What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

I too sold double glazing many many years ago as a broke older teen. We did this so we could sell it to you there and then. Otherwise 99% of people will say ‘yeah need to check with the wife/husband etc’, after you’d spent ages doing your pitch. When both people are there, you are so much more likely to get a sale. I never went back if it was just one person, almost always a waste of time. Husband/wife gets home with their ‘let’s get 3 other quotes’ and they soon forget you.

If you are the decision maker then it’s none of the guy’s business if you have a husband or not. Just say no next time

Also not sure if it’s still the same, but they don’t get paid unless you commit. So you really do choose your customers wisely, you can spend hours going through it with someone who then want you to come back again when their partner’s home, or never call back, and then you’ve before you know it you’ve worked for days without a wage.

I hope you told them that you had decided that you didn’t feel comfortable having people in your home who worked for a company that didn’t include basic understanding of female emancipation in their training programmes.

It's a long standing tactic, avoid the company like the plague as it's a hallmark of them wanting to embark on an hours long hard sell with you both. My psychic prediction is that he'll give you a staggeringly high quote then fanny about pretending to call the office to organise a 'special' discount which is just for you and only if you sign up tonight. Even that will be about twice what an independent will do it for.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

(Yes I have experience with A)

Don't use them! Also don't go with one of the big companies their products they charge the earth and you can get better products from a local installer go on the FENSA website and find one

I completely agree. The response to that is 'I am the home owner'. I have been surprised enough to navigate so much of this shit simply through using my own family name and not the title of 'Mrs'.

If pressed: 'As I said, I am the home owner. And I'll be seeking a quotation elsewhere. Good day'.

Let them know they are losing business because of it.

Also, my standard response to doorstep selling is to simply say: 'I never do business transactions over the doorstep'. If I want a service, I'll do some research and read testimonials online, and I will approach them. A couple of times the would-be seller has become really abusive with me. I suspect they wouldn't have done that to a man.

I had something similar at a diy shop. I needed to repair and outside wall and asked the person for advice on which type of filler to use. His reply ‘it’s a bit complicated, do you have a husband’?

also, working in tech, when working with tech sales people they often address any questions I ask to any other make I’m with, and I’ve even had (male) salespeople ask if there is a higher person of authority available.

I wonder what they say to same sex couples?
Rudest conpany? Wren kitchens. I went in in jeans and a jumper. They really couldn't be ar*ed. Perhaps because I'm large and without my husband. Bloody cheek, my house, my £40k budget.

You got off lightly. Some friends of mine had a really expensive kitchen conversion done by Wren.

WHAT a mess. And let's say the company did not want to own it.

I've had this, it blew their tiny minds when I said I own the house, solely in my name and there is no Mr ding.
I've also had sfs round when my fella was there. He put his entire sales pitch to the fella. Even though he was told by us both multiple times that it was my house, I'm paying, pitch to me, fella doesnt even live here.

Threw him out after an hour. Could not bear the misogyny any more.

Went with a local firm who are brilliant. I recommend to everyone I know who needs windows.

I would send an email to the office telling them what you've told us and watch them come crawling.

Tell them you told us and tell us what company this is. Name and shame, OP. Construction is a male dominated field but if their bottom line/ profits are hit they not only listen but act. Demand a significant discount. Their salesman is turning customers against them.

Remind them that if they want to be sexist the trope is that home improvement decisions are made by women.

Haha, really?

What if one of them was working on an oil rig for 6 months, or in the South Seas on a naval ship, serving in Afghanistan maybe, or in prison, or suffering from ill health such as dementia or some other mental incapacity?

ds is a tradesman and couples are a pain in the arse. He is fed up being stuck in the middle between them if one (man or woman) has agreed to something the other doesn't want, and it is simply much easier when both are there. Men just tend to agree when asked for both householders to be present for larger jobs, many women actively look to take personal offense. Those jobs tend to go to the bottom of the pile.

If he quotes with one partner they regularly want to meet a second time with their partner to discuss the work/price again (equally men and women which is why he asked for both to be present for quotes). He doesn't want to spend an hour + travelling time to measure up/do a free quote to have to go back again to repeat himself/renegotiate a price.

It is more effective use of his time to do quotes when both are around to ask any questions, agree the work and the price. If they agree to the job being done he will also take a sample/template while there, they save money/perhaps a day of annual leave from work for him to come back at a later date just to get a template, and they get their job done quicker.

He may be protecting himself against false allegations of sexual assault without a witness eg if a lone woman at home made an allegation against a workman, it would be your word against his so he may be trying to arrange a time where he feels less vulnerable to false allegations with no witnesses

I had this.
I had reached out to them, organised the appointment, was using my own money. Salesman came around and insisted on taking DH's details and put him as primary contact for the quote. Spoke over me and was incredibly patronising.
Half way through the pitch I told him that it was me who was buying the windows so could be please address me when speaking, he rolled his eyes at my husband who then sat back and told him to please speak to me or leave. The man then talked to me like I had no idea what a window even was. I asked him to leave as I was uncomfortable with his approach. He accused me of being racist. I then got a follow up email addressed to my husband.
I complained to the company several times and never once heard back.

I would ask for the company name, so that I could avoid the company, and then close the door.

I’ve had a lot of building work done recently, dealt with multiple companies and have NEVER been asked if I have a husband. I wouldn’t even bother getting a quote and yes I’d leave feedback on trustpilot or with the company if I could be bothered to say why they wouldn’t get my business. The whole Mrs/Ms thing alone would have lost me as a customer, let alone the rest!

This is the issue though, isn't it? I avoided getting my double glazing replaced for ages because I knew the companies used dodgy hard-sell tactics.

I reckon your conversion rate would be better if you just came, measured up, provided a written ( reasonable not vastly inflated ) quote, and left. Could probably do quite a few quotes in the time it took to try and hard sell windows for 3 hours in someone's house.

I went with a local independent who came, measured, and sent a written quote a day later.

And absolutely nothing to do with the fact that if you persuaded them into signing the finance agreement, they'd not have any rights to cancel because you'd made them sign (at the end of a long, pressured sales visit just to get you out) in their own home, rather than on your premises or online? That being just a happy coincidence?

It is the same for holidays. Many people go in and enquire but when a couple turn up together at a travel agents, they are probably going to book.

I was coming on to say Anglian. You're not the first person I've read this about with their sales people!

Google "Anglian Windows sexist salesman" and you'll find multiple stories!

I used them once, but I was single at the time, so didn't have to put up with that nonsense. We'd not use them now!

Our window company dealt solely with me. My husbands name was on the contract along with mine.

I contacted them, I showed them around, I was there when they did the survey, I said I wanted to check we were both happy with it and would confirm in a couple of days, I confirmed we were happy, I was there when they fitted them and they met my husband once when he offered them a brew.

My husband bumped into them before me as they were finishing up and they offered him the invoice before joking that there was no point giving it to him, they’d just give it straight to ‘the boss’. We all laughed and then I paid it from the joint account. I think the fitter even joked that he does this for a living and his wife still deals with all trades etc for them. Zero issue from anyone and it all got done.

I’d definitely feedback

It's a sales tactic. They want you pressured into making a decision on the spot. This is easier if you are both there. Don't get a quote from him. It's high pressure selling and he's not to be trusted.

It’s a sales trick not sexism. They did the same to my husband when we were looking for windows and insisted on me being home for the appointment. It’s so you can’t say ‘I need to talk to my wife/ husband …”