Holiday dilemma

[Tasmin88]

Sorry for the rant but we've had a massive row and I just want to understand what others would do?

Basically, we're on holiday with my DP, his DD (10 YO) and me and my DD (6 YO). His DD won a talent contest and received a £10 voucher to be used on the campsite, fair enough! As a family, we won a quiz and another £10 voucher. It's our last day tomorrow so we were discussing how to let the kids make the most of the vouchers but my DP is suggesting his DD gets £15 of the voucher and my DD gets £5 as that's 'fair'... I explained that from my POV, if it was the other way around and my DD had won the talent content, I would still be saying £10 each in the interest of fairness and teaching them about sharing but he seems to think I'm unreasonable? Thoughts?

Dp is right. If it was me I would probably use the family voucher to buy everyone an ice cream or something like that, and accept that I would need to put some money on myself.

@HoppingPavlova agree, seems clear to me this is what should happen

I dont agree with this. I have 2 children and would have kept personal winnings individual and separate.

Allowing a child to benefit from a personal prize that they won, especially when this hasnt been down to luck but has been down to something they did, is not treating someone else unkindly or unfairly.

Withhold both vouchers and use it as an opportunity to teach them about taxation.

Agree. Come on! She's 6!

The issue isn’t the winnings, dd can spend that how she likes - it’s the family voucher.

The smaller dd is just six. If she were older that would be different.

No one’s saying to take the eldest tenner away. OP hasn’t suggested that.

They are talking about an extra tenner they won and how to split that.

I'd just give them the £10 each and unless your 10 year old is a budding Alan Sugar I doubt she'll be quibbling over her cut of the quiz takings.

If she's bringing it up, then have a discussion but why make this an issue?

The kids don't give a shit, they just want to skip off and have fun. I think you guys arguing has probably taken the shine off the whole thing anyway.

Sorry, but he is right.

his DD WON her £10. That's hers.

the group won the quiz. Either not for the girls to have or to have equally.

id buy ice creams, that'll easily take care of it.

YABU why should DD10 have to share what she won??

You have got that right, well done. However, you missed the bit where it states that these are 6 and 10 year old children in a holiday camp and the voucher is worth £10.

It’s just miserable for the little one otherwise! I also think your dp should be trying harder to bring the girls together and make it fun for everyone. I would be really disappointed in his mean spirited response tbh

@TheCheekyKoala

kind of, but by giving the DD6 all of the family prize and not splitting it between the girls it's effectively the same thing. Just because DD10 won a prize if her own, why should she miss out on the family prize

The talent winner child- well
done but I would have encouraged her to buy the younger child a small (£1) treat like a lolly or something. As a gesture.

the family quiz should be spent on chips or ice creams or something for everyone to enjoy.

Exactly. 😂 everyone arguing over tenner is ridiculous. It’s such a tiny amount it’s not worth having a row over with your DH.

Why? They are young children. I also think it’s the experience of winning rather than the actual money that should be the focus.

We have always taught our children to share good fortune. It fosters good relationships. My kids probably would have shared the winnings anyway! It’s certainly what we would expect, so YANBU op.

Because it’s literally a few quid. It’s not meaningful. I have more loose change in the middle console of my car for parking then this prize money.

letting a 6 year old go without to prove a point is pathetic when the amount is so minuscule.

You can’t even buy 4 decent ice creams with it from a ice cream shop!

I think you need to say to dp if you expect the girls to have a good relationship then sharing good fortune is absolutely essential. It should be a celebration for everyone and not just the ‘winner’. A winner takes it all mentality in any family, especially a blended one, will become toxic as hell.

This is how girls learn the dangerous messages about be kind at all costs and don't ever make anyone feel bad. His daughter won that prize far and square and no-one should take it off her. Especially because it is something she did to win it not random like a raffle. So another message she will learn is there is no point in trying hard because you won't gain anything from it anyway. I'm totally with your DH.

His DD won a talent show and gets to keel her winnings, spending it it the shop at the resort.

The family wins a quiz and £10 is put towards ice cream or drinks

I'd buy the other dd something from the shop at the same time. Maybe give both of them holiday spends. Our dc are a bit spoilt but we often buy a treat on holiday. In the whole time we are away it's nice to get a souvenir from 1 place.

I can see both sides but why don't you just give her £10 if you want her to have the same amount.

I'd say the talent show winner keeps her prize to herself (or shares it, whatever SHE decides to do).

The family money is used for something for everyone (ice creams?) and any change goes to the smaller DD for the gift shop. Topped up by a £ or 2 from you if needs be.

My 9YO won a £25 book voucher at a school competition end of last term. We gave the kids £10 each on top when we went to the book shop so the 7YO wouldn’t have nothing to spend. Eldest picked 4 titles that were 7-8 & then gave the youngest her spare £5 so youngest had enough for a second book. Youngest was perfectly happy picking out 1 though and didn’t feel left out or upset. While I wouldn’t have been sure what I’d do without this recent event in my head it seems I’d take your DHs approach. I don’t think either way is inherently unreasonable or bad or unfair. It just comes down to your perception. It must be hard if the 2 kids have been brought up with different ideas on what is fair.

No one is taking it away FFS!

Read the post again. You have misunderstood.