To think a toddler shouldn't be alone in a park?

[sleepfortheweek]

I keep thinking about this and wondering what else I should have done.

We were visiting family at the weekend and my DDs (7&9) wanted to go to one of their favourite parks. The park is quite big, situated right by the river.

It was quite a stormy day, but dry. I noticed a young girl, I would say around 2.5yo, wandering around the park. I assumed she was with one of the many families that were there. She was interacting with quite a few different groups, so at first I didn't think too much of it other than thinking she must be cold. She was wearing a short sleeved cotton tshirt dress. No tights (or even a vest over her nappy) and no cardigan/jumper/jacket. I kept my eye on her as she was latching on to my DDs, while looking around to see if anyone was watching her.

After around 40-45 minutes, another mum came up to me and asked if she was with me. When I said no, she said she was concerned as hadn't seen anyone with her. We asked the little girl where her mum/dad was but she didn't really speak and just kept giggling and running off. We asked the other people in the park, no one had any idea though who she was. The other mum then around the benches outside of the park as asked any of them if that was their child. Still No. She then went into the cafe overlooking the park to ask in there.

She had found the parents - inside the cafe having a cup of coffee? Apparently they were very rude, saying they had their eye on her at all times and she was dressed more than appropriately (the other mum must have suggested she didn't have enough clothes on!).

The other concerned mum was obviously quite taken aback and left with her DC. Another 15/20mins went by, and I kept my eye on the little girl. The parents then came out and took her away.

There were about 4 exits to the park, with a very full fast river right beside it. There's no way they could see her if she was at the far end. The park was also very busy. So many things could have happened and every time I think of it I get this horrible feeling of guilt/anxiety/regret.

This is surely neglect? I keep thinking I should have said something? I'm really fearful of conflict and I'm feeling like I totally wimped out at the expense of that child's safety. The mum was heavily pregnant, and they must have been early 20s. The young girl had marks all down her face (although that's maybe from just being a toddler!) but didn't seem put up nor down by the presence of her parents.

What would you have done?

OP you should still call the police and report what happened. You never know.
I had a situation once where in the airport a bastard was beating up his child of 4-5, in France. No-one, no-one said anything. While I was entering the plane he was right behind me, I turned and he was roughing up the child again. At that point I screamed at him, the mother was doing nothing at all. The man smiled and said what is it to you, then went on to mock me. It was so hard to confront him, it didnt do anything in the end. Someone thanked me later in the plane. When we landed, I went to the police, and shockingly, French police, repeated "what is it to you"?!! I insisted they take note, which they obliged, and have no idea what happened later on. I still think about that child, and wonder what happened to him. It was so distressing to see no-one doing anything, and then even the police questioning why on earth would I care...But at least you should do what you can...

French Police aren't very sympathetic. Very sexist.

A woman decided not to report a serious attempted sexual assault /attempted rape by a stranger in France because of the police attitudes over there.

30 years ago I lived in a town with a park and a duck pond.
A mum and her sister sat on a bench, the mum was feeding a baby.
The 3 and 4 year old went towards the pond. It was down a slope about 20 feet from the bench.
By the time the 4 year old girl alerted her mum that the 3 year old brother had slipped into the pond it was too late to save him.

Those 2 adults thought they could watch the dc from the bench. They couldn't.

Tbh I wouldn't have scored the shops looking for the parents, i would have asked at the park only then called the police and let them take it from there. A child that young should not be alone in a park, I wouldn't even do that with my nearly 4 yo let alone 2yo.

It wouldn't be worth you saying anything to the parents direct as they obviously don't care and would prob just got a load of abuse back and nothing would change anyway and these days you never know what people will do in response.

French teachers still hit children. They're not supposed to but nothing is done.

It’s not your fault OP but it is a perfect example of how abusive or neglectful parents get away with it. Most of us don’t get involved and we should do.

But what I don’t get is, if the parents could see the toddler from the cafe, surely they would have seen the other people asking / looking for the kids parents ? At that point, surely you’d step in and say something ?

