Who is being unreasonable?

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

Yes
Your bedding is dirty if you only wash it every 2 weeks, and I am sure that there is an odour.

Well, I don't know whether you still have vast disposable income after all this but if you don't then that's one reason

If you do, then you carry on wasting it.

Frankly, we all waste too much but you probably need to plant a couple of small woods every year to cover your carbon footprint

You do you.

I am have said that I would reduce my washing, but my other usage is on average.

I can't believe that everyone is having a go about my carbon footprint and how I am harming the planet, I would direct your anger at multinational companies, countries like China and USA, before me.

I think you should look elsewhere.

Our electric is from 100% renewables, our electric car is reducing our footprint quite a bit.

My disposable income allows me to afford everything and more. What is your disposable income like what you like some advice? I can't believe you would even mention it, Batshit springs to mind.

Well even my hyper sensitive DiL wouldn't say that. Don't know how you cope visiting other people.

There is the ability and scope for all to do better.

12 a month? Is that correct, not 12 a week?

Had a look at my last Sainsbury order and I ordered 2 packs of 9, 3 weeks ago and there's 4 left, so 14 in 3 weeks, a bit more than my guesstimate. I think it's a combination of only one person at home during the day, older boys at their girlfriends in evenings or weekends.

Absolutely.

We all need to do our bit, no matter how small.

So do you do 168 loads of washing a month or are you just using far too much?

@jannier

there is a difference in washing powders.

different chemicals to brighten whites than those used to preserve colour.

it makes no difference anyway as you only use one tab/scoop/ whatever per load anyway - so exactly the same amount oerceeek/month 🙄🙄🙄

I hate counting/policing of toilet rolls.

I get through double the week of my period than I do the other weeks and my dad being an arsehole about that when I was a teen made life so miserable.

@TheSpoonyNavyReader

I live alone now & can't remember how much of what I bought when I didn't. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wash my bed linen once a week in winter, twice (or more) in summer. I like a fresh bed especially when it's hot! (Yes, I do air it, but washing two sheets & some pillow cases isn't a hardship (all white so get washed with white t shirts etc). The duvet generally lives folded up on a chair most of the spring/summer (it's there already. I just have a sheet & a light blanket on the bed.

Towels get hung up after a shower and reused. I'm happy to reuse my own towel a few days, then they (towel for hair, towel for body) get washed with the bathroom hand towels (several as they get replaced daily).

T towels & dishcloths get replaced frequently through the day and go in a caddy with laundry cleanse (detol the non sensitive one smells lovely) and washed when the caddy is full. On their own, not with clothes or bath towels).

showers once or twice a day, sometimes more if it's very hot or I'm getting ready to go out again. Just depends what's going on.

clothes - the usual knickers, bra, socks, t shirt are put in the wash each day, but jeans go 2/3days depending on what I've been doing. Cardigans/jumpers several wears - often quite a few wears as I'm a hot person who only has them on for short bursts of time.

you really don't need to be washing your cashmere every 2 wears.

I use olive oil bar soap as it suits my skin. It lasts ages!

I wash my long hair most days & shampoo & conditioner both last ages and I'm not careful about how much I use. (must try harder).

toilet roll - mileage varies.

toothpaste.. ages.

there does seem to be a few things you could change if you were open to it. I see you've said about cutting down on washing, that's a start.

many of us do what our parents did 'as the norm' but I think your parents were a bit excessive & overly concerned about things

what would you like to get out of this thread now??

what was your husband saying that you thought was wrong? Have you changed you mind at all?

Easy, when visiting anyone I would not get into a bed that is not fresh and clean.

Your hyper sensitive DIL is correct, maybe she just rolls her eyes at you and your child is telling her that's Mum, her standards are not great but its what I am used to. Your comments on here make you feel sorry for your DIL, you must be the most judgemental MIL ever.

As I have said countless times, I do too much washing, also use too much powder but live in a hard water area so have to use more powder anyway, double the amount for a soft water area.

My husband was not concerned about the amount of laundry we did, he thinks it is normal to wash towels and clothes after every use.

He was more concerned with the amount of shower gel etc. Having asked on here we use the same amount as most, so not a problem.

We were looking at our monthly expenditure and our grocery bill was huge and total spend was 19K hence us asking questions.

19k a year, sorry for the typo.

I see that….if you add a cup of soda crystals along with the recommended amount of powder, that’s a brilliant water softener

@TheSpoonyNavyReader

£19k ... depends on what it includes I suppose, but PP that's about what I spend on groceries/toiletries etc.

Great thank you, that is good to know.

Do you wear pyjamas? I shower before bed and wear pyjamas so if I sweat it’s not going on the bed clothes, I don’t wash my bedding weekly but it smells fine.

Hey OP not RTFT but we are a family of five adults tho one is not here very much:

Toilet rolls - about 3 a week
Kitchen rolls - never buy, use cloths
bottles of shower gel - use soap, buy that every couple of months max, shower gel bought at Christmas
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner - about one bottle of H&S a month
Fabric conditioner - ugh never use
Washing pods - use big box powders, about 6-7 washes a week so a box of 100 washes for about £13 lasts about 3 months +
Deodorant - ? every few months
Tooth paste - again, every few months
Gas and electric per month - not sure atm but more than it was

WOW at some of these posts. 2-3 loads of laundry a day? Two bottles of shampoo a week?

@TheSpoonyNavyReader you are doing 22 washes a week? You each use a can of deodorant in a fortnight? Maybe you need to make some swaps. My deodorant is a solid stick and it lasts a lot longer than a fortnight. And 12 loo rolls a week? Are you all at home all the time? even so - that's almost two a day!

The toilet rolls is for 3-4 bathrooms and we have lots of guests staying overnight like girlfriend/boyfriends, we have 2 kids home most days as they are studying part time.

I cant use roll on as they bring me up in a rash.

Everyone in our house has their own shampoo, conditioner, body wash, but no one showers every day so they all last usually a month.

Ah Ok I have read some of your posts now @TheSpoonyNavyReader and I apologise for my clearly unclean family (!) not getting through a 12 rolls of loo paper a week. It's not something I police for others tbh but speaking for myself, I am clean and do not smell.

The towels thing is bonkers - I wash ours (everyone has their own) once a week. Between showers and baths they are hung up to dry. I agree with others - no need to wash all clothes every wear - and if you cannot see how "top and underwear" is a lot less laundry than "top, underwear, jumper and trousers", esp when multiplied by five people, then I give up tbh.

I've never used conditioner or artificial scents myself as DD has bad eczema and anything like that flares it up. We still all smell lovely, I promise. I believe laundry conditioner is not good for your clothes long term anyway.

My deodorant is not roll on, it;'s a solid stick thing. Worth a try as it's a lot longer lasting by the sounds. We have more than one loo too but I don't see why that means more loo roll tbh. More loos to clean tho haha