He wants me to transfer the money. AIBU to be put off now?

[whatasneezeyone]

Had a date. Went for sushi 🍣

I got a few dishes and he seemed to be counting his coming through. I got some strawberry cheesecake mochi and he said 'that looks nice. I'll try it maybe one time. Spend enough today ahahaa'

Went to tap the card as we agreed to split the bill

I did my half and my card got declined. I said to the waiter, quick as a flash, I'll need to insert my pin because I've probably tapped too many times now

The man I was with on the date said 'let me just get this, please'

And he tapped.

He's now messaging this evening saying 'can you transfer your half? As we did agree to go half. It's Santander xxx yyy lll'

The followed up straight away with a link and saying 'fancy this next week?'

So I have. And haven't replied back to say it's done

AIBU to not be interested now? Just seems a bit petty.

I personally would've just left it if the shoe was on the other foot

Could you reply to the accountant something like this:
"Hi X, I thought when you jumped in to cover the cost of the meal that you had changed your mind, particularly when you said "let me get this". I was simply discussing with the waiter that I needed to use my PIN and insert my card into the machine when you jumped in and paid. I appreciated that you paid and felt that the matter was closed at that point. On receiving your earlier text I now realise that my impression of you was misguided. I have transferred the money and I no longer wish to see you again. All the best, @whatasneezeyone "

No way I’d see him again

This would put me off tbh. He could have paid this one and you could have offered to pay next time. To message after to ask for half back is off putting and awkward. I would pay my half and then leave it there.

How much is he asking for?

Based on the amount I have paid 4 carpet fitters this week- all in cash then they are on more than a Headteacher.

Yes I'd be put off too

The carpet fitter sounds much more relaxed

Ugh, he wanted to look like the big man in front of the waiter - what a prick! That would give me the absolute ick and there’s no way I’d be seeing him again

Bill was £62.44. He's asking for £31.22

Agreed.

I would give him one more chance if I really liked him. But I would find it more annoying to transfer than just pay.

For those who keep saying he wanted to look like the big man paying the bill. Do waiters really give a toss who is paying for the bill as long as it is paid? I don't think it's that deep.

Sounds like you've made you mind up anyway OP and are swaying towards the carpet man. Good luck

He could’ve said ‘You pay next time’. Totally wouldn’t go out with him again.

No the waiter doesn't give a toss who pays (as long as someone does), however, the OPs date wanted the waiter to THINK he was paying the bill.

Didn't want to look stingy (although he clearly is)

How much of the bill would’ve been your share if you weren’t doing an equal split?

Your gut says no, so don’t see him again.

But I think he was trying to save your embarrassment. If you’re prompted to enter your PIN as a security measure, your card isn’t declined or doesn’t, “not go through” - the screen simply says, “enter PIN”.
So if the server said it to you wrongly that it hasn’t gone through, then I think it’s fair that this guy thought it was nothing to do with the PIN.

His offer was to sort out the current situation, and I think it’s perfectly fair to expect you to pay as per agreement.

I wouldn’t see him again if my gut said no, or if he’d been to forceful about “sorting it” - but not because he expected you to pay as agreed.

Did he seem tight before he asked you for the money?

If it’s the 21st century why didn’t he simply let her resolve the technical payment issue on her own using her big girl pants? I have had similar issues with my card easily resolved minutes later. The guy took over in 20th century fashion in front of the waiter using language like he was paying for it and then teleported back to the 21st century again in private by asking her to pay him back.

No wonder so many posters find this not a good sign for a future relationship as everyone looks for consistency. Paying him back is not the issue - seeing him again is the matter up for debate.

This. I don’t think expecting to split the bill is unreasonable in itself but it’s the dissonance between the Billy Big Bollocks stance in the restaurant and the unseemly haste with which he chased you for it.

Ahh, the ick pro max.

Instant turn off that he even asked you to split the bill, I don't know why women agree to this. Block him

You agreed to split the money and you’re now considering him to be tight when he dares to ask for the money. You agreed to this. He’s probably had loads of chancers like you who ‘forget their wallet’ or use an old card and pretend there’s an issue so they can get a free meal. Good on him for chasing it up.

You’re clearly mis-matched financially and he’s had a lucky escape.

Exactly , she should have just put her pin in. He was saving her blushes but she could have spoken up and said ‘ thank you but I’ll try my PIN number.’
jeez.

Pay him and block him

Nope this would also be concern me.

@Crapuscular jeez in fast moving fluid situations people don't always do the exact right thing.

I bet he's gone home sweating about payment.

Op red flag don't bother.

It sounds like he said it so that it wasn't too awkward for you because of the problems with your card. Meaning, you still had to pay your half as agreed.