Man in ladies’ loo

[Suburbanrunner]

I was out running earlier today and stopped to go to the loo in a local park. A man came in at the same time with his young daughter and went into the cubicle next to me. As she went to the loo the father and daughter talked through all the steps they were taking and also commented on me ie is that lady also doing a wee, is she wiping her bum etc. I felt a bit uncomfortable and thought I’d wait for them to leave. However the father then proceeded to say that as they were there he was going to have a wee too. At this point I couldn’t take any more and said could you not do that, please can you go in the men’s. He got pretty aggressive saying what else was he meant to do as he had his young daughter with him. I felt so uncomfortable at this stage that I left (without going to the loo!)
Now I’m questioning myself - aibu to be annoyed he was in the loos? Or was he perfectly within his rights to bring his daughter into the women’s loos and also use them himself?
thank you mumsnet jury!

@Overthebow yes you do-if your daughter needs to use the toilet.

No, a man should take his young child into the men’s. And a woman should take them into the women’s. Shouldn’t use the disabled unless disabled

No you don’t. Dd needing the toilet does not give men a right to go into the ladies single sex protected space. When my dd needs the toilet her dad takes her into the men’s or uses the disable if it’s also an allocated baby change. We also often go places that have family rooms. We’ve never had an issue with any of these options.

Often the disabled also has the unisex baby change facilities so we use them a lot with our DC. We don’t if there’s no baby change in them.

@Overthebow -well presuming family and or disabled WASNT an option.i would still argue that the father is taking his daughter into a "protected female space".

As a woman I would never use the men's loos when I have my young nephew with me - we would always go in the ladies together.

Now blokes know there is know such thing as ladies loos they will just gone and go as they please. Look forward to them flashing at us, making toilets a dangerous place to be. Yay, progress.

As it’s a protected female space a male shouldn’t be in there.

They've always mattered IMO. I don't remember seeing men in the women's toilets as a child. I hated that gay men at my local karaoke bar always used the women's "because we're not a threat darling".

Also to add none of our male friends take their dds into the female toilets either, it doesn’t even enter into their heads as an option. I don’t know who these men are that think it’s ok but decent men wouldn’t do this.

@Overthebow .i understand the issue-however as the alternative =taking his female child into an absolutely UNPROTECTED female space SHE matters more

I don't need to have a long hard look at myself

Toilets are for the sex of the parent

Men don't belong in women's toilets. If they have a DD they take them into their toilet.

Not difficult

He doesn't need to encourage questions about other people using the toilet - easy enough to say that other people using the loo is private and it is rude to comment.

So funny how you say there's soooo many snowflakes and professionally offended on this thread, yet you understand why the man was annoyed 😂😂

She doesn’t matter more than the other women in there who deserve to have their female space without men in it. No excuses, ifs or buts, men don’t go into the female toilets.

@startingagain202 - Escalated that then-"flashing" and ensuring your little girl can wee in a "safe"female space is worlds apart. @Overthebow "Decent men wouldnt do this" pfft! in the world according to you maybe. whilst not an ideal situation i think a dad ensuring his little girl IS able to learn female toilet is "safe space"outweighs your claim there.Have you EVER been in a mens toilet.?Particularly at "local park"?.... As her "adult in charge" you could perhaps assume hes done his own (parental)risk assesment and opted for the "best"option. instead of deeming him a complete weirdo?

Funny how my point was that in BOTH scenarios women blame the men...

Even though unisex, single cubicle toilets would be a better option and would take away any feeling of being threatened by the mere presence of a man and allow dads to be able to look after their daughters

And still people only go on about how men are evil though

They might have already waited a minute while finding a toilet. And generally they actually can't hold it. I don't tend to try and see how long they can wait because I'd rather they didn't wet themselves

NOW men know there's such a thing?

Were women's loos under some magic spell to hide them until a man stepped into them?

Newsflash - men who want to do bad things will do those bad things regardless. They will come into a ladies loo to attack them, flash them in the middle of the park, make excuses to be in changing rooms...

Well it’s not teaching a child that it’s a safe space when a man goes into it is it? It’s teaching his dd and any other kids in there that it’s fine for a man to go into female spaces. But it’s not and they shouldn’t be right that. I do think a decent man wouldn’t do this, I’d have serious problems with my DH if he thought this is what he should do.

@Overthebow He is teaching her that your dad will do whatever it takes to keep her "safe".id far rather he got caught in a yes,everybody else is do a wee n wipe convorsation than a "hurry up daddy SHOULDNT be in here one"....i agree is not ideal. "family toilet cubicle would potentially avoid this"but as not option. tough"

This. Also no need for the running commentary and very inappropriate to comment on what the lady might be doing. If he was going to wee no need at all to announce it. Almost like he was enjoying OP's discomfort. He should have waited outside or took his DC into the cubicle in the men's toilet.

Why wouldn't the little girl be safe in a men's toilet using a cubicle with her Dad?

Men need to stay out of women's spaces and races. They have their own.

No there is always at least one cubicle for poo.

Teaching her that at the expense of all other females in there. And if your DH can go in there, so can all other dads. You only don’t see lots of men doing this because most wouldn’t take their dds into the females. But what if they all decided this was the best option? At busy family places you could have 5 or men in there at the same time. And when your dd is older and starting to go into the toilets by herself there will be other men that aren’t her dad in there. And when she’s a preteen and starting her periods. Still ok then?