Who is being unreasonable?

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

It absolutely is not.

Your electric car took energy to make and ship, and the electricity you use also has to be produced somehow.

I know your post isn't about the environmental impact but don't try and kid yourself. You have a massive carbon footprint with all that laundry and over consumption.

That was a very tongue in check comment!

As I have said I will be reducing our washing and not washing towels so much or clothes.

My husband had no problem with the amount of laundry I was doing he was more concerned about how much shampoo, conditioner and shower gel, we were using and we seem to be on par with others with that usage.

I would also say not knowing about scent boasters is a good IQ test they are in every supermarket, and even advertised on MN.

Do you walk around with your eyes closed.

Well I'm not in the UK and I asked my DH who does all the grocery shopping and he hasn't seen them. But he doesn't hang out in the cleaning aisle of the supermarket any lomger than he needs to because of its horrendous smell.

MN advertising is targeted so clearly I'm not the target audience for unnecessary household chemicals.

Thank you for your kind and considered post.

I may have OCD, and have been raised by my parents to be clean and tidy at all times, they and I would never wear clothes that have been previously worn, as that would be seen as dirty (in their eyes).

I get the "right" feel, but it could be that it is ingrained in me and I need to understand what could be excessive and what could be seen as prefect, in my eyes. I always have to be seen as the perfect host, when the kids were younger they would always have to be dressed nicely in what I would say was tasteful clothes. Reading that back I can see that I could have OCD.

It is certainly food for thought.

Obviously if you all shower twice a day you would use more.....you can reduce it by using the nylon shower scrubs
Do you wash your hair too? If so that might strip the natural oils anyway so not ideal.

We don't shower twice everyday, I said sometimes its twice a day.

I have also said that we would reduce the amount of towels we wash, I have not put the towels in the washing machine this morning.

I've never seen them either.
Like, I suspect, most people, I only go in the laundry aisle when I run out of washing powder which is about once every 3 months. And I go straight into the aisle, pick up the washing powder and then leave the aisle - I don't peruse other products to see what's newly in.
And frankly, I don't care that much about washing beyond wanting clean clothes.

Well there's some of your answer

Clean clothes every day is bonkers. T-shirts yes, but skirts/trousers/dresses/knitwear can be aired and worn again later on.

Changing beds twice a week is also unnecessary unless excessive sweating.

You're using towels on clean bodies so also wasteful, so clean ones twice a day is madness and so environmentally wrong I don't know wear to start. And I assume you don't all do manual work?

And scent boosters are a con.

I actually think (and it's very unfair to think like this I know) that if you can afford to burn money and resources like this you could find more productive uses for your money

That's an absolutely ridiculous argument

Some people are poor/more socially aware/sensible than us so it's all ok

I suspect some of what OP experienced with her own parents at least is family background. Particularly if you were from a poorer background there was a big focus on "keeping up appearances" in terms of making sure your house was always clean and tidy and your children were also scrubbed and wearing clean, well presented clothes. An unspoken (or maybe spoken) view that you were a better person if you did these things (and to prevent others looking down on you).

I remember my mother being absolutely horrified when she found out my neighbour had given me some of her child's old (very good condition) school uniform. She was convinced that the neighbour would be looking down at me as someone who wasn't able to send their child to school in appropriately presentable clothes without "charity". Whereas both neighbour and I just saw it as good sense. She was similarly horrified when she found out I bathed my 2 children together when they were little and sometimes then used the water myself later - considering that sharing bath water to be a indicator that I was from a poorer quality household.

I suspect, OP, it's really worth you considering why you feel as you do about cleanliness.

You're not going to listen so this is pointless

What bothers me is that your children will think that this kind of excess is normal

And it's not.

They don't need to rethink it

They just get told towels (unless dirty) get washed once a week

Well, I separate my washing a bit more than that but you are still washing too much.

If you separated your clothes and didn't throw clothes in too often there's enough of you to make up wash loads so no-one would run out but you'd do way less washing than you do now.

Try it for a month and check your bills. You'll be amazed and the planet will thank you

Do you not air your bed?

We are a family of 3 - one adult, one teen, one tween.

We get “who gives a crap” toilet roll and a big box of 48 seems to last us well over six months.

£147 a month for gas and electric together

We don’t use a lot of deodorant as we use roll on (daughter’s asthma plus environmental reasons) and it seems to last forever.

Washing liquid and fabric conditioner, I buy the big containers of ecover from Amazon (no horrible artificially smell) and these last 2-3 months. I do the same with washing up liquid but the big container lasts longer than that.

Toothpaste lasts at least a month

Shampoo and conditioner, and shower gel - again I buy a big box of six or so, so it lasts ages. We use Sanex shower gel for skin conditions so that might add a bit.

We don’t go in for masses of highly scented stuff in this house as it gives a horrible overwhelming smell.

Towels are washed after every use.

Seriously???

I don’t wash towels anything like every use - what is this madness?

Beds get changed once a fortnight.

Clothes - I agree with pp you don’t wash jumpers after every wear. Trousers depends on whether they have got marks on them, eg at the knees. I don’t understand the just throwing in of things that aren’t dirty as being “just as easy” when your aim is to reduce the amount overall.

😂

Of course we air the bed, but I do not want to lay in bed, knowing that someone has sweated, I will be carrying on as normal washing all the bedding weekly and twice weekly in the summer.

Please tell me how I can be more productive with my Money- honestly this comment is bonkers.

Absolutely this, @TheSpoonyNavyReader

You and your family should go live in a carbon-neutral commune so that taylor swift can run her private jet for a few more miles.

Beds get changed once a fortnight, that is in my opinion not clean, you do know that everyone sweats at night and all those skin cells.

You do you.

You did ask and the overwhelming opinion is that you are being massively unreasonable, wasteful and profligate.

But it's your money...just our resources...

And are we ill? Do we smell? Are our houses dirty?

No