Who is being unreasonable?

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

@InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow Not wishing to derail the thread but there are two of us older people in a small two bed house and our gas/electric is 150 pounds a month! Need to lie down in a darkened room literally I think

What?

I don't have these conversations with her. She's pretty sensible about these things. And I don't judge her. You put your methods and spending on here. Were you not expecting comments?
But she does have a nose for smells. and dirt.

And you must think the majority of people you come across are dirty.

Well even my hyper sensitive DiL- That is a judgement.

Everyone I know showers daily, without fail.

Of course I was expecting comments, but the batshit ones of I am killing the planet made me laugh and made me see that there are crazy people on here. Our use of other things mentioned are comparable to most, and I am happy and more importantly my husband can see that we are reasonable in our use.

The virtue signalling on here was off the scale.

Our use of other things mentioned are comparable to most

Sorry @TheSpoonyNavyReader but I don't agree. Most people don't seem to be using the amount of toiletries you use.

Personally I change sheets weekly too but I shrink from judging those who don't.

Also I'm not sure what you wanted here - lots if ppl disagree with you but apparently they are wrong. 🙄

Where have I stated how much shower gel, shampoo we use and I have stated that we are in line with what most posters have said on here.

I am also not going to take what most people have said here as the truth as most seem to be environmentalist's that are not happy with anything that does not align to their beliefs.

You know that judging works both ways and believe me I have been judged on everything I have said.

We're just two adults so will obviously use less than a family with kids, but I'm amazed how much shampoo and conditioner most people here are getting through.

You only need a small amount. Unless every member of the family is washing their hair every single day, a standard bottle should last much longer than a week.

OP, I think you need something to break your routine. You are leading a luxury life, and your mind is in a fixed loop of thoughts about cleanliness. Some pps have suggested OCD. Maybe (and I mean this kindly) take a long trip to somewhere like India...not much loo roll around there, just people using their left hand and water to clean their bums. Poor people there have one wearing-cloth which they wash in the river and dry in the sun. You need to break free of your own thoughts...

I have been to India, thanks and understand poverty, do you really think that the people there would not use toilet roll instead of their hand to wipe themselves if they could..
This comment is batshit and India's carbon footprint is even larger than the UKs per head.

As I have said I will not be washing my towels so often.

I think that in the future, people will need to live much simpler lives. Not batshit at all. Can you imagine the environmental impact if all the Indian masses suddenly started consuming hundreds of thousands of loo rolls?

When I was in India every supermarket sold toilet roll and most of the Middle classes had sit down toilets and toilet roll available in their homes. I’m also not sure what you mean about most people only having one ‘wearing cloth,’ even when I was staying in the middle of a slum and when I was staying in a tribal community in the middle of the jungle those I was living with and near had more than one outfit each.

The poster was trying to do some pearl clutching which has failed, honestly it is funny that their attempt was to use the poorest on the planet.

If you think we need to live a simpler life and the answer is not to use toilet paper then there is an issue with you.

Please start using your hand to wipe your arse and tell me how you get on.

That's a huge amount £365 a week I'm sure there are savings you can make is there much wasted food? Do you only buy brands. Cleaning materials can be cut down with white Vinager ....there is a low scent version....it's antibacterial and combined with bicarb or on its own cleans most things...stains, glass, microwaves, air fryer, limescale, fabric softener it's endless.

Hmm @TheSpoonyNavyReader I've just noticed that you op says three full time at work, one part time work and one in sixth form.

Then in your reply to me you say two kids are at home most if the day. Sixth form is usually full time IME so that's not adding up. If one dc is studying part time and has a part time job they're not going to be home that often.

Anyway I am not virtue signalling gosh no. After all I drive a petrol car a lot. I'm just too stingy to use so much shower gel when soap is cheaper and flatly refuse to waste money on kitchen roll.

If you want ways to cut your consumption there are plenty of suggestions here. But I think you just want your ways reinforced and justified. I mean you do what you want for sure.

Wow I've just spotted the post saying you spend £19k a year on groceries and toiletries etc. That is an awful lot. Soap instead of shower gel is the way. Tbf I've not read all posts - do most people really use a bottle of shower gel a week (if that's your usage)? Do you all live in very hard water areas?

I reckon we spend around a third of what you do BTW but we are mostly veggie if that helps.

25 loads of washing a week? Fucking hell.

Family of 4 here 2 adults, 2 teens. All now adult sized (I'm the smallest at home at 5'7)

It takes me 4 weeks to do 25 loads of washing!

No having an EV and other things do not make up for environmental impact of 25 loads of washing a week. Also fabric conditioner is a complete con. I haven't used it for 20 years. I make my own laundry powder. A box of which lasts 3 months.

Other items

Toilet roll - 9 pack every week but don't use 9.
Kitchen roll - 1 a month (I use washable rags mostly). Kitchen roll is used rarely
Shampoo and conditioner 1 bottle of each every 3-4 weeks
Shower gel - don't use
Soap - 1 bar a fortnight
Toothpaste (2 types) 1 tube of each every 6 weeks

Gas and electricity combined £145 pcm.

Its simple 3 kids, one works full time, 1 at sixth form, only at school 3 full days and one works part time 2 days a week. So 2 are home more than they are not. Does this help.

Also I have never said that I want to reduce what we use, was seeing if we were on par with others.

I'd suggest bar soap instead of shower gel. If you still want lots of lather, using a Korean exfoliating cloth or a little 'scrubbie' thing or a Salux 'towel' will produce lather and gentle exfoliation. I like Salux 'towels' because they are sturdy, easy to wash frequently, make it easy to scrub your back, and dry super quick, faster than a conventional washcloth (so less likely to smell manky). Get different colours of towel/scrubbie for each person, and each person has their own bar of soap and soap dish, and there won't be any kid fretting about 'eww he used my soap'. Bar soap lasts much longer, is often better for the skin, and leaves no piles of plastic recycling (lots of which doesn't actually get recycled).

Alternatively, have you considered shower gel refillables? It's pricey to get started and I certainly couldn't afford it for a big family, but L'Occitane does very nice ones, and you could still have lovely shower gel and maybe some savings but without using so much plastic. There are other refillables that are are less costly.

Constant use of fabric conditioner is terrible for towels. It reduces their absorbency and builds up on the fibres. At least cut down the use to every other wash or every 3 or 4 washes. Then your towels will dry out between uses better, and you may then feel more comfortable not washing them after every single use.

That cost is what we spend on weekly shops we then have top ups, shop at the butchers and then pet food.

We buy wine and host a lot for friends and family and have the kids boyfriends and girlfriends over plus their mates.

I've used my hand to wipe my arse many many times in Kerala and Tamil Nadu. It's fine, you have to use water and soap to cleanse your hand afterwards. It feels much cleaner than using loo paper

So why dont you do it here in the UK everyday?

I sometimes do, when there's hot water available

I think you could do with some help, have you thought about seeing someone about your obsessive thoughts/behaviours?

Yes, you're right, there ARE crazy people on here 🤐😂

I honestly haven’t got a clue. I don’t keep an eye on how long things last. Amazed at 2 kitchen rolls a month though. Just how?!