Who is being unreasonable?

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

Your jumper is smelly after wearing it all day and your jeans? Tops etc I’d change every day or things that are muddy (younger children) but generally adult work clothes (office type work not outdoor building work or messy jobs) can be reworn (trousers, outer tops, etc). The towels is more of an issue / that is a LOT of towels washing every week!! Why do you feel a towel that has been used to dry your CLEAN body need washed right away rather than hung to dry and reused the next day?

The point isn’t the actual cost of the scent booster it’s the impact on the environment and you all must smell relaly chemically artificial smells. I don’t see the need but each to their own. Don’t try to pretend your EV makes up for all this excessive chemical useage though. Your soy candles aren’t that great either (so some research about soy rainforests etc) - you’d be better cracking a window open and letting some fresh air in your house. Natural you know.

Family of 6 - WFH and home Ed kids so in the house a lot. We go through 9-12 loo rolls a week. 1 bottle of shampoo/conditioner. 1 box of washing powder a fortnight (don't bother with conditioner or scent boosters). 1 can of deodorant a Fortnight although oldest ds has his own and probably gets through one a month.
Electricity just gone from £180pm to £90 and heating oil is £500 every 3 months.

No I said sometimes twice a day, depending on what we have done during the day. We also shower before if we are going out in the evening.

As I said maybe I am the strange one, my parents always taught me to have a shower every morning, and before you go out with friends for dinner etc.

I still think there is an issue. We are in a similar property and our bills are a third of what you are paying.

But then again I don't do the extraordinary amount of washing you are doing to bump up the electricity element of our bill.

If your husband sweats that much just make him wear PJ’s and wash them!

seriously though OP, you’ve posted asking if it’s excessive, we’ve all said it is and then you just keep coming back arguing that’s were wrong and you’re right.

if you’re happy, then crack on. But you need to accept that you’re in the minority here.

@TheSpoonyNavyReader as you can see from replies it appears your household's overall consumption is greater than the majority.

Should you wish, there are many areas which could be reduced to levels with which your husband would be more comfortable.

Maybe I am just messy but working all day, my clothes usually have a stain on them, or the smells of cooking (cant stand the smell of grease etc).

I am clean when I get out of the shower but its touched your bits and I would hate it to be reused, do you not change your guest towels after someone has visited?

I am only washing the towels like my Mum did back in the 80's.

All windows are opened daily to let fresh air into the house.

I do not smell chemically at all, I cant be the only person that uses scent boaster as there is a full aisle in my Supermarket.

Its my gas that is excessive not my electric bill.

Switch up the fragrance on your laundry products periodically. If you are using the same one for ages you've likely gone nose blind to the smell. You'll probably will be able to reduce the amount used if the only reason you are using more is for the scent.

Also, your radiators may need a flush and rebalancing. Also a pump upgrade may be in order. We live in a much older house than you do and our gas bill isn't that high.

People are only pointing out my laundry is excessive, I admit I wash things too much, but it is a habit and one that makes me feel comfortable.

My husband does not have an issue with the laundry but other things I have listed, like shower gel etc.

We have had a new boiler, pump and the whole system flushed out last year, it has reduced the gas bills. We have 6 bedrooms, 4 reception rooms, Kitchen, utility and boot room, over 3 storeys so its a big house.

I agree with going nose blind, I think that has happened and I will try and reduce the fabric conditioner.

Well both are but the electric there seems to be the reason (your excessive use). The gas seems high but for no good reason when I compare to our comparable house where our gas is half to a quarter of what you pay. Hence I would get the meter checked in case there is an issue.

My electric is £170 a month, which does not seem excessive by the terms of what Ofgem says for our size of house and number of people. The meters are fine and have been checked.

How many in your house and number of rooms, how often its on and what temp is the heating set at, and do you have any other sources of heat?

My husband thinks are shopping bill is too high but when we went through the receipts over half the bill per week was for Wine (I am not willing to give that up) beers, and personal items like shower gel, shampoo etc.

My girls both have very long hair, that they wash everyday.

I would also wash stained clothing or things that smell of cooking but that isn’t a whole new set of clothes (esp jumper etc) every single day for me. If it is for you then fair enough.

I have no idea what you talking about guest towels for. My guests have a set of towels each when they arrive (usually here a night only) and I’d wash them when they leave. I certainly wouldn’t expect nee guests to use the same towels that’s disgusting and I’m unsure why your mind would go there??? However, it’s given an insight into your towel usage problem (and it is a problem) - do you too all have your own set of towels???

