Dh - his annoying habit .

[Notanana]

He leaves his chair out most of the time after a meal .
… drive s me mad .
I have asked and asked that he put it back - remind him
most days- or many days -sometimes call to him upstairs to come and put it under.
it infuriates me beyond measure !
it feels inconsiderate to me .

Its silly but it really stresses me out now - i have developed a learnt reaction and i get angry.

does it really matter?!!

dh says he tries but forgets daily.
he is semi retired so this can happen 3 times a day at meal times ultimately.

he has suggested that i “ work on my reaction” ( it is ott)
and
that he does not use the table - which will affect out life !!

my thought is you are a grown man and you can put a chair under a table !!!

he also moves the coffee table daily and does not put that back either. Every day or many days i move it back.that bothers me less.

You sound like a sergeant major. I'd be leaving my chair out on purpose if I was him.
Who made you his boss?

Then maybe you could take him off OP's hands and live happily ever after as his skivvy.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Absolutely. I’d be deliberately leaving them all out tbh.

@Akamai oops, ok, ignore my post! - I mistakenly thought this page was 'all' that had been said about it (literally him pulling a chair out) - I missed the rest! :) (my mistake)

No problem, sorry I was abrupt.

His house too, there’s no need to be this controlling in a relationship. You call him down like a child? You should count yourself lucky you still have a DH, I wouldn’t put up with that shit and I’m a woman.

yup. My phrase used to be (I am widowed now) "Is this the dealbreaker?" I'd give anything to have the stupid annoyances back.

Yes, count yourself lucky to have any man, no matter how shit or how much mess he leaves. It’s a privilege to clean for men.

You wouldn’t put up with that shit but you expect OP to put up. How hypocritical.

@Akamai you realise there’s lesbians in the world right? Extremely ignorant and arrogant to assume all women are straight. I don’t treat my spouse like a child, no one should.

Which of my posts assumes all women are straight? What are you on about?

@Akamai your post telling me I count myself lucky to have a man… except I don’t swing that way. You automatically assumed I was straight = ignorance at lesbianism, and arrogance in assuming I was straight.

Maybe if he leaves it out - ask him to come back and put it back a- no anger ( hold it in ) until he learns same with coffee table ?
if it causes him inconvenience it will likely stick better

Oh give over, I was referring to your absurd post which said ‘You should count yourself lucky you still have a DH’.

Nothing to do with your sexuality

It was a sarcastic rephrasing of what you said, not telling you anything!

Thanks!

😂😂😂😂

Thats really going to work. More likely to piss him off hugely.

Not a war worth fighting in my opinion because then he’ll be justified in insisting you do things in a certain way as well. It’s a home not a fancy restaurant

Annoying but I couldn't let it ruin my relationship

I thought having a partner there is always going to be niggles that get on your nerves but minor things you accept and move on from. I bet your partner has a couple about you

I’ve voted YABU, despite having similar types of irritations with my husband. He always puts his mug on the side, rather than in the empty dishwasher and he always leaves the downstairs toilet door slightly ajar. Just close it properly! But, these are all really inconsequential things that will not have any impact on anybody’s life, so it do tend to agree with him that you need to stop letting it bother you so much.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/15/style/modern-love-not-putting-away-shirt.html

This article offers a different perspective.

I like the chairs tucked in and DH forgets. If he is standing up from the table while I am there then I will ask him to tuck his chair in, but otherwise I don’t mention it. I certainly wouldn’t call him back etc. Some people would think asking at all is too much but I haven’t managed to let it go entirely so it is a compromise that works for us!

I was going to post similar.

Yes, I agree with this. It might sound petty but there’s usually more than one issue - and it is interesting that they can apply themselves and fulfil detailed requirements at work. This issue is that they can’t be bothered to do so at home.

This wouldn't bother me, but I understand being annoyed by something trivial...my DH kept leaving things on my office desk, and didn't see it as a problem. I took to moving them to his pillow, and this unconscious habit was suddenly not an issue anymore...could you move the chair fully away from the table every time so he has to fetch it? A similar small inconvenience might remind him to push it in every time.

Your reaction seems very ott, honestly, but on the other hand, a tiny action on his part would resolve it, so he isn't entirely reasonable either...

Exactly. This is what I say to my young adult kids about leaving plates and cups in their rooms. It’s an easy thing to do and it bothers me. But they wont stop doing it. Even worse in a partner.

If you called me down to do it you'd be waiting a very long time