To not want child I don't know bunking in with us?

[Applecrumbleandcustatd]

We are going away soon to attend a wedding. Me, dh and our ds age 8. We are staying for a week as the wedding is quite far but in a great location so we decided to turn it into a holiday.

My sister and bil, and my sister's friend (I'll call her Judy) and Judy's dh and child, are also attending the wedding and will be staying in the same accommodation. It's a large B&B house with individual rooms/apartments.

I don't know Judy other than to say hello (this is relevant).

Dh and I booked our accommodation first, it's a one bed apartment with kitchen and sofa bed in the lounge for our son. We told my sister about it and she and her dh booked another of the apartments and decided to also make a few days of it too, fine.

Sister told Judy about the B&B and Judy then booked up the last room. Judy's room is only a double room rather than an apartment. My sister has told Judy that her dd can bunk in with us for the week and share the sofa bed with our ds. Also that Just can share our kitchen.

The dd is 12 or 13 afaik. We don't know Judy or the dd. I've spoken to Judy in passing but I've never even met the child.

I've said no but my sister is saying I'm being selfish as Judy hasn't got room and the dd will have to sleep on an airbed.

Why can’t they accommodate their friend and her offspring in their own apartment?

If Judys child is that age, don’t they count as a ‘person’ for occupation rates? Does the owner know about the air bed? I’m not sure this would be legal ( fire restrictions).

Em Judy and her daughter can sleep in their double room . Nope! Ope people are strange

Say no and keep saying no. I am fairly easy going but would put my foot down in this situation. Completely not on.

Maybe your sister should swap with Judy! It's very easy to be generous with someone else's stuff. Tell your sister to wind her neck in and stop making promises for other people to keep.

I don't understand why it's better for the daughter to bunk on a sofa bed with an 8 year old boy she doesn't know then sleep on an air bed or share a bed with her mum.

YANBU and it's a stupid idea.

Your user name is my favourite pudding. That aside, stick to your guns. Your sister has no right to suggest such an arrangement. If she is so bothered about the airbed she can give up her bed. You need to protect your son. At 8, he is too old to be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl, never mind one he doesn’t know.

why can’t your sister accommodate them?

Your sister is being ridiculous! Why can't Judy's DD share her double bed, or indeed take an airbed to go on the floor, nothing wrong with that? Or your sister could offer for HER friends DD to bunk in with them?

I think you need to be strong with your sister and point out there are at least three other options than the one she is trying to force on you! Why should you basically be babysitting someone elses kid on holiday?

Nope 🙅‍♀️

I can’t imagine the 12yo is thrilled with this proposed arrangement either.

i would not consider this arrangement either, no way.

I don't think my sister's apartment has a sofa bed.

I'm not sure because we all booked independently but I know that Judy has booked a double room for herself, her husband and daughter.

My sister is pushing it that it will be fun for the children and they can make friends. I think she's trying to push us all together as one big group. Not realistic as the children are different ages. Sister is always very pushy when she gets an idea

I've got no problem with Judy but we want space and privacy.

12 yo dd and 8 yo ds sharing a sofa bed?

Not a chance.

Ridiculous suggestion. Obvious solution is Judy and her daughter share her double bed.

I’m pretty sure the DD won’t want to sleep with strangers anyway!
this is a terrible idea for everyone!

Absolutely not. They can take an airbed.

Just keep saying no. It’s not appropriate anyway for 12yo dd to share with 8yo ds she doesn’t know.

Absolutely ridiculous and I would stand firm and say no.

I would also be judging Judy and her dh massively. Forget about sharing a bed with an 8 year old boy, they're apparently happy to send their 12/13 year old dd to sleep in the apartment belonging to an unknown man, her friends sisters dh. They don't know what he's like, if he'd be a risk to their dd or not.

Incredibly shit, poor, risky parenting on their part.

Absolutely no! At an absolute push I'd swap with your sister so that she has to accommodate Judy's child and you still have your own apartment, I bet she's less keen when she has to do it! Also Judy's daughter is definitely not going to want to share with an unknown family, and a bed with an unknown 8-year-old boy!

Just no.

Their daughter can’t share an actual bed with your son anyway, it’s clearly inappropriate. And they can use your sisters kitchen.

Doesn't really matter if they don't have a sofabed - if they have a sofa, it will be adequate for a single 8 year old!

Don’t do this, why would you want to do your own son out of his bed so some other kid can have it? Stick with no.

Absolutely not

”No, I’m afraid there is no point asking me again since I won’t change my mind. It’s entirely inappropriate and not what we want. Judy will need to change her accommodation plans or her child will need to sleep in an airbed. Please don’t ask again”

I would contact Judy and explain that this idea wont work .Your poor DD! A week sharing a bed with an 8 year old boy! Just tell her it wont work for you ,No offence

Ridiculous and inappropriate. There’s no way I’d make my 12yr old daughter share a bed with an 8yr old boy she doesn’t know! All sorts of absurd. Your sister IBVU!

I don't know why, but every day there's something on here that catches me off guard. I guess I'm really, really out of touch. Who offers up someone else's accommodation? Anyway, as others have said, you don't have to give a reason, just be clear that your accommodation isn't available for your sister to allocate to anyone, whether you know them or not doesn't even matter here. It's your choice to offer or not, and in this situation I agree I wouldn't agree to do this either. That poor kid being sent to sleep in a strangers accommodation. Who does that?