To ask what your biggest problem in life is at the moment?

[Biggybigbiggles]

Just that really... mine is that I feel frumpy and ugly. Having always been tiny, I've gotten to 30 and I suddenly just feel disgusted with what I see any time someone takes a photo of me.

If you could click your fingers and remove a problem you have, what would it be?

Such a different thread to so many I seem to come across where there is so much antagonism and lack of compassion.

My biggest one will have to stay inside as I can’t face torrents of abuse
My over drinking leading to overeating leading to being several stone overweight
Conflicting between 14 years being single loving it to 14 years single poor me
In general too much poor me and this thread made me wake up

@gillefc82

"Add into the mix 3 large dogs (including a recently adopted rescue dog) to care for, a house that needs some maintenance work doing and seems to constantly dirty from dog hair and muddy paw marks on the floors"

Just to say we have two large dogs and so the same cleanliness issues! However, I saw something the other day which was a lady whose dog had died. She was walking round her house saying how much she missed the muddy paw prints, dog hair, toys and bits of chews everywhere and how quiet and unlike a home it felt. She said the whole time she had him she wished she could have a clean and tidy house and now she would give anything for the mess again.

So now I try to think that whenever I walk into the kitchen 😊I'll take the mess, noise and general chaos over not having our two absolute whirlwinds in our life.

My relationship broke up when I was 37 (no kids) and it was horrendous. I'm now with someone else who is absolutely amazing and the love of my life. It was completely unexpected but he came into my life and has made it infinitely better. Keep going, I promise this is just the start of the rest of your life ❤

Urgh..how long have you got?
Almost 45 and fat and frumpy with bad skin issue all of a sudden.
Someone hit my car 6 weeks ago and caused a shitload of damage..and she was uninsured! Great!
Difficult adult children.
My brother took his life at Christmas and I think it’s only hitting me now.

weight. years of therapy, overcame eating disorder, now weigh half of what i did a couple of years ago. obvious benefits, but i absolutely hate my new "normal BMI" body.

neighbours. just about finished repairing the garden destruction caused by one side leaving a firepit unattended; other side chop about three feet off our hedge (fully on our side of boundary, not shared) unannounced, destroying various nests in the process. felt like the worst kind of violation. but it can't be that both sides are arseholes - it MUST be us, right?

exhausting, difficult in-laws. constant background hum of concern over climate change, geo-political situation - the future, basically.

but on the plus side - grateful that i have somewhere to live, that i'm not worrying about money every single waking second at the moment, that i don't panic about abusive relative finding me as much as i used to (20 years on). and menopause rage feels like a superpower.

💐to everyone.

My first problem is 10 stone extra I’m carrying around
my second problem is that my oldest has autism and another medial issue that makes open days at secondaries HORRIFIC and no school gives a shit around here and no one will agree to a show round at a better time for him.
my final problem is money - I never have enough

Thank you ❤

I’m so sorry to hear this, sending you both healing wishes and hope you get the support and positive news you need soon x

You have had a truly tragic experience re your brother. Please, please take care of yourself. Moment by moment

Have you had your b12 levels checked as they are all symptoms of deficiency

Similar. One of ours sheds everywhere, both can be a pain but DS adores them, misses even while we're away on hols, and family members just lost theirs - hard to see them hurting so trying to appreciate them

It sounds enough to separate to me... what would be enough in your eyes? Physical violence? Your life is worth more than constantly feeling unloved and sad. What would you tell your DC if they came to you feeling that way?

I'm so tired. I have a vitamin b12 deficiency and I have to take vitamins for 3 months to see if it goes away but I don't think it is, and I don't know how I'm going to tough out the remaining 6 weeks. And I'm just busy all the time.

Have you tried a mega dose of iron? I have been permanently lethargic virtually my whole adult life and 200mg of iron has been a game changer.

I'm still reading and 'thanking' posts (I hate the thank button as it doesn't seem appropriate but think of it as a virtual hug!)

For those with relationship issues - PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE. Life is too short to be miserable and feel stuck with someone who makes you feel ugly/shit/tired/stuck. I've been there and it's soul destroying. There is absolutely light at the other side.

For those with money worries - again, been there. Lay awake at night having panic attacks. Thinking I'll be stuck in it forever. Money worries are debilitating and I hope you find some relief.

