To be woken up to clean?

[tammym07]

I bring you this post after getting woken up at 1:15 am to go and clean up the dogs sick!

My OH is up, awake sitting in the living room, having a beer and watching TV. Just half an hour ago he comes upstairs and wakes me up to tell me the dog has been sick on the living room floor, it stinks and there is no way he will clean it up.

I gets out of bed, goes down, cleans up the sick. I don't speak, as the dogs already too excited to see me, I'm not impressed with getting woken up and I haven't got the energy for a conversation.

OH then proceeds to say 'I don't know how you can clean that up' I grunt something about having no choice, he then complains that there's no need for me to be an a*se about it. (I will note there wasn't much sick, the dog wasn't feeling ill in anyway and didn't need my attention.)

AIBU to feel it's rude to wake someone up just because you don't want to clean it up yourself? I don't enjoy cleaning it up any more than he would. He also knows I've not been well and really in need of some rest.

Now here I am unable to sleep cause I'm too annoyed. He Never hesitates to wake me up over absolutely anything. He however, goes in a bad mood if he gets woken up when having a nap in the middle of the day on the sofa and one of the children make a noise!

@SunshinenSparkles
So you’re in an abusive relationship too.

Speak to Women’s Aid for support and get rid of him. You’ll be better off without having him loafing around the place.

Just you and your little cat will be bliss !

Yet another childish, spoilt, selfish, pathetic horrible man. No wonder the statistics show that unmarried women are the happiest.

How?

I can’t believe you actually went to clean up the dog sick.
I also can’t believe you’re willingly engaging in a relationship with this fool.

I have wondered sometimes but he isn't violent, just very disrespectful and uncaring. He does a great job of pretending to the outside world that he is wonderful. I've been chronically depressed and suffering anxiety for years and I keep telling myself that I will make changes. I hope someday, I'll have the courage. I worry that if we split, he wouldn't make the effort to see our son. I don't want to separate him from his dad. He makes zero effort with him as it is so I worry that my son would basically lose his dad and should wait until he is older.

@SunshinenSparkles If he makes zero effort with your son now, then your son isn't benefiting from being in the same house as his father. Living under the same roof isn't enough to create a strong relationship.

A partner doesn't need to be physically aggressive to be abusive. If he is controlling, then that's abusive.

Besides, you don't need to be in an abusive relationship to leave someone. If he is neglectful, uncaring and brings nothing to the relationship, then those are very good reasons for leaving him or for kicking him out.

I know you are right. I have this internal war that's been going on for what seems like forever. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people are in the same boat. Maybe time to start saving what I can.

If he makes little effort with your DS while living in the same house, that is more damaging to your DS than an absent father is.

He is also a very poor role model, showing disrespect to you, probably women in general.

As pp said an abusive relationship is about control.
Not all abusive relationships involve violence.

Please look up The Freedom Programme.
https://freedomprogramme.co.uk/sample-online/home.php