Holiday dilemma

[Tasmin88]

Sorry for the rant but we've had a massive row and I just want to understand what others would do?

Basically, we're on holiday with my DP, his DD (10 YO) and me and my DD (6 YO). His DD won a talent contest and received a £10 voucher to be used on the campsite, fair enough! As a family, we won a quiz and another £10 voucher. It's our last day tomorrow so we were discussing how to let the kids make the most of the vouchers but my DP is suggesting his DD gets £15 of the voucher and my DD gets £5 as that's 'fair'... I explained that from my POV, if it was the other way around and my DD had won the talent content, I would still be saying £10 each in the interest of fairness and teaching them about sharing but he seems to think I'm unreasonable? Thoughts?

But the Op basically wants her step daughter to get nothing from the family voucher because she won the talent contest.

i agree with the suggestion of child who won contest can spend her voucher on what she wants. Family voucher for ice creams or a game of something together.

Your DH is correct

This seems fair.

I do wonder how families ever manage to get along and celebrate happy moments together if they are fostering such mean spirited behaviour.

I’m with DH or actually more honestly I’d split the Quiz prize across the whole family - just get some family ice creams or sweets etc. The talent prize isn’t shared. Fine to teach both kids they won’t always get the same, this isn’t actually unfair in any way as your daughter didn’t win a talent competition this time. She should be able to celebrate her sister’s success without having to be also given a gift.

I'm with DH as well, unless you are set that this is how things will operate in future that 'everything is always shared' then you can't do this. You especially can't do your dd gets whatever she wants because she is younger as that then sets up a miserable time for the older child.

The DD who won the talent contest gets to keep their own prize ffs!
Then you decide how to spend the £10 family voucher. It would be simpler to just spend it on some treats for all of you.

Spend the quiz voucher on something for all of you, ice cream, mini golf etc and the 10 year old does what she likes with her prize she won it.

10 ...5 seems fair she won the competition but everyone to thete own

You should give them £20 so they can get an uber and leave you two idiot parents where you are. A massive argument over £10 vouchers, when you are on a holiday.

Poor kids, what’s wrong with you both..

You’ve got it right, and it is spot on. Op is the red flag here.

I know right

I would be looking at this in terms of what your kids want to do and coming up with a plan that maximises fun for the family rather than splitting it in the way that you guys are.

Yes, definitely this. Sounds like it would be a very good thing for your blended family to have a “what shall we choose that’s nice for all of us” conversation. And if there isn’t anything like that, then suggesting the children split it between them seems perfectly fair. It would be good for the daughters to see themselves as shared winners of the pub quiz prize.

His DD’s talent show prize is separate and should be hers.

My DD has won vouchers a couple of times, DS was proud and happy for her. She actually spent some of it on a gift for him. Another time she had birthday money to spend, I gave her a few quid to get a small toy for DS and he was over the moon, I feel like it bonds the children to encourage generosity and sharing between.

In this case the DD10 deserved her voucher to herself, I would give her a few quid extra to get a small toy or sweets for the younger DD. DD10 gets to choose a gift, DD6 feels like DD10 has been thoughtful and generous to share her prize. Quiz money gets everyone an ice cream.

FFS if there's a campsite shop or something I think I'd just let both girls just choose £10 worth of tat each as a memento of the holiday.

And providing you're not totally out of holiday spending money, perhaps all get an ice cream or hot chocolate and chill a bit.

The 10 YO should want to share her prize with her 'step sister' (I don't know what's technically correct in this situation so let's not derail the thread with blended family pedantry). But then it looks like her DF doesn't encourage this sort of generosity.

Yeah, he’s right. Sorry op.

Really? The two adults rather than the kids are rowing over this?
May be time to reassess the relationship.

the 10 yo who won the money should keep it. What lesson is it teaching her if you essentially say she has to share something she earned with her own hard work?!

The 6 YO should be happy for and proud of her 'step sister' (I don't know what's technically correct in this situation so let's not derail the thread with blended family pedantry) and not want her money. But then it looks like her DM doesn't encourage this sort of generosity.

Over a tenner.
Jeez I would just split it evenly in a heartbeat.
TheDD that won the competition has the reward of the achievement. Surely that's enough?

Why don’t you just ask the 10 year old what she thinks you should do with the family voucher? She may surprise you and say give it to your DD. We have a 7 year age gap between our DS’s (they’re 24 and 16 now) but if we thought the older one would be upset by something we decided (obviously not big issues) we’d run it by him first and he always came down on the side of fairness.

The talent contest winner gets the £10. The family £10 is spent on the family, not actually given to either child. That’s fair.

He is right. His DD won £10 through her own efforts. She gets to keep it and gets her share of the family voucher.

Maybe your child will win next time (assuming you're still together)?

Agree. You aren't actually being fair giving all the family voucher to your own DD. It's fair for you all to get a share of it - why such a drama ???