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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a family member is being awful, although we’re living under their roof?

180 replies

PeachyGreen95 · 16/04/2024 07:42

I moved into my grandma’s home a couple of months ago, with my partner and our 6 month old baby. This is because I’m on maternity leave and my DP is training to do something else career wise, so we’re having to be careful with money. We were hoping to be here until September..

My grandma offered and said we could stay for as long as needed, we are so appreciative as we didn’t have much option other than to rent and hammer into savings.

Since we’ve lived here, my mental health has plummeted. We try to keep the house as tidy as possible with a 6 month old, I cook a nice home made meal every night for us all, do the shopping and be as respectful as possible but can’t help but think she is always trying to pick a fight. I feel as though I’m walking on eggshells constantly.

She makes hurtful comments often, she said I was fat because my jeans don’t fit after having the baby, said I care about no one but myself as I wasn’t sending photos of the baby fast enough to other family members, she watches like a hawk and will make comments about what I’m doing with the baby, how I’m weaning her etc. I’m so fed up.. last night she screamed at my partner because the baby woke up crying and he ran into the living room to turn the monitor off and said he didn’t want it to disturb her TV… she said she thought he was being funny with her. AIBU to think she’s being a bad person as she’s letting us live in her home and we’ve turned it upside down as a family???

OP posts:
ironedcurtain · 25/04/2024 07:27

AnonoMisss · 24/04/2024 18:16

OMG I KNOW that, she is disengeniously saying 'fat' is benign so I am saying if she really believes it to go ahead and test the theory.

You really missed that point? Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another person who thinks calling a post partum woman fat is ok? What is wrong with people. Yeesh!

Yeah, most pregnant women are so thin, everyone knows that. 🤣

I am genuinely sorry you have some internalised revulsion towards how the human/female body works, but I'm gonna say it, most pregnant and postpartum women are... wait for that dirty, filthy, scary word... fat. That's necessary to grow and bear a child.

As I'm now saying for the 3rd time, if it's said with malice – as ANY observation would be, eg you're fair/tan/tall/short/fat/thin/etc – that's bad of course.

AnonoMisss · 25/04/2024 10:36

ironedcurtain · 25/04/2024 07:27

Yeah, most pregnant women are so thin, everyone knows that. 🤣

I am genuinely sorry you have some internalised revulsion towards how the human/female body works, but I'm gonna say it, most pregnant and postpartum women are... wait for that dirty, filthy, scary word... fat. That's necessary to grow and bear a child.

As I'm now saying for the 3rd time, if it's said with malice – as ANY observation would be, eg you're fair/tan/tall/short/fat/thin/etc – that's bad of course.

You must be reeeeeeeeeally fat to go to this much trouble to say that 'fat' in this context is so utterly benign.

Ive already told you I cant bear your mental gymnastics so no further replies will be given.

Troll behaviour.

ironedcurtain · 25/04/2024 14:27

AnonoMisss · 25/04/2024 10:36

You must be reeeeeeeeeally fat to go to this much trouble to say that 'fat' in this context is so utterly benign.

Ive already told you I cant bear your mental gymnastics so no further replies will be given.

Troll behaviour.

I've been skinny my whole life and have celebrated when I was within normal range eg for my 2nd child's birth, which is why I think I'm not as terrified of the word "fat" as you are (nor do I think it's an insult - not sure if that was your juvenile attempt at insulting me 😂)? However I do have my own sensitivities eg being called dark skinned, even though I know technically there's nothing wrong with that

Eggplant44 · 25/04/2024 15:22

AnonoMisss · 25/04/2024 10:36

You must be reeeeeeeeeally fat to go to this much trouble to say that 'fat' in this context is so utterly benign.

Ive already told you I cant bear your mental gymnastics so no further replies will be given.

Troll behaviour.

Again with the 'mental gymnastics'. That phrase is not as witty as you think it is.

Allfur · 25/04/2024 16:03

Most grandma's are old, I don't go around telling them that

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