Dh - his annoying habit .

[Notanana]

He leaves his chair out most of the time after a meal .
… drive s me mad .
I have asked and asked that he put it back - remind him
most days- or many days -sometimes call to him upstairs to come and put it under.
it infuriates me beyond measure !
it feels inconsiderate to me .

Its silly but it really stresses me out now - i have developed a learnt reaction and i get angry.

does it really matter?!!

dh says he tries but forgets daily.
he is semi retired so this can happen 3 times a day at meal times ultimately.

he has suggested that i “ work on my reaction” ( it is ott)
and
that he does not use the table - which will affect out life !!

my thought is you are a grown man and you can put a chair under a table !!!

he also moves the coffee table daily and does not put that back either. Every day or many days i move it back.that bothers me less.

Are you menopausal ?
The rage is real

Then he can also wait a very long time for things he expects from OP.

I do this. I do it with a stool at the breakfast bar and my chair at the table. Never mind my husband he just laughs but it drives me absolutely nuts and its me that does it. I also leave the milk out.
All in all i'm mostly a joy to live with so we don't argue about it. So my advice would be, pick your battles ! Its unlikely he is doing it to annoy or disrespect you. It is, as he says, just a blank spot with him.
Is there nothing you do that annoys him or are you perfect ??

Are you menopausal ?
The rage is real

@Akamai perhaps he's not so 'fussy' as the OP

I’m 60. I’ve never noticed if people put their chairs under the table or not.

Is it just me?

He is because he accuses OP of being 'petty and cruel' when things aren't where he expects them.

And he eats cereal if OP doesn't cook but eats her food when she cooks. What a manchild.

Whilst I also like things to neat I won't clear up after DP. I have learnt to turn off my inner need for neat and tidy as well as my seemingly amazing super skill of knowing where everything is.

For example DP never plumps cushions so his sofa and his side of the bed have sad squashed cushions all the time whereas mine are lovely.

Petty? Not really because if he doesn't do it then it clearly doesn't bother him. It's a bit like all the posters who say their DHs are rubbish at presents or forget - it's not important to them so they don't want gifts either 🤷‍♀️

That doesn’t mean the other person has to always acquiesce to what the other person wants. If something fairly trivial bothers you then you are the one that needs to deal with it.

Meh people will always be annoying to live with TBH. No matter what!

I would get annoyed at this too. Yes it is a minor thing but it is a home not a restaurant or hotel and it’s both tidy and courteous to put things back in their place once they’ve been used.
When you are always tidying up after someone it is frustrating when they don’t do something that would literally take one second.

If this is their only bad habit then I could accept it and let it go, but in a rubbish relationship it could definitely be the “cup by the sink”

might do - but I am sure op will be open to other better suggestions .

@willWillSmithsmith
"That doesn’t mean the other person has to always acquiesce to what the other person wants. If something fairly trivial bothers you then you are the one that needs to deal with it."

Of course the other person doesn't have to acquiesce. But why on earth wouldn't he?

I heard of an elderly woman who, when asked the secret of her long marriage, said, "On our wedding day I decided to make a list of ten things he did that I would always forgive, so whenever he did one of those things, I would say, 'thank goodness that is one of the things on my list that I promised not to get angry about'." When asked what the list included, she said, "Do you know, I don't think I ever finished it".

I love that. As long as both partners have the same outlook it sounds like a recipe for a great relationship.

@ClamFandango
I heard of an elderly woman who, when asked the secret of her long marriage, said, "On our wedding day I decided to make a list of ten things he did that I would always forgive"

The problem is that these charming little aperçu are always from women.....

No. I don’t either. I’m just sitting at my table now and two of the chairs are jutting out and one has a jacket draped over it. 🤷‍♀️

I think you’re very very lucky if this is all you have to worry about. I don’t think I’d even notice.

I get told off most days for leaving my keys in the front door so my relative can get in and has to ring the doorbell. They think it’s deliberate and have a right old strop every time but I genuinely forget. I do have inattentive adhd but I think it’s pretty normal to forget something like this.

If you're having dinner together why don't you just remind him when he gets up? I don't get this at all. It's a chair sticking out a bit, it doesn't bother him but if it bothers you then just remind him or push it in. Calling him downstairs to do it when you're stood right there is just bizarre, you're treating him like a child that has to live your way in the house. It takes like 0.2 of a second to push it in yourself, it's not like some huge burden that's falling to you.

Yeah, l looked at ours.

One is fully out, one turned sort of sideways and a jumper over another.

Life goes on.

Life is a lot better if you just let the little things go

Because it’s annoying, and it’s common sense to push the chair back ?

If that is enough to make you angry then I think you have a problem

I don’t find it annoying. I wouldn’t notice it. It’s nitpicking.

Not angry but mildly annoying- I wouldn’t lose sleep over it!