To think a toddler shouldn't be alone in a park?

[sleepfortheweek]

I keep thinking about this and wondering what else I should have done.

We were visiting family at the weekend and my DDs (7&9) wanted to go to one of their favourite parks. The park is quite big, situated right by the river.

It was quite a stormy day, but dry. I noticed a young girl, I would say around 2.5yo, wandering around the park. I assumed she was with one of the many families that were there. She was interacting with quite a few different groups, so at first I didn't think too much of it other than thinking she must be cold. She was wearing a short sleeved cotton tshirt dress. No tights (or even a vest over her nappy) and no cardigan/jumper/jacket. I kept my eye on her as she was latching on to my DDs, while looking around to see if anyone was watching her.

After around 40-45 minutes, another mum came up to me and asked if she was with me. When I said no, she said she was concerned as hadn't seen anyone with her. We asked the little girl where her mum/dad was but she didn't really speak and just kept giggling and running off. We asked the other people in the park, no one had any idea though who she was. The other mum then around the benches outside of the park as asked any of them if that was their child. Still No. She then went into the cafe overlooking the park to ask in there.

She had found the parents - inside the cafe having a cup of coffee? Apparently they were very rude, saying they had their eye on her at all times and she was dressed more than appropriately (the other mum must have suggested she didn't have enough clothes on!).

The other concerned mum was obviously quite taken aback and left with her DC. Another 15/20mins went by, and I kept my eye on the little girl. The parents then came out and took her away.

There were about 4 exits to the park, with a very full fast river right beside it. There's no way they could see her if she was at the far end. The park was also very busy. So many things could have happened and every time I think of it I get this horrible feeling of guilt/anxiety/regret.

This is surely neglect? I keep thinking I should have said something? I'm really fearful of conflict and I'm feeling like I totally wimped out at the expense of that child's safety. The mum was heavily pregnant, and they must have been early 20s. The young girl had marks all down her face (although that's maybe from just being a toddler!) but didn't seem put up nor down by the presence of her parents.

What would you have done?

@Doseofreality you would have called 111 - so reported it to the NHS then? 😂
Not sure what you expect the police to do even if they get the CCTV, just hope that they recognise this couple who in fact, had not abandoned their child, but were watching her further away than OP and another mum deemed appropriate? It doesn't meet the criminal threshold for neglect anyway so probably not a case of not being arsed, more a case of it not actually being a police matter to begin with.

I would treat as an example, mentally plan what you should have done, phone police or 111 then if it happens again I would just do it, don't go looking for parents outside the immediate area , e.g the enclosed park area. Let them explain their actions to the police.

"For arguments sake" that child could have been snatched away in a flash. Look at little Jamie Bulger, his mum was in the butchers shop with him next to her, she only took her eye off him for a second and look what happened to that poor lad.

She was 2 and a half years old, toddling around in a nappy and unable to speak. Her parents left her in a play park with about 20 families they didn't know, several exits and a nearby river while they went off to the cafe to have a drink - unconcerned that at least two random strangers were asking the child questions to try and work out where her parents were. You really deem that appropriate behaviour by the parents?

I spoke to a very nice police officer today to give my statement. She was grateful that I had contacted them but did say it will be very difficult to identify the family.

Really really kicking myself.

Try not to beat yourself up now. In future if alarm bells ring then act on it.

You can always report to social services in an area anonymously but if you feel a child is in immediate danger or shouldn’t be going home with their parents because of a safeguarding concern or an immediate threat then you call the police.

On this occasion I would have called the police.

I have had in depth safeguarding training and this sounds like neglect to me. X

I can understand why this situation has left you confused. You did everything you could in this situation to ensure the safety of this child. If you feel like your response was appropriate, then it probably was. Don't blame yourself for something that was beyond your control. The main thing is that you took action and helped find this girl’s parents.

