Holiday dilemma

[Tasmin88]

Sorry for the rant but we've had a massive row and I just want to understand what others would do?

Basically, we're on holiday with my DP, his DD (10 YO) and me and my DD (6 YO). His DD won a talent contest and received a £10 voucher to be used on the campsite, fair enough! As a family, we won a quiz and another £10 voucher. It's our last day tomorrow so we were discussing how to let the kids make the most of the vouchers but my DP is suggesting his DD gets £15 of the voucher and my DD gets £5 as that's 'fair'... I explained that from my POV, if it was the other way around and my DD had won the talent content, I would still be saying £10 each in the interest of fairness and teaching them about sharing but he seems to think I'm unreasonable? Thoughts?

Because that doesn't sound loaded at all...
Op:- "are you going to be a nice and kind girl and share your prize with my daughter or not and be selfish, cruel and unkind to a younger girl 🤨🤨😶"

I guess OP has sorted it now, one way or the other.

Just top up your daughter's holiday spending money to match your DP's daughter's amount. Surely a tenner won't kill you if you're already on holiday.

And you might learn something: if your DP complains that she (your 6YO) didn't 'earn' it so it's not 'fair' to his daughter, then you'll know you should dump him. Immediately.

Your partner is correct his DD gets to keep her £10 . The family £10 is then split how you both see fit . His DD should get her Share of the family voucher.

So the Dp should dump op? Because all this hoo-ha is due to the 10yo winning a comp and it 'not being fair' to the 6yo?

My guess was she didn't like the answers…

I think technically DH is correct but thinking about how this would work in our family, if one of our children had won a voucher and then as a family we won another voucher, we would give the other voucher to the other child so they would each have the same. I think what's muddying the waters is that your DH has an over-inflated sense of what is fair for his child.

I think each child should have £10.

Surely that is the opposite. It is op who has an overinflated sense of what her 6 year old should have???

that’s a huge age gap at those ages.

I just asked DD 14 who said it should be £12.50/£7.50 unless the older child wants to share (and she says the dad should ask her in private) because she thinks the adults should give their share to the other child. She also said if DH insists that he has his £2.50 to give to his DD "then it's an unhealthy relationship and the mum should reconsider".

I think I'm raising a wise one!

Im so sad for your kids that you would row about this on holiday. Seriously? Go and enjoy your life. I hope when you wrote ‘massive’ you are exaggerating and you didn’t subject your kids to this on holiday.

I don't understand how some posters can be insisting the dp is dreadful for suggesting his child's money is his child's?

Or one bad at maths. Surely, if the adults are giving their children the adults shares, it should be:

older child £15 and younger £5, as older child has her £2.50 plus her father’s and the younger has her £2.50 plus op’s.

anything other is the older child losing out. And in a blended family teaching girls to put up and shut up is never good enough.

you should raise your daughter to expect to have without guilt what is hers and not to expect to share her money because a stepparent insists on it.

Why ruin the last day of their holiday with arguments between you and your partner over sharing £10.
Pretty sure the dc would rather have an enjoyable last day than listen to their parents arguing.

Exactly. Shocking so many people think the older girl should go without her share because of the step parent insisting her, and much younger child, gets the same amount.

equal doesnt mean the same.

the older child earned the initial ten. Giving her an unequal share of the other £10 than the younger child is grossly unfair.

This for the win.

How about if the mum insists that the older one give the younger one "her" £2.50 as per the OP? Is this also an unhealthy relationship and the dad should reconsider?

So surprised by these replies! She won a contest. That money is hers. She was also part of a team and so part of that money is hers.

I'd just give the younger one a tenner so they can both get something from the camp shop.

I won a cassette player in a talent contest in the 90s (stealth brag lol), I'm pretty sure my parents bought my sister one too not long after as they are a nice thing to have.

£10 for his DD. £10 for a family activity or ice creams etc

I wouldn't actually split it £5 & £5, but I would let the DCs choose a gift each up to a maximum agreed value, use the voucher to pay the first £10 of that bill and then pay the rest yourself/yourselves. Wouldn't you have bought the girls a souvenir at the end of the holiday anyway? My DSs are grown up now, but when we used to do this they would almost never use the maximum budget - for example DS1 would choose something for £2.50 where budget was £5, but that was the thing he really wanted.

10 year old DD gets to manage her own £10 voucher as she won it & she is old enough to do so.

It's not that deep

That is extremely unfair to the older one!

No need to top up anyone's spending money. Her dp's dd won the voucher. If the OP's dd then went on to win a voucher would you be topping up the dp's dd's spending too? It's ok for one child to win something and not the other. It's life

Exactly this.

@AmiShitsaline they're two kids buying souvenirs from a gift shop. £5 isn't going to buy anything, I would just move on and enjoy my holiday vs argue the toss. Holidays are supposed to be fun!

op is your partner trying to prevent you from giving your child money? Bit of a red flag if so.