To be woken up to clean?

[tammym07]

I bring you this post after getting woken up at 1:15 am to go and clean up the dogs sick!

My OH is up, awake sitting in the living room, having a beer and watching TV. Just half an hour ago he comes upstairs and wakes me up to tell me the dog has been sick on the living room floor, it stinks and there is no way he will clean it up.

I gets out of bed, goes down, cleans up the sick. I don't speak, as the dogs already too excited to see me, I'm not impressed with getting woken up and I haven't got the energy for a conversation.

OH then proceeds to say 'I don't know how you can clean that up' I grunt something about having no choice, he then complains that there's no need for me to be an a*se about it. (I will note there wasn't much sick, the dog wasn't feeling ill in anyway and didn't need my attention.)

AIBU to feel it's rude to wake someone up just because you don't want to clean it up yourself? I don't enjoy cleaning it up any more than he would. He also knows I've not been well and really in need of some rest.

Now here I am unable to sleep cause I'm too annoyed. He Never hesitates to wake me up over absolutely anything. He however, goes in a bad mood if he gets woken up when having a nap in the middle of the day on the sofa and one of the children make a noise!

Twat.

What? Why does he treat you this way? Why does he feel that he doesn't need to respect you at a bare minimum or even cherish you as his life partner?

I'm sorry, but this would genuinely make me question whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with such a selfish buffoon. No-one likes cleaning up vomit, but even if he were physically incapable of cleaning it himself, he could have left it until the morning rather than disturbing your sleep. Decent people don't behave this way; your OH sounds pathetic and unworthy of you.

I take it you haven't got kids??? I doubt he'd ever deal with baby puke or nappy changes.

Under the circumstances you were not arsey.- I would have been arsey and told him to fuck off and not got out of bed.

Even if he really couldn't deal with it he could have gone to bed and asked you in the morning very, very nicely if you could please, please clean it up. And then thanked you profusely.

Leave him.

LTB.

Seriously

He thinks you're staff. Do you really want to put up with that?

I’m unable to deal with sick (can deal with poo no problem).

However, I’d never wake my husband up in this situation. I’ve got to admit I couldn’t clean it up. I’d chuck loads of kitchen paper on it, put an upside down washing up bowl over and go to bed.

His telling you to get up in the middle of the night is sinister. It feels like he considers himself the lord of the manor for, days of yore and you the lowly servant.

This would be the end of the relationship for me.

wow.

YANBU
he sounds like a right idiot!
and your dog is clearly sick of his shit too.

have the argument. Set the boundary. And the petty in me wants to say, ruin every sleep he has for a couple days 🤣

What would you do if something happened to DH and you lived alone, or he had to work away for a while. You would have to find a way to deal with it then!
I have no time for people that pick and choose which bodily excretions they will deal with. If you choose to have children or pets you need to get on with it.

Are you married to this selfish plonker ?

Do you really want to stay with him ?

Life will be so much better without him imo.
Dump/ divorce … just get rid of him,OP !

Waking someone in the middle of the night is abusive and disrespectful.

Do you work and have money of your own ?

Me too.
He’s so hideously nasty I can’t imagine why you even sit in the same room as him let alone stay married to such an oaf.

Well then you have no understanding of genuine phobias. Your bad.

In answer to your question, my husband once came home in his lunch hour to deal with children’s sick, and I’ve got other family or friends who’d have helped if he was away. Fortunately I have people in my life who are kind.

My husband is terrified of rats. I dealt with that once. People helping people.

These replies will hopefully make the op realise that being woken up in the middle of the night like that was completely out of order.

But I do worry that all the gung ho declarations of "I would have refused to get up", "I'd wake him up in the morning" etc are very unhelpful.

It's easy to say that from the safety of behind a keyboard but the op is clearly in an abusive relationship.

It isn't easy to say no to an abuser. It might not be safe for her to say no.

Op, I hope that the replies make you consider LTB when it's safe for you to do so.
I can't remember where they are (hopefully another poster will come along to signpost you) but there are helpful resources on Mumsnet.

You say OP that you have been unwell and there’s no consideration about that from your DH before waking you up. The thing is, even if you were well, he shouldn’t feel it’s alright to do this because it isn’t by any stretch.
Do you have kids? I can imagine what’s he like with you in relation to them if you do.

Its heartbreaking that women are still living like this. OP, I hope you can leave this massive manchild.

He sounds awful, I divorced a better man than this. Very unkind, inconsiderate and disrespectful. Not to mention the fact he’s up at 1am when you have kids, which suggests that he unilaterally designated the morning care and routine to you.

You need to wake him up with a cold flannel this morning. Although hopefully the op is asleep.

What has happened to womenkind to tolerate this shite. Honestly, time after you see these kind of threads and most of the time these utter douche bags get away with their shitty behaviour.

Don’t silently seeth , op, take the bastard down.

You've cleaned up the dogs sick, now get rid of the big pile of shit.

This is insane. It’s both of your dog. And he wakes you like a slave to clean it up. What kind of human is he? I would leave over this. It’s so so damn disrespectful. He is not a good person.

My ex was like this. Deprived me of sleep, and he refused to clean anything up. You'd be better off getting rid. I sleep more soundly at night knowing there isn't a man child lurking about downstairs playing games at night, coming up the stairs demanding sex, and then sleeping all day whilst I look after the children.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

You don't deserve this, OP.

And yes, I agree with PP that this isn't a safe situation for you, and you shouldn't "get back at him" but ring Women's Aid and get proper advice.

This is not a healthy relationship.