Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

For this reason alone, men who are abused aren’t believed a lot of the time… it’s laughed off and not taken seriously, or excuses are made for it.

It either doesn’t bother them enough to make a big deal of it, or they know it will lead to ill feeling in the office, or they flat out feel nothing will change.. or potentially get worse.

Either way I’m disgusted that poster just sits back while that happens to be honest, no one should be openly bullied at work because of their appearance, it’s disgusting.

In our workplace several women tease the men for being fat, bald or for their fashion choices. If the men teased the women for being fat, ugly or wearing bad clothes they would be hauled before HR in 5 seconds flat.

I have worked in predominantly male workplaces and men mercilessly tease each other about the same things. Too fat, too skinny, too good looking. Generally speaking, because of course there are exceptions, it doesn’t appear to bother them in the same way that it does women.

I’ve always felt that very short women and very tall men look ridiculous together. Much more so than a couple where the woman is 6ins taller than the man (as is the case with my DB and SIL). I’m 5ft 1.5 and my perfect height is between 5ft 6 and 5ft 9. I like to be able to feel my boobs against DH’s chest when we hug, and not have to stand several feet away to look him in the eye without getting a crick.

It doesn’t reflect very well on your mate’s character that the reason he isn’t leaving is hat he fears it will take too long to procure a replacement.

I'd hazard a guess that for every woman who doesn't want to date a shorter man there's a man who wouldn't date a taller woman.

The idea that men might be more judged on/disadvantaged by appearance than women seems ridiculous to me.

YABU for two reasons. I don't think there are many women who would refuse to date a man under 6ft tall unless they are a giantess themselves.

Plenty of women won't date very short men, say under 5ft 6in, because of course below that height there is an increased risk of finding someone with "short man syndrome" and so it's fair enough to ignore men shorter than that. I just don't believe there's a widespread cutoff of 6ft.

yes same.

So i would put in a rule that women must leave the very tall men for those taller women!

Only allowed +3inch difference.

To be fair, it would also be good if other women left the rich men alone. or the intelligent ones. hard to find a man at times who had same salary as i did. Or was as intelligent. 😆

It's no better when it's a woman.

We're not talking about covert abuse of men. We're talking about men being called fat or bald at work. Unless solitary women are whispering it to them then I imagine it's witnessed (PP has witnessed it for starters) so if they complain they will have as much chance of being believed as a woman in the same circumstances would. When an employee raises a grievance its a legal right for it to be investigated. To suggest that men somehow don't know this (despite women who apparantly do complain managing to know) is just making excuses. Women have had to fight long and hard for the right not to be abused, exploited and subject to sexist insults, even mauled by males at work. If a man can't use a grievance procedure to defend himself against being called bald, then its a poor show, isn't it?

Maybe they fear they’ll be seen as less of a man/a wimp if they complain about it, in away women are not.

I don't think there's anything wrong if the marriage is giving you what you list in your last paragraph. Isn't that what marriage is largely? Companionship, shared life and family commitment? That sounds like a good marriage to me, assuming faithfulness and not checking whether there's any better offers. You can be content with that and happy.

It's just wrong if someone's staying because they don't think they could do better and would toss the relationship if they thought they'd have another option. That's not being companionable, committed or having a view of life together.

Yeah, isn't OP just great to be doing this work for someone's soon-to-be-ex with all his sterling qualities so he has a better chance of upgrading to an improved model?

What are the odds his wife has posted on MN about her obnoxious husband ...

Agreed, shocking and blatant misandry…

Misandry! BINGO!

Maybe they do. But instigating a grievance for sexual harassment or bullying is no walk in the park for women either, particularly when the perpetrator is senior and more powerful. Yet countless of us have had to grasp the nettle, and in doing so have helped create a culture where the abuse of us in the workplace is (officially at least) less tolerated. If men want to bring about a similar shift and I could contribute usefully, as a witness for example, then I would. But I'm not going to be diverting my energies away from supporting women and girls to take up the cause they are too fearful to take up on their own behalf any time soon.

"Shocking and blatant", no less.

Shocking, I tell you! SHOCKING! And BLATANT!

Given the firestorm of Internet misogyny on any given day, up to and including death and rape threats, demands to choke on a penis and violent pornography, I can't help but feel these guys might be too delicate for the discussion if this is what SHOCKING AND BLATANT hatred looks like to them.

And women will fear being seen as a Karen, a humourless hag, a harpy, an uptight bitch, in a way men are not.

Italian men are unattractive - said no woman ever, perfect example as they tend to be fairly short. Also most women in Europe generally including the UK are around 5ft 3.

I think they meansmooth talking dark haired lotharios of 6ft plus with rippling torsos rather than Mario.

@Moonfishstar, clearly, a guy of 5'4" without very significant wealth or fame is going to struggle.
The strange thing is why this would be a reason to stay in a marriage? As a man, I find that odd. If it is purely for get sex, frankly there other ways. Perhaps, I am more selifsh than most men: getting out a serious relationships, I have always enjoyed having less demands of me and even having a clean place to stay that is harder in a relationship.
It seems he has some deeper emotional need there.

Maybe, but he's good enough for the princess!

Is he though? I'm beginning to think she's more into 10 ft armoured turtle monsters.

She has to be little spoon though.

I don't recall many posts from women saying they stay in shit relationships because they'd not find anyone better; usually it's because they're financially dependent, can't afford another house with three kids in tow, are browbeaten or frightened by violence, or some other fallout if they leave.
If anyone does say she's staying put because she'll struggle to find someone else, I don't agree that she'd get nothing but sympathy. More likely she'd be told to get some self respect and let her chap go and find someone who appreciates him.

Why is it beyond your imagination that he’s staying for companionship, shared lifestyle and commitment to their family life?

OP literally said he's staying with his wife because he thinks he'd struggle to find anyone else!

And being rude like that really doesn't add weight to your argument... I think it actually diminishes it.

You know, you might actually be right. If she hated being kidnapped that much, surely she'd have improved her security by now.

My first thought was that women don't hold out for men over 6 ft. But then I realised that, with one exception, I've never had a boyfriend who was under 6ft. So maybe subconsciously I'm attracted to taller men

DH is 6'1", but when I met him he was very skinny (10 stone 7lbs) and I was initially put off by that.

What I was very attracted to with DH was his brilliant sense of humour, his compassion and his world view. That would have been the same if he'd been 6 inches shorter.

Yes, it's like the difference between "man hating women", who speak out about male behaviour, use pattern recognition, or simply try to stay away from men, and women hating men, who rape, abuse and murder women, every day, in every country.

"Misandry" has absolutely no societal impact at all.