Absolutely not ok for her to be alone. I say this as a mum who doesn’t let her 7 & 4 DC out of her sight (so I’m definitely at the more cautious end). Not going to say you definitely should have done something about it - sounds like it was a bit unclear as to whether she was alone. Poor button - she sounds like she wanted someone to play with.

I think I would have called the police.

This is spot on.

I live in a rough area and there is a park very close to the big supermarket and come the warmer weather it is invariably full of street drinkers. One day to my utter horror I saw a little girl around 5 in school uniform in the "care" of a group of drunks. She was calling one of the women "mummy" and this woman was barely capable of standing up. I called the police and to their credit they did come out straight away. Aside from the fact that this poor little soul was with a group of totally wasted adults and going home to god knows what, the park is situated on a very busy main road with traffic streaming down it. I have never forgotten that child and I really hope some full on safeguarding was instigated or already in place and my call helped to build up evidence

I would have gone to the police who could then search the cafe for the uninterested parents! If they got embarrassed so what? We know how quickly kids can disappear with unsuitable people.

I was at a supermarket recently, a toddler was running in and out of the electric back doors. He was in nappies, looked under two years. He ran through the store and out into the car park. I bought him back in and spoke to security guard. She said go out the back door his grandmother is sitting out there. She does it all the time. The security guard had previously phoned the police who said there was nothing they could do.

I know younger people who’ve heard of the Bulger case albeit when the two murderers have been in the news again and they’ve asked me about it.

I would have been on the phone after 5 minutes never mind nearly an hour.

Personally I would never do this, I wouldn’t even be on my phone at the park

🤣🤣🤣

Shocking really. It took me courage to confront the man as I don't like confrontation. Then both the man and the police mocked me. I wasn't in hysterics (outwardly at least) I was calm. The child was beaten, not lightly slapped or anything, beaten, forced to move forward with a kick on the backside, lifted up from his shirt, anyway I'll stop there I'm sure it's upsetting to everyone as it was to me. I hope and pray that child managed to run away or the mom divorced the guy. It's our duty to report these things which all may be used as evidence later on.

I know this park. I have a 3 year old and there is no way you’d sit in the cafe and left a toddler run around this park unsupervised.

Agree with this! It could be one of many instances

It takes seconds for a predator to grab a child leaving her unattended is blatant neglect .
What if she had fallen and injured herself or went down to the river the parents would have no chance of getting to her in time if you can't be arsed to follow your toddler round the park stay at home with them

Thing is, if there are any existing concerns, this will help build a case. Or the parents might be given help. I have 2 adopted children and they are only alive because concerned neighbours nd family kept contacting social services. Child protection is everyone's responsibility.

Why is that funny to you? I take my kid to the park to spend time with her, I'm not taking her there to scroll on my phone which isn't fun for her and is also dangerous. Maybe you should just try being better 🤷🏻‍♀️

Can people on mumsnet please learn the non emergency phone numbers its actually annoying. Anytime anyone posts anything like this multiple people say ring 111. 111 is the non emergency medical line. 101 is the non emergency police line.

I think I’d report it now in case they can be identified from cctv- there could be concerns already as its probably not the first time she has been left to wander, particularly as she was not distressed about it. So sad.

I was in a similar situation. Playing with my DD in a big park area - a little lad who couldn't talk much yet toddled over and came to play nearby. We included him in the game and they played nicely so I didn't think much of it at first, then I realised that no one was watching the boy. I looked at the faces of everyone nearby and no one was giving any attention to him or following him about as he ran around. After about an hour when we were getting ready to go, I went and asked everyone I could see if he was their's. I tried to ask the boy about where his Mummy or Daddy were and he said something about Grandpa and started running off towards one of the exits. I followed him and he walked about 100m away to a big area of grass and there was his Grandpa asleep on a towel in the sun.

I couldn't believe it. The chap just kept saying "it's fine, he knew where I was" but I said that isn't the point - you didn't know where HE was. There was no way he could have seen him from where he was. I was so shocked. He was such a little boy. He could have fallen and hurt himself, or worse. The man didn't look like he was moving and I told him I wasn't leaving until he moved to sit in the play area. He reluctantly did but after a lot of huffing and puffing.