I don't know if this is a severe attachment issue with Mum guilt, or you just need to get a grip.

Everyone is telling you to stop acting like a twit and go have fun.

There will be many more years, filled with many more bank holiday's in the future.

Honestly.

This. Go or don’t go. You are angry with your friend for suggesting a weekend trip? Give your head a wobble

Why is it out of order ? If you resent her asking this much you should have told her ?? Do you want to go or will your dh be upset .

I’ve been on holidays regularly with my sisters no kids even when kids were younger now 19 and 11.

surely they can manage without you for three days . Or is it that you don’t want to let on will upset the household ?

be honest with your friend and you should be pleased someone likes your company enough to ask ! Go - one life live it !!!

do you not think you should have your own time away from the children and hubby ?

whats the problem guilt ? Or your husbands disapproval interested to hear what he has to say about it . You seem to suffer from mum shaming …your kids are teenagers they should know how to look after themself by now . It’s not ‘mean ‘ your choice of words is childish and tell me you may lack some emotional maturity . Sod them all go have fun .

your a mum 24 hours every other day of the year and let hubby step up now as someone said he has joint responsibility .

uour kids will grow up. Leave you and have their own life . Fact .

Stop being so precious - she asked because she thought you were her friend - you can't go - no big deal - she doesn't "expect" you to go - she has asked? Asking is a question not a demand. Just say no..... I have often gone away for a weekend with friends - and left our children with my husband - even when they were a lot younger than yours! Loads of people do it. You never know the break might actually do you good. Your kids will have no issues with being selfish and going off to leave you on Bank Holidays in the future - you might do well to remember that!

It sounds like a fun thing to do.
I don't think it's selfish at all! Have you never gone away with your friends before?
If you don't fancy it, don't go, but she's not being unreasonable to invite you.
If your husband has a problem with you going away for a weekend, that's a whole other discussion, but no, your friend is in no way out of order!

Got a friend who’s husband does not allow her to do overnight any where he controls her

to me that says he don’t trust her . Did say just ask for one night with kids too ( no he will miss me too much ) stopped asking but to think all the fun she’s missing out on cos of be controlling twat . She was invited to be bridesmaid but he had to tag along up north …. Narc

So weird!! I’m going away with my friends in a few weeks for long weekend in Ibiza. Cannot bloody wait!! Kids are 3,8 and 10. Husband was away last weekend with his friends.

I think child free time is really important as is spending time with your friends.

It’s a Bank Holiday. Not Christmas

She suggested going away for the weekend?

You can just say no???????????????

Honestly! The perpetually offended that get offended by everything. I have no idea why anyone would even want their company for 3 days straight.

Wow @Bigbusheyeyebrows have you never done anything without your family. Has your husband never gone away with his friends either? It’s totally normal. I’ve been away without mine lots of times. So has my husband. Why would you not? I bet they would like having the house to themselves. It’s a different dynamic and gives dad more time to shine with his kids. You are massively unreasonable. Your friend is not.

So tell her? She's not forcing you. Don't know what your problem is really

You’re being ridiculous and precious . She doesn’t have to think about your responsibility to your family. She invited you but you can say no if you want to.

I think a lot of people in your situation with a partner and older children would feel happy going.
I have friends that work away Monday to Friday and leave hisbands and children on own.
I'm a solo parent so always on own with a child. It's not hard and your partner would cope fine.

Have you considered saying 'no'?

its almost like the world doesn't revolve around you! you are able to say no without the whole song and dance about what a selfish dreadful person she may or may not be. if you're this bothered maybe you shouldnt be friends with her.

Wow. Do you do anything without your family?
I wouldn't think twice and off I would go. Who cares if it's a bank holiday weekend. They are not even babies they are teenagers! (and I would still go then!)
Sometimes you have your put yourself first.

If you don't want to go don't go, there is no need to create a weird fuss. Mothers do do this kind of thing all the time. It is not abnormal.
Sorry if that sounds harsh- but you sound abit shiny.

I'll go!

Yea she is probably thinking of herself primarily but u can say no thanks. You could suggest just going for a day out rather than a whole weekend

YABU your kids are pretty much all teenagers and would probably prefer spending the time with their friends. No reason why you couldn’t or shouldn’t go away with your friend.

if you don’t want to go that’s fine, but don’t blame it on having kids at home.