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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be woken up to clean?

233 replies

tammym07 · 14/04/2024 01:40

I bring you this post after getting woken up at 1:15 am to go and clean up the dogs sick!

My OH is up, awake sitting in the living room, having a beer and watching TV. Just half an hour ago he comes upstairs and wakes me up to tell me the dog has been sick on the living room floor, it stinks and there is no way he will clean it up.

I gets out of bed, goes down, cleans up the sick. I don't speak, as the dogs already too excited to see me, I'm not impressed with getting woken up and I haven't got the energy for a conversation.

OH then proceeds to say 'I don't know how you can clean that up' I grunt something about having no choice, he then complains that there's no need for me to be an a*se about it. (I will note there wasn't much sick, the dog wasn't feeling ill in anyway and didn't need my attention.)

AIBU to feel it's rude to wake someone up just because you don't want to clean it up yourself? I don't enjoy cleaning it up any more than he would. He also knows I've not been well and really in need of some rest.

Now here I am unable to sleep cause I'm too annoyed. He Never hesitates to wake me up over absolutely anything. He however, goes in a bad mood if he gets woken up when having a nap in the middle of the day on the sofa and one of the children make a noise! Angry

OP posts:
InTheUpsideDownToday · 14/04/2024 08:42

JurassicFantastic · 14/04/2024 03:59

I would honestly leave him and I don't say that lightly.

Even if I had a live in housekeeper I wouldn't wake them in the night to deal with a job I could do myself - that would be really disrespectful. This man sees you not just as his servant but as a servant who doesn't deserve respect.

Why didn't you say no when he woke you and tell him to do it himself? If one of my teenagers had woken me for that I'd have refused to get up, pointed out I wasn't their maid and told them to clean it themselves. If I could do that with a (teenage) child, I can only imagine that the reason you didn't with your DH is that there would be some level of repercussions if you did - which is controlling and abusive.

There are massive red flags all over this post. I seriously wouldn't be going back to sleep - I'd be packing his or my bags.

Agree completely.

You are worth so much more than he thinks of you.
Start the process to get out of this relationship.

Nesbi · 14/04/2024 08:44

i found this genuinely shocking to read.

the only time either of us have woken the other in vaguely similar circumstances is when one of the kids has been sick on themselves/in their bed and we’ve both had to both get involved so that one can deal with the child while the other sorts out the bedding.

The idea of waking someone up to clean up dog sick so you can sit back down and just ..watch them (!) is just absolutely unthinkable. I’m so sorry you are living with someone like that. How could you ever look at them and feel anything other than contempt.

LaWench · 14/04/2024 08:45

How the fuck are women accepting this type of shit from their men?

DoYouSmokePaul · 14/04/2024 08:45

I can’t believe you did it! I would have laughed in DH’s face and gone back to sleep. Literally what the fuck?! What if you were away for a few days, would he just leave the sick there to fester? What an absolute baby.

Grar · 14/04/2024 08:47

death by a thousand cuts

Pipsquiggle · 14/04/2024 08:48

This just has grim all over it.

Does he do anything for you?

Do you have DC together? I am assuming you aren't married

Do you think this man is a good role model to your DC?

Please reread your post as if it was happening to a friend. What would you say to her?

There are so many unpleasant insinuations in your relationship.

everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack · 14/04/2024 08:49

He has shown you who he is.

imforeverblowingbuttons · 14/04/2024 08:51

That's an awful thing to do. So basically he's too important to clean dog sick but you are not.

I would wake him anytime he naps and say 'don't be an arse about it!'

Or get rid

Carrotsandsticks · 14/04/2024 08:52

What the fuck did I just read! What a total wanker. I'm sure there are many more horrible stories about this man's behaviour. LTB.

Londonscallingme · 14/04/2024 08:53

Wallywobbles · 14/04/2024 02:10

Why the fuck don't you rip the entitled wanker a new one. Explain in any way this hard of thinking boy child will understand if he ever wakes you up again, except to save your life, he will regret it in every imaginable way.

😂😂😂

jeaux90 · 14/04/2024 08:53

So basically he thinks you are his support human.

Useless tosser.

Preggopreggo · 14/04/2024 08:54

dirtyblond · 14/04/2024 01:57

YABU to get up and do it

This ^

Timeturnerplease · 14/04/2024 09:03

If DH woke me up for something like that I he would be in danger of losing his testicles with a rusty knife.

SilverTay · 14/04/2024 09:07

Jesus Christ. Mumnset never ceases to amaze me. The shit that people put up with.

OP (if this is real) I hope from these replies you now see that this is NOT normal. Why are you even with him!?

poetryandwine · 14/04/2024 09:07

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2024 03:45

You're unreasonable to clean up, take his shit and not immediately initiate divorce proceedings.

This, if you are married.

I imagine staying with someone who does this kind of thing regularly takes quite a toll on you. You are worth more, OP

BarbarasRhabarberBar · 14/04/2024 09:15

This is much more commonplace than you think. Spoiled, incapable men who can't handle basic life tasks and seek refuge from the very people they believe are below them.

Salt in the wound that he acts like a baby when woken up.

A weak and pathetic man who brings what exactly to the relationship?

I spoke with my DP. He said you leave sleeping people to sleep and that's that.

2024istheyearforme · 14/04/2024 09:18

what I don't get is what would they do if they lived alone? They'd have no choice but to do it, Just like we do it because we have to, Its just lazyness and selfishness. I wouldnt date someone like that though

Gettingonmygoat · 14/04/2024 09:20

I hope you are throwing him out today. Maybe in time you will meet a real man and not a wee boy.

pimplebum · 14/04/2024 09:26

What made you do it ?
Why didn't you turn around and go back to bed ?

How long has this shit been going on ? Whilst angry you don't seem shocked ?

Travelismything · 14/04/2024 09:29

9am tomorrow is the perfect time to call a divorce lawyer. He shows you complete disrespect.

Original poster
tammym07 · 14/04/2024 09:30

Wow thank you for the responses. This has given me so much clarity, that everyone has felt so strongly about how wrong it is.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 14/04/2024 09:31

Unbelievable behaviour on both your parts. I can't believe you got out of bed to do that. I can't believe he asked you to do it.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 14/04/2024 09:36

Wake him up now, to do something shitty like clean the bathroom toilet or anything

I honestly wouldn't put up with this shit at all, ever!!

coconutpie · 14/04/2024 09:37

So you have been unwell, badly need sleep and he wakes you up at 1am to go clean up dog sick while he is sitting on the sofa watching TV and drinking beer? What a disgusting pig. Why did you do it? The appropriate response would've been to tell him to fuck off and clean it up himself.

Honestly, leave him. He treats you like you're totally beneath him.

coconutpie · 14/04/2024 09:38

Also, even if you hadn't been unwell, the fact that he woke you up while he was sitting on the couch drinking is unacceptable. Horrible man.