To think pooled finances are probably only for long term couples who met young?

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I'm in my 40's and know a lot of long term (20 + years with and without kids) couples, not all of course but most where finances are all pooled and there isn't really any differentiation between "my money and your money" so to speak.

Do you think I am right to think that this doesn't really happen for couples who meet that bit later in life and typically finances are not pooled in the same way?

I am currently single and can't imagine totally pooling my finances with someone else giving them complete access to my money at this point. However I could see that if I was with someone I'd been with since I was 20 I'd probably be ok with doing this.

Anyone else noticed this difference or feel this way?

I think you have a point, although perhaps generation comes into too? Amongst my group of friends, all of whom got together with their respective husbands at a young age , only 1 out of 8 couples pool finances completely.

We both contribute to all of the bills and childcare costs and put some money into a joint savings account every month. I earn more, so I contribute more to the savings pot, that way we each have the same disposable income after our bills are paid and savings are put aside. This is our own money to do what we please , works well for us we've never had any arguments about money.

We got together at uni and now 24 years later we have always had a joint account, all money is family money. In that time I earnt slightly more than DH until we had kids and I became a SAHM with a small part time evening job. DH career kept going and now the kids are teens and I have a full time job with promotions etc he still earns double what I do. However if we did not pool finances I would have had to work full time whilst the kids were small and neither of us wanted that. DH recognises that I contributed in others non financial ways such as childcare/housework/life admin/emotional support.
very big purchases are discussed but we have free rein to spend as long as we have money available after paying bills and stuff for the house/kids etc. I couldn’t be one of these couple who constantly telling each other they owe 10p for this and the other bought kids uniform last month so they need to buy the Xmas present etc etc

we don’t do that even without pooling out funds. All joint/household purchases come from a joint account that we both contribute to but we have our own funds to do what we want with. Our wages come in and we both pay a % to the joint account then we can do whatever we like with whatever we each have left. Where do we argue about you buy x because I bought Y? 🤷 we have never in 17 years argued about money.