In my home I have my own towels, my DH has his own and my children have their own). We use our OWN towels for daily cleaning then hang them to dry then use them again the next few days. We are using our OWN towels so no the fact I dry my bits doesn’t bother me (I mean how much drying do your “bits” actually need??) Obviously we have shared towels like hand towels in each bathroom and kitchen plus tea towels all of which I change perhaps every few days depending on usage.

Do you all share towels?? Because I can see why you’d want to wash them daily. I don’t want to dry myself with the towel my DH used the night before. I don’t I use my OWN. why do you not have your own towels and save yourself excessive washing. It’s so odd. Where do you get the time to wash that many towels every single day and where to you dry them (please don’t say you tumble from wet!!)

Wow this is excessive

All new clothes every day? Is that necessary? We change underwear and T-shirts every day but not trousers, jumpers, etc

Bedding twice weekly in the summer and towels after every use - blimey this is mad

By guest towels I mean those that are in the downstairs toilet, I change that daily as we usually have a guest that uses that toilet.

We all have our own set of towels and the kids just chuck them in the wash after each use, and they have a second set of towels that they take out of the airing cupboard.

I tumble the towels in the winter (not sure how else I would dry the washing) and they are put out on the line in the summer, when the weather is good. They also get hung out at night in the summer, I do not worry about spiders penises going over my washing.

Reading more of your posts OP it seems to me this is likely a throwback to your own childhood. Excessive focus on “cleanliness” eg the towels, you all changing all clothes every day, your girls daily hair washing. It’s all reading as if you had quite an emphasis on this when young and you have raised your own adult children to have the same focus. I’m not sure it’s any healthier than a family with poor hygiene habits. There is a balance.

Shocked by this.

1 adult, 1 DC here half the week. I wash my hair weekly. I don't wash jeans or outerwear every wear. We are clean and smell nice.

Toilet rolls 0.5 to 1 per week
Kitchen rolls..1 a month
bottles of shower gel..I buy foaming gel, it lasts about 3 months
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner ..big bottle of pantene lasts months
Fabric conditioner .. Dont use.
Washing pods..3-4 pods a week
Deodorant..lasts months
Tooth paste 1 tube a month
Gas and electric per month..300

I’d change downstairs toilet towels if we’d had a lot of guests yes but otherwise every few days as needed.

Why do your children (now adults) just chuck towels that have used once in the wash?? Do they DO the washing?? Why in earth don’t the hang them to dry and use the next day.

If you really wash and tumble dry from WET a full set of a large adult family towels EVERY DAY then more fool you. That’s a LOT of towels. That’s a LOT of tumble drying. I assume you line dry on nice days but even so that tumble drier use throughout the year is horrific. For comparison I was our own sets of towels once/twice a week max and hang to dry on washing stands if cannot be dried outside.you just have space somewhere to use wash stands?? Your EV isn’t making up for that difference in resource use there.

Sorry I just read you do hang on dry days which is obviously good. I also do not mind spider penises in my washing overnight.

Do your children do any of the washing? It must be very time consuming and I wonder if they had to do their own if they’d rethink just chucking clean towels in the wash.

What people did in the 80s is coming back to bite us now. You have children so surely you want them to be able to survive on this planet after you are gone. All the excessive washing and crap you are pumping into the environment isn’t going to help plus you are teaching them terrible habits. As for scent boosters, wtaf?

So everyone is saying that I wash the clothes too much, but everyone says that they would not was a jumper after every wash, but if you are going to wash your underwear, bra, socks, t-shirt why not just pop in your trousers and jumper, most jumpers are cotton so can be thrown into the washing machine.

My wool jumpers like my cashmere are hand washed, these would be used twice.

You seem a little fixated on cleanliness but it’s gone a little too far. Please change before your children are impacted further. They have warped ideas of what is “clean”. You don’t need a whole new set of clothes and towels daily. The amount of products (clothes washing, scent boosters, deodorants, shampoo, liquid soap, toilet rolls etc etc) is at LEAST twice what my similarly sized family uses (in soem cases 5/6 times the amount). It all seems so excessive. No wonder your bills are high. Whilst it’s great you can afford all that it’s not so great for our environment. Imagine if every family lived like yours.

if you are going to wash your underwear, bra, socks, t-shirt why not just pop in your trousers and jumper

Because it quadruples the amount of washing! Not to mention the ironing!