It sounds like the situation unfolded quite quickly when people actually realised no one was with the child and then found them in the cafe. I can't see the police arriving to speak to the parents before someone found them in the cafe and then the parents took the child away.

Maybe it would have been better to keep the child in the park and phone the police but hindsight is a great thing.

I wish you had a clue how busy and short staffed the police are. My DH went to a domestic in the street m. A woman called for help. The whole family attacked him. His 2 female colleagues couldn’t help because they were busy with a prisoner at the station and prisoners can’t be left alone in case something happens to them. DH had to wait until officers came from the next town by which time he’d taken quite a bartering. That’s 3 officers c overing a radius of 50 miles. That’s 100 miles from one end to the other if you didn’t know.

I'm proud of you for contacting the police, you were in an awful position and most people turned their back and didn't get involved - you did. You are a good person

Clearly this has affected you deeply OP, which speaks volumes about you as a human being. Perhaps, if this area is nearby as others have said, go again or a few times and if you see them again, act accordingly.

OP i can guarantee you hardly any of these so called child welfare specialists and safe guarding champions would have done anything !
literally the most anyone would have done is asked around for mum and dad !
they're al just keyboard warriors

I also strongly suspect the police would have done very little but refer to social services who again would do very little

even when teachers and nurses refer very little is actually done! In far worse cases than this!

you followed your gut in a challenging and rapidly unfolding situation please don't feel you did anything lacking

Yeah, I’d have called the police as soon as it was established that she had no parent actively taking care of her. Of course it’s neglect. The police could have located the parents, found out who they were and contacted SS. This could put them on SS radar or add to information about the family and welfare of the child.
We’ve got to be the eyes and ears for children without a voice and report any red flag. Sorry to sound preachy on this … it’s done now.

I’m sorry but I am shocked you didn’t call the police or the NSPCC. This is clearly neglectful and so unsafe, if this is how they treat the 2 year old, what will happen to the baby. It doesn’t matter they came to collect her, what matters is she wasn’t appropriately supervised.

Please report this! Remember safeguarding is everyone's business

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I'm not local to the area, I was visiting family. It's made it difficult with the reporting as it's obviously a different police force.

I've done all I can do now.

Also - thank you everyone who encouraged me to contact the police. Really pleased I posted and got honest advice.

@sleepfortheweek it isn’t actually hard, that’s why there is the NSPCC, it’s national and you can complete a form or call them. They even encourage you to call 999 if you think the child is in immediate danger.

Should have called the police about this and let them deal with any necessary confrontation.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and all these judgey people saying what you "should have done" when if it had been them in the situation, would they have done that at the time? If you're able to let the police know and see if they can check cctv that would be good, but don't beat yourself up over it.

Been a child protection social worker 20 years so yes, I would say I'm a safeguarding champion.
And yes, the OP should have called the police and now realises that. Every time there is a child death (you know, the big ones all over the news), there are dozens of people thinking "I should have reported my concerns", and they have to sit with the fact that they didn't and a child is now dead or suffered severe harm. Saying nothing to "be polite" or "not wanting to make a fuss" is bullshit.
Safeguarding is down to all of us, not just some.

How quick could the police respond? Even if the OP had called the police immediately other people were looking for the child's parents and they were found fairly quickly in the cafe. It sounds like they scarpered off home pretty quickly at that point. Would the police have arrived in enough time to actually speak to them?

From personal knowledge sometimes that report links into other situations. A young child (around 5) was spotted on own, playing in puddles by a colleague (a TA) she reported to 101 while watching from a distance. Police arrive and took her home, to a nearby house
Later found out the family were already under social services and this went towards their assessment. Family were given input to help them support their kids.
As mentioned in other situations sometimes it's that little bit of info that's needed to keep them safe. BTW, I'm the same if I think kids are unattended/possibly at risk and no adult about, I watch out for them them they shouldn't have to have that risk just cos they've got shitty parents!

As a social worker, exactly this. Thank you.