Who is being unreasonable?

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

Wow, we wouldn't be able to afford your energy bills! We live in a 3 bed semi - pay £95 a month for gas and electricity combined by direct debit. Just refunded £180 from our energy supplier as our credit balance was getting too big. (Family 3 adults and 1 teen)

Even when there were 6 of us at home- 2 eldest are married now with children - and the youngest was in cloth nappies I never did 25 washes a week. I don't consider myself dirty but I normally do about 4 washes a week with 4 of us at home and I can't stand fabric conditioner so save a fortune there.

I’ll never understand washing towels after every use - so excessive and unnecessary in my opinion. We don’t have a tumble drier though, so would never have space to hang up any other washing!

It was extended in the Victorian period, what you like me to send a picture.

It’s not the daily showering - I would argue that most do and probably twice if exercising, it’s washing the towels every time that’s ridiculous and unnecessary (if everyone has their own towels, which you have said you do). Daily hair washing is not good for your hair either, but I can only manage every other day as I don’t like having dirty hair.

Most of my clothes do go in the wash after one use, especially tops.

I think you could cut back a bit.

Ew. You come across so entitled and wasteful. I despise selfish people.

I think it's worth reflecting on how much of this is your parents' views and how much is yours. You clearly do care about the environment in terms of some of your choices. Can you explore options for insulation with an energy consultant, perhaps internally? I too would recommend soap bars. I use bars for shampoo and conditioner and deodorant as well and they last ages. I don't actually shower every day as I don't always have time in the mornings and I don't need to. I just wash my face and apply new deodorant. If you reduce the amounts of what you use somewhat and encourage the kids to do the same then you'll probably get the same result and use less product.

We do buy kitchen roll but probably only one or less a month as we mostly use washable cloths which go in with the wash every couple of days. That could work quite well for your household :). I don't use fabric conditioner or scent boosters. I try to minimise the use of chemicals at home where I can.

I do a load of washing every day. In addition towels and bedding once a week so 11 (yikes)

Toilet roll I buy on subscription from amazon. 48 rolls I think it is, every 3 months but we are family of 4. 3 bathrooms but I always have at least 18/20 rolls in stock.

Fairy washing up liquid, lasts weeks as I use the dishwasher daily.

We all shower every day. We all use 2/3 cans of deodrant each except my youngest he's 10 so doesn't use as much. I go to the gym several times a week so I have gym kit most days. If I leave anyone's sport kits I worry it smells so I do sometimes put on 3/4 of a load.

Shower gel, 2 bottles a week

Shampoo they are all men/boys one lasts a month I think. Me, I wash my hair twice a week. It's almost at my bum so that's all it gets haha I buy salon shampoo which is more expensive since but last 3 months.

Laundry capsules I buy big packs.and Comfort, I pour in to the max!! I love the smell of it on clothes etc. So I do 'waste' money there but so does my partner. At least a bottle every 7-10 days

Kitchen roll last ages. But I get the giant ones from costco. Not sure how cost effective it is to be fair but usually split a box of stuff like that with my ex husband. Weird I know.... but may partner and him get on so we do tend to split giant costco shops every few months.

I'm sorry I forgot what else you asked for. 2 adults, a teen, a 10 year old and a dog here!

@TheSpoonyNavyReader One thing I noticed was you said in one of your posts (which I can't find) was something along the lines of you can smell when people don't shower daily. How on earth do you know this? I think your upbringing and maybe OCD is telling you this when it's not actually true. Your yardstick for what's a normal level of 'clean' has become inaccurate because you're so used to smelling washing powder rather than 'clean'.

In addition to the (undiagnosed) OCD do you think perhaps you have hyperosmia? That's a massively OTT sensitivity to smells.

You wash the hand towel in the downstairs toilet that only visitors use DAILY? I don't ever put that in the wash. I just wait until it grows legs and walks to the washer by itself. 🤣🤣

Half your shopping bill is wine????? Half????

You’re living in fantasy land. Washing a full set of clothes every day is mental. Washing towels every time you use them is mental. Washing your hair every day and showering twice a day is MENTAL unless you’re working in a coal mine.

Yes, you’re spending a fortune unnecessarily but it’s your money, and you can do what you want with it.

But its still MENTAL.

Read it again......

I dont and have never said I wash my hair everyday, washing a top, trousers, and underwear after every wash is not excessive and I said I sometimes shower twice a day depending how hot it is and what I have done.

Not mental at all.

Wow I am with your husband, that is a lot. And a lot of washing. We are family of 4 all now adults. I do a lot of washing, but not as much as you. And have no idea really how much we use.

4 washes a week, in your house you have at least 3 beds, 4 sets of towels, 28 pairs of underwear, tea towels, sock and you manage to fit all of that into 4 washes you must have a huge washing machine.

It's much closer to the norm than 25.

Some people change sheets every two weeks.

Underwear and socks are pretty small.

How much wine are you drinking that it makes up half of your (massive) shopping bill?

I tend to let tea towels build up as I do them in a separate wash and I only wash bedding every other week though I do wash pillow cases more often. I do have a large capacity washing machine. Dd16 is terrible and leaves things in her room and every now and again she tidies her room and the washing basket overflows!

Read it again, I said wine, beer and toileteries. We buy a couple/three of £20-25 bottles a week. Beers for our son and husband, and guests.

@TheSpoonyNavyReader you need to get a grip of everything

What do I need to get a grip of?

We can afford it all and we have lots of money left over each month, I like things to have and things to look nice and well cared for.

So you've come here to basically lord it about how much money you have.

Do you realise how insufferable you sound lol.

You buy 3 bottles of wine that cost 25 quid? Then brag about it on Mumsnet when people tell you that yes, you are overspending compared to MOST OF THE POPULATION.

You're obnoxious and I'm out lol.

I read it fine the first time. Your daughters wash thier hair every day.

washing your clothes after every wear IS excessive, as verfied by the countless people on here telling you that.

You do you. But you're making yourself look utterley spoiled and obnoxious and I for one hope your kids dont have these values.

I’m astonished at one person getting through a whole deodorant in 2 weeks! DP and I tend to share a deo spray between us, used by each of us every day and we don’t get through it in two weeks between us!!