Parents moaning their pensions are not enough!!

[Bluesky91]

My parents own a large 3 bed semi. They extended it to convert to a huge 5bed house. After I moved out, my brother stayed back. He is not a high earner (teacher). He got married a few years later. His wife works for minimum wage. On their salaries, they will struggle to live on their own - they will have nothing left to save/spend on lifestyle. They have a 4yr old child. They all live with my parents.

Earlier this evening, I was visiting my parents. My mom was out with her exercise group. Brother, SIL and DN went out for dinner. My dad ticked off all of a sudden saying they have no money by 20th of every month and it’s very unfair on pensioners. wtf. My parents have TWO pensions. Just that they chose to pay everything for the house, bills, food, cleaner, car, childcare, DNs activities, etc. DB/SIL spend their income on lifestyle and investments. it’s not NHS/ Govt’s problem. My dad got so mad a me for saying this, he shouted at me saying “do you want us to kick your brother out? How will he live?”

Within means? Like everyone else?

AIBU ?

All very odd but ultimately your DPs choice

It is not your parents' responsibility to.pay for everything. Ur brother should be paying for food and all utilities at least .he is a CF. Why would u do that to ur parents? I'm a teacher so it's not like I'm on 500k pa and don't understand how people live. Don't have a child and expect someone else to pay

One more thing , hope you get your share of the house when the time comes .

It's very sad that a teaching wage plus minimum wage couple can't afford to live independently in your area. Perhaps something to think of at the next election.

They can afford to live independently. Just not in the manner they want to. They could probably buy a 1 bed flat. Plenty of couples with one kid live in a one bed flat - my friend did.

Well possibly they can…seeing as they don’t think they can pay any bills or rent out of their £50k or so joint wages I don’t quite trust their judgement on that.

Your brother and sil are freeloaders, how are they not embarrassed that they are reliant on two pensioners when they are grown adults in employment, with their own child? More fool your parents for bankrolling them.

@wplaf and@NorthernMouse OP has been asked and says the reason is expensive property prices.

They need to move to a less expensive area then.

This is correct. But my parents somehow see this as being cruel to DB. DH and I lived with DD in a 1 bed flat. We then rented a 2bed flat, then bought a house, then moved up the ladder to a 4 bed semi. DB never moved out. He always lived in a large house. Also, because he never moved out, nothing changed in the dynamics. Earlier he went to school, now he still goes to school (but works there now). Nothing changed, except that my parents pensions aren’t stretching much due to cost of living crisis. DB and SIL just bury their head in sand and get on with life.

can’t afford a cleaner? No problem, just do it your self. My mum and dad - they used to manage just fine earlier but now age is really showing.

OP has clarified that her brother can afford a 1 bed flat.

My parents lived here for nearly 40yrs. They won’t move. Why would DB and SIL move? They get on really well with my parents, plus they have a lot of spare money and time due to living with parents.

So this is an area which doesn't need teachers? Given that they can't afford to live in it?

I think he can. But I don’t know how much he saved up.

It’s 100% my parents fault. I think they are paying hoping they’ll be looked after when they need help.

God I can't imagine living with my PIL or parents as an adult. It's just embarrassing. What a dull life.

Its not 100% your parents fault, your brother and SIL are equally to blame

OP is your inheritance protected? I have a very similar situation in my family (Grandma hosted one child and her family for 2 decades, cooked for everyone, provided car etc) and in the end the “hosted child” inherited the whole house despite their being 2 other siblings. DC (an adult in their 50ies) said they did most of the caring when actually my grandma spent 20 years providing childcare, food, cooking and a car. One of the other siblings is now thinking of contesting the will and has already gone NC with the sibling who inherited.

Eh! I'm a teacher and earn £49k so hardly on the bones of my arse! (DH earns £22k). Even with childcare costs we manage fine!

Your brother is taking the piss out of your parents!

That's a pretty unusual living arrangement. And by unusual I mean fucking bonkers.

How long has your brother been teaching op?

@NorthernMouse teacher, if ft, earns a lot more than 30k. I am an unpromoted teacher and I earn 49k.

I would expect so too but according to OP her DB might be able to stretch to a one bed flat for his family in what OP says is an expensive area.

In dB position I'd sure as hell be out of there and into a cheaper area where I could live independently. Who will teach in the schools in OP's family's area?

This

@NamelessNancy plenty of people! Many teachers live in house shares in their 20s when they first qualify or with parents.. many marry other teachers so when ready to buy will be on £80k between them relatively soon especially these days with a starting salary of £30k!

Or live slightly further out and commute.. live in a smaller property.. god forbid some will have social housing!