💝

I had this in both feet for 7 months unable to walk - I was waiting for surgery it was so bad and by sheer chance went onto Clarkes and brought my kids school shoes and saw these shoes with comfort insoles really thick insoles and I brought a pair they were £100 - oh my giddy aunt within two weeks the pin on both feet had totally gone - I chucked out all the cheap loafers I had brought from the factory shop and garden centres etc and brought 4 more pairs. It has never ever come back.

Is that a safe amount to take? Can you buy this?

I had an iron infusion a few months back but I am knackered again and its near impossible to get the GP to act on it again!

Thank you x

Not sure where the post is about the PF - utterly miserable condition - but if you haven't much to spare, even a cheap pair of PF insoles from Amazon can help, I think mine were about £8. Mine was caused by over-pronation and resolved after a couple of weeks wearing them. Now wear them all the time, I think I will always have that tendency, but a small price to pay.

Being relied on constantly, to the point I have no identity beyond it, which sounds horrible as a wife and mum to young kids, I know.

I have just completed a year of cancer treatment and am still chasing some follow up stuff and I have found being so heavily relied on throughout really, really hard.

Like cooking when I was so tired from chemo that I kept having to sit down next to the oven between stirring the stuff on the hob, getting woken up in to a phone call from DH, while in AMAU with sepsis, so he could ask about when one of the kids has PE.

And now, trying to catch a breath as things wind down and process everything. I keep having to give mentally and physically when I feel like the well has run dry. It's brought home how much I have lost my identity as a person.

Did I do treatment so I could live, or so that my family's wife and mother could live? I wonder sometimes.

Realising I'm in a EA relationship with an intimidating and controlling partner. Punched a wall last week. Scared to leave and start over at 33.
Being cut off from extended family after confronting family member who allows someone who sexually abused me to be around me.
Feeling isolated from family/friends.

Rwcently started therapy which was a shock when she asked me if I thought my ex was abusive. It has been something I've wondered for a long time but was always told it was my fault. 8 years after the relationship ended, I'm now learning why I am the way that I am. I have been diagnosed with ptsd.

Money and finances. Two adults working full time jobs and we are living month to month. My car is going to need a new clutch and flywheel soon and we are having to replace dps very old car within the next couple of weeks. We have no idea how to fund these but without doing them, we have no way of working.

I lost my mum at Christmas two years ago and I am so desperate to talk to her that I have started picking the phone up to call her again, only I have to remind myself that I can't.

I am very lucky though. I am healthy, I have 3 amazing dcs and I love my job.

My autistic DC, neither of whom are coping at school or, increasingly, at home. Meltdowns are constant and I’m chronically sleep-deprived. I worry about them all the time as one in particular is very vulnerable.

My own autism, which means I can barely cope with the demands of parenting, my (temp, low paid) job, or day-to-day tasks like housework. I know I’m capable of so much more career-wise but I just don’t fit anywhere and can’t cope with even minimal work stress.

DP’s mental health: he is a wonderful man but struggles with depression and it’s a huge source of worry.

Money - I’d love to have enough to live, not just exist. We’re lucky to have a home but it’s tiny and falling apart!

Watching a parent die slowly - it almost feels unbearable some days.

Missing my beloved dog, who was irreplaceable.

However, I’ve rarely felt more grateful for my physical health than I do reading this thread. 💐 and ❤️ for all those struggling.

It's striking how many lives are blighted by illness. We really are useless at healing the body and mind. For example, I know someone with PTSD and agoraphobia. She's tried everything. Her house is crammed with self-help books, she's been on every kind of drug, and she's had so much therapy she's in debt. Result? She's still agoraphobic.

We can land a probe on Mars, yet when it comes to depression, anxiety, cancer, dementia, parkinsons, and so on, we're hopeless. Yes we can 'treat' them, but so could a Shaman in the Amazon. (And frankly there are times when I'd have more faith in the Shaman – and I mean it.) That doesn't mean it works though.

I'd love to see some major breakthroughs in the coming years. We keep hearing about nanobots and stem cells and genomics and age reversing drugs and all these other amazing things, but they never seem to appear. They're always 'ten years away'. In virtually every street there is someone being literally tortured by a physical or mental illness. Why do we just accept this as if it's normal?

🌺🌻🌹🌷for you

The society we live in is toxic. As such people are going to fall ill. We can throw money at repairing poor mental/physical health but we need to fix the root cause.