Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

Yes it is definitely a thing and I agree with you OP. We are socially conditioned to think the man must be taller. I am a tall female (5ft 8) and my partner is slightly shorter than me by an inch, it doesn't bother me at all he's amazing. But it does bother him sometimes- he always tries to stand on tiptoe or be on a higher chair if we are having a photo taken. Makes me sad that he feels insecure about his height.

Oh so op is a missionary for the way of short.
But not her, she's enlightened, the heathens can have her short, stringing his wife along friend.
Can't wait for this list of benefits. The only one I can see is that if a short man tries to assault me I've a slightly better chance (but not much) of throwing him off.

Staying for the money? Well they’re clearly a gold digger or cock lodger cough

Yes OP, of course, women are all so shallow and all of us only want to date men who are over 6 foot, course we do , in fact, the 5’8 man I’ve been in a relationship with for the last 14 years is getting kicked out for being too short right after I post this. Meanwhile men are never shallow and all of them are delighted to date a woman taller than they are 🙄

Why don’t you mind your own business? People are free to date whoever they want.

“ But it does bother him sometimes- he always tries to stand on tiptoe or be on a higher chair if we are having a photo taken.”

🤢 think my fanny would be as dry as the fucking Sahara Desert for this man

If OP doesn't want to be thought of as an incel/tedious MRA, OP shouldn't sound so much like one. If it waddles like a duck...

One thing I like about tall men is that the ones I've known socially have all been laid back kind of guys. I discussed this with (tall) DH many moons ago, wondering whether the extra height makes them unafraid of other men & therefore more relaxed. This in turn might make them more attractive to potential partners.

Some short men OTOH... Oh dear. A woman once said to me that she'd had a failed date with a pompous, up-himself bloke who swore a lot. I jokingly said (using every sterotype in the book), "Was he short & a director of his own company, who drives a Jaguar?". She looked at me in astonishment & asked, "You know him???".😂

Actually, my experience has been that IRL, men worry far more about height than women do. Judging only by OLD is inaccurate (but easier to access from your Mum's basement). Men compare themselves to one another a lot, & are aware of their pecking order, in a way which traditional wisdom holds that only women do/are. This is not new. I was astonished to read about guys lying about their height, not just online but in person & even when face to face with a man who actually is the first man's claimed height - & is several inches taller than him!

Noo! 🙃
Have you really seen anyone say or imply this to a woman in these circs? I sincerely hope not, and that someone called it out, if so.

Mind you, the way AIBU is going these days.... 😞

I've been skipping about in this thread - have we still not had the list of benefits to women?

I can't say OP's friend sounds like much of a catch, so no benefit there. Your suggested benefit made me laugh, though, so thanks for that. Anyone got any more? Maybe being able to borrow some of his clothes?

Hmm.. you won't get a crick in your neck kissing him!

Hahaha fair do's 🤣 we are all different!

@IntermittentFarting This is true. DH is a foot taller than me & I like kissing him when we're on stairs & I can be closer to him in height!

I don't know, I'm not sure I count increased chance of him fitting in my lacies as a pro.

I am tall and always been with short guys. One possible pro is people act with disbelief of you are a good looking tall girl with a non alpha looking male. But the downsides of him being squared up to or abused aren't great.
I can pinch his socks though...

@thecrispfiend As long as you don't stoop to be nearer his height. I knew someone who did that in photos & it looked awful.

Ahh no definitely no stooping here!

One thing I like about tall men is that the ones I've known socially have all been laid back kind of guys. I discussed this with (tall) DH many moons ago, wondering whether the extra height makes them unafraid of other men & therefore more relaxed. This in turn might make them more attractive to potential partners.

Some short men OTOH... Oh dear. A woman once said to me that she'd had a failed date with a pompous, up-himself bloke who swore a lot. I jokingly said (using every sterotype in the book), "Was he short & a director of his own company, who drives a Jaguar?". She looked at me in astonishment & asked, "You know him???".

Hmmm…so you are biased in favour of tall men because of your previous experience, and biased against short men because of your previous experience?

I have met very few men who have exhibited “short man syndrome”. In most cases it is a consequence of how they are perceived and treated, rather than a cause of it.

@PippiLongShockinglyLongWait Lacies? No, no, no, the borrowing was only supposed to go one way!

I guess if you're tall & drop dead gorgeous then people will assume that a short guy you're with must be (a) loaded, (b) fantastic in bed, or (c) both - which is an ego boost for him. I suppose it suggests you have access to his money & lots of amazing sex, so it's a social benefit for you, too.

I agree that taller people are usually more laidback. Short woman syndrome is also a thing. I’ve noticed they tend to be quite bossy and thin skinned. My MIL is the worst - 5 foot nothing and constantly says things like ‘I may be short but I still know how to insert something literally nobody asked about’

Interestingly I have a very tall son (he's only 7) and adults will often say to him things like "oh you're lovely and tall aren't you " or to me "it's great that he's a big tall boy" in front of him. I can't imagine if he was small someone saying "isn't he lovely and small" ... makes me think our boys (and girls) are receiving messages about height from a young age even if we ourselves don't comment on it.

@KimberleyClark Well, of all the tall men I've known, I wasn't turned on by most of them, just like I'm not attracted to most men. And I've known short guys who don't have 'short man syndrome' though most of them have had their height commented on - they just react differently.

I'm married to a guy who's 6ft 1 but I can't say it was a criteria, it was just the height he came. I've dated shorter guys (taller than me is easy as I'm 5ft 5)

You need to pay attention! The benefits are that women will get a man! All these single women living miserable half lives because of their own silly fussiness, will become complete and whole with a man by their side. Because a man you don't find attractive is better than no man at all.
And, if that isn't enough, you will rest easy knowing that no short man has ever needed to compromise on his ideal, because without your silly prejudice, he can have any of us he likes!
Still not enough.. ? The OPs friend can leave his wife, safe in the knowledge he will have his choice of replacements.
Short men everywhere will have their lives transformed. They will be confident and happy, and will never forget the kind women who made it possible, and will devote the rest of their lives to helping us improve our own lives in gratitude.

I agree - DS was a tall child - as was DH apparently and people do praise it and assume it translates to adult height. It often counted against DS when younger as with his speech people assumed or insisted he was older than he was.

I feel I have to constantly shut down IL height obsession - and watch I don't pick it up and pass it on. Recent and rare my side of family event - like IL family mix of tall and small people - and no-one mentioned DS height it was all how smart and handsome DS was.

@5128gap Silly me! It's so obvious now.

Thank you.💐

This is true. "Lovely and tall" is far more often heard than "lovely and short". Of boys, anyway.

As a sometime primary school teacher, I often heard, even from their own parents "Oh he may be small, but he's clever/loud/good at sport/friendly... " etc. of a shorter boy, as if being short was in any way a negative that had to be made up for.

Yes, being tall is overwhelmingly seen as positive and desirable as far as males are concerned.