Who is being unreasonable?

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

I think that my environmental impact is balanced out by our Electric car and by the fact some people do a lot less washing than us.

Bloody hell, that’s a ridiculous amount of washing 😮

OP this is very excessive. We have an adult with immunosuppression so have to be careful but for 4 of us I only do 7 loads a week.

Everyone in the house wears clean clothes everyday, bedding is washed weekly or twice a week in the summer, we have 3 super king bed, and 2 king size. Towels are washed after every use, and we all shower/bath daily or twice a day.
That's ridiculous.* *

I think that my environmental impact is balanced out by our Electric car and by the fact some people do a lot less washing than us.
Also Ridiculous.

I said that we shower ever day sometimes twice, depending on Sports (Rugby) and all of us using the gym daily.

You sound very wasteful in terms of electricity usage, water usage and chemicals with all that washing. Fresh towels are not needed after every single use! You’re clean when you use them. You seem to be using an excessive amount of washing chemicals also. Your clothes don’t need to smell like the laundry aisle of Tesco - just a fresh clean smell which you’d get by air drying. The toilet roll usage is excessive also imo - didn’t your children get taught how to wipe without using half a roll?! Obviously if the girls are on periods and use to wrap sanitary pads then a little more will be used those weeks. A whole can of deodorant in a week?? Can’t you all use rolled ones those last ages.

Your DH is clearly right in saying your whole household is overspending. You clearly haven’t any money worries if you can spend like that. Of course you’ve room for 3 super king beds and 2 king beds in your house so I’d imagine you already living a different life than the average family so carry on using excessive chemicals and ruining the environment so your family smells “clean”.

We are a family of 3 working adults and 1 sixth former, so one fewer person than you, but the rest roughly equivalent. One point to factor in is whether people work from home or not (I don't, DH works 2-3 days at home, DS works at home full time)

toilet rolls - I work on 1 roll (the normal size, not the double size) per person per week

Kitchen rolls - don't use

bottles of shower gel - don't use. We use soap which lasts ages

Bottles of shampoo and conditioner - DS and DH have very short hair so don't use much. I'd say less than a bottle a week

Fabric conditioner -don't use
Washing pods - use washing powder. A big box lasts us a few months

Deodorant - we all have our own. One lasts a couple of months maybe?

Tooth paste - we all have our own. Tube lasts a couple of months maybe?

Gas and electric per month. - Our direct debit is set to £150 a month

Your posts make your usage sound fairly excessive tbh, OP.
(We do 6 loads of washing a week in total. I'm also wondering why you are doing all the washing when everyone in your house sounds old enough to be capable of sharing this responsibility?)

Jeez - 25 loads of laundry every week? I feel faint.

3-person family: two adults (one wfh, one hybrid), one mid-teen.

Toilet rolls - at least one per day, so minimum of 7 per week.
Kitchen rolls - 2 or 3 per week.
Bottles of shower gel - one per week as we also use soap.
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner - we use big bottles and they last ages.
Fabric conditioner - don’t use it.
Washing pods - 4 per week.
Deodorant - 1 can each per month.
Tooth paste - 1.5 per week (100 ml tubes).
Gas and electric per month - about £130 per month each (3 bed, 2 reception house).

Each person in your household has a giant bed each with clean bedding twice a week, a shower and a clean towel multiple times a day, never rewears any clothing and you overuse powder, conditioner and “scent boosters” so things smell nice.

Yeah, imho that’s pretty excessive consumption. Even if you think your electric car balances out the energy usage (I doubt it) it certainly doesn’t balance out the consumption of that much water and so many chemicals going into water sources. Plus doesn’t your house absolutely reek of artificial fragrance?

We do not use a can of deodorant a week. Please read again.

Your sneering is really not called for. I do not be rude to someone that only washes once a week and wears clothes that are not clean.

I am unsure why you need to say about the beds!

But you don't need to shower twice - you just make your daily shower the one after sport/gym.

OP - it does sound like you are trying to maintain somewhat obsessively high standards of cleanliness. You will also have passed this on to your children so they think it is normal. I'd suggest as a starting point that you make the children wash their own things. I suspect if they have to do their own washing, their standards might drop :)

Your washing is ridiculous - washing towels every use is completely unnecessary. As is washing bed sheets twice a week (or, let’s be honest, even once a week).

cut down on that and that will cut down on your electricity bill, the crazy amount you’re spending on washing powder and fabric softener.

you’re also buying lots of toilet roll! We’re a family of 5 - I buy a pack of 18 that lasts about a month. You’re all out in the day; how many times are you realistically going to the toilet at home?!

Maybe because it’s people like you with your excessive consumption that are destroying the planet but it’s okay to put chemicals into our water systems and use excessive resources because you “have an electric car”. Owning EV isn’t a get out clause for poor environmental impact elsewhere like excessive washing (towels etc). The beds are to highlight that you must have a large enough property to accommodate 5 large beds so perhaps aren’t as aware of the excess you spend on “scent boosters” as some others would be.

ps you can wear clothes such as jumpers more than once without them being “not clean”. Think it’s you who is sheering judgement with that comment.

My house does not reek of anything but fresh air and some nice soy candles.

I may be the one that is strange on this thread, bedding only needs to be change twice in the height of summer.

We are a family of 5. 4 adults 1 child.

We use per week-

6 toilet roll
Toiletries are tricky as we all have our own
1/2 box wash powder and detergent
1/2 box dishwasher tabs
1 kitchen roll

I feel that clothes that I have worn all day are not clean, my opinion yours are different.

Scent boaster only cost £5 a week so not excessive, if I was spending £100 a month that would be excessive.

How are your bills so high? I would suggest getting the meters checked.

Oh gas and electric is 175

I'm with your DH.

That's a ridiculous amount of washing, and therefore crazy spending on all the detergents etc. Towels don't need washing after every use, and neither do most clothes.

Switch to roll-on deodorants, they last much longer.

Switch to soap, lasts much longer than shower gel.

Halve the amount of fabric conditioner, bet you won't even notice the difference. Scent boosters - WTF? Stop using them altogether. Clean washing smells lovely.

Toothpaste - use a pea-sized blob, not an inch-long line all the way along the brush head.

fucking hell! We use 1 bottle of shampoo/conditioner/shower gel a MONTH between 4 people. How much do people use each day? You need like a penny sized dollop of shampoo/sg, well lathered and maybe 2x that conditioner - but the 2 men in our house do not use conditioner. I can't fathom these quantities!

I may be the one that is strange on this thread, bedding only needs to be change twice in the height of summer.

even in the height of summer, bedding does not need to be changed twice a week…

I'm reeling from the '1 toilet roll per person per day' 😳😳

The gas bill is high as we live in a Victorian farmhouse, on a hill. So we have no insulation in the walls and can not put any in as its listed.

We have it ticking over in the winter at 19.5, as if we let it drop any further the whole house freezes and the heat that has built up just leaves the house.

The meters are working fine just the fabric of the house causes such high bills.

It does as my husband sweats.

Your laundry is ridiculous!!!

Some clothes can be worn more than once.

You all shower twice a day and use a fresh towel each time? Why?