ExH child bride

[SorryNotSorryL]

My DD turned 12 a few weeks ago and exH (seperated since she was a babe) took her out for a day trip to celebrate.
he probably sees her on average about once a month, his own choice - and it actually turns my stomach a bit to see how excited/nervous DD gets, built up to his promises of oh dads gunna take me to do x,y,z and dad said this yadda yadda, only to then be disappointed when Lo and behold the promises turn out to be empty.

anyway, ExH who is 38 has apparently decided this is the day to intro DD to his NINETEEN YEAR OLD girlfriend.

DD has come back with buckets of adoration for the new gf, presumably because the gf has pulled out all the stops, bought DD an expensive locket, baked her a birthday cake, spent all day buying her pretty much everything she has laid her eyes on. DD is all like oh, I think this girlfriend is different (there have been 7 or 8 iterations over the years but never one as young) - I think perhaps the new gf has laid it on so thick, probably having had very limited experience of relationships and in the nicest possible way, adult relationships, involving “grown up” issues like step children etc.

it was only at Christmas ex H was playing happy families with the last girlfriend.

I have always made a point of staying well out of his love life, never brought up the new partners as an issue, even when there’s been really annoying stuff happen. However I am concerned that the absolute inexperience of this GF is going to negatively impact my kid- apparently she was asking DD if she would approve of her living with ex H ‘one day’…. Would she mind if new GF got a picture of the three of them to put in her car etc

perhaps I’m being unreasonable- in all honesty I am a bit shocked at the age (and perhaps showing my own age -40- by thinking oh my god what must her parents think 😂my DD is his eldest but by no means his only child)

what do you think???

being unreasonable- she’s an adult, stay out of it.

not being unreasonable - she’s practically a child (and in this case what do you actually do about it???? I’m loathe to stop DD from seeing her dad- she’s not far off being old enough to make her own decision about going and I don’t really want to open that can of worms after keeping the peace for so long)

But what ‘suggestions’ do you think people could realistically make?

You can’t enforce a ‘hard’ punishment via the law, or a ‘soft’ one like squirting water (lol) or PowerPoints. All that remains is voicing your concerns which won’t go down well or register in any way.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about a situation you don’t like. This is one of those times.

You can't do anything about his revolving door of women. You can do something about him not paying maintenance and you can do something to be able to take your DD abroad.

It costs you £232 to apply for a court order. You don't need legal representation. Submit the evidence that he isn't actually sticking to the 50:50 custody schedule and request a lives with order so you don't need his permission to take her abroad or for medical decisions etc.

Contact CMS and let them to the leg work regardless maintenance payments.

There are solutions to some of your problems. Not all. So aim to fix the things that you can.

Not to mention intimating that they were being ‘groomed’ when that was quite clearly not the case. Amazed at how some people will tie themselves in knots trying to make something out of nothing.

It’s really not very nice to employ the term ‘mentally ill’ in this context is it ?

Hilarious that previous posters are getting their pants in a twist about the title. It is quite clearly a sarcastic joke.

We understood the “joke”. We just don’t think pre-pubescent girls being forced to marry men 4 or 5 times their age or more is something to joke about.

If that ever happened in Britain the man would go to jail. I think some people are being over sensitive, as I don't think anybody here took the title literal.