To not want child I don't know bunking in with us?

[Applecrumbleandcustatd]

We are going away soon to attend a wedding. Me, dh and our ds age 8. We are staying for a week as the wedding is quite far but in a great location so we decided to turn it into a holiday.

My sister and bil, and my sister's friend (I'll call her Judy) and Judy's dh and child, are also attending the wedding and will be staying in the same accommodation. It's a large B&B house with individual rooms/apartments.

I don't know Judy other than to say hello (this is relevant).

Dh and I booked our accommodation first, it's a one bed apartment with kitchen and sofa bed in the lounge for our son. We told my sister about it and she and her dh booked another of the apartments and decided to also make a few days of it too, fine.

Sister told Judy about the B&B and Judy then booked up the last room. Judy's room is only a double room rather than an apartment. My sister has told Judy that her dd can bunk in with us for the week and share the sofa bed with our ds. Also that Just can share our kitchen.

The dd is 12 or 13 afaik. We don't know Judy or the dd. I've spoken to Judy in passing but I've never even met the child.

I've said no but my sister is saying I'm being selfish as Judy hasn't got room and the dd will have to sleep on an airbed.

Ask where she will sleep. She can't share the sofa bed with you 8 year old son. Just say no, how rude is your sister? You didnt book to babysit another kid and share your kitchen I presume?

If her daughter was younger it would still be a terrible idea, but for different reasons.

But perhaps this is the best angle.

"Listen, sis. Quite apart from the fact that I have booked and paid for accommodation for my family and I do not want to share it with your friend and her family or be an unpaid babysitter for your friend's child, this is a terrible idea from a safeguarding perspective. I do not want to be in loco parents for someone else's child, particularly when I barely know the child or her parents. If anything happened to her, it would be my responsibility. I also think that a 12 year old and an 8 year old of the opposite sex are far too old to share a bed. It would be inappropriate for siblings or cousins to do this, let alone children who do not even know each other. The answer is no. Stop asking."

Who on earth would let their child share with a couple not well known to the child either?

What poor boundaries for that child.

I bet the dd hasn't even been consulted!!

Has your sister always been a bit batshit bonkers?

Eh what planet is your sister on?

Two kids who don't know one another sharing a bed? Children have thoughts and feelings can't imagine the girl would be happy with the idea either.

Big Fat No from me.

That's crazy. And poor Judy’s dd too to be made sleep with random people

Just ridiculous - keep saying ‘no’ OP

Don’t quote me but I’m pretty sure children of the opposite gender cannot share even a room after one of them is 10.

Judy and her DD can share a bed / use an air bed / share with your sister.

You are quite right to say no.

Is your sister always this nuts?

Well I can see by the replies that I'm not alone in thinking it's a stupid idea and that my sister is being cheeky.

I haven't spoke to Judy about any of this so to be honest she might think it's as much of a crazy idea as us. The idea seems to be coming from my sister who has form for being pushy.

I don't think that sister and bils apartment has a sofa bed but I suspect that sister's true motive is to push me, Judy the husbands and the children together so that we all become friends. I doubt sister would mind Judy sharing their kitchen she wants to force us together.

There is no rule or law about this.

I don't have a problem with her wanting you to be friends....but you need to speak directly to Judy and say I am really sorry but we aren't comfortable letting your DD stay with us.

Question 🙋‍♀️

Does Judy even agree with this bonkers plan or is your sister pushing the idea on her as well? I can’t imagine some mum saying “Oh sure go off and sleep with these strangers… we’ll be over to make breakfast at 9…what were their names again so when we see them in their jammies it’s not awkward”

@MinervaMcGonagallsCat you're right I’ve just checked and there isn’t. It’s just more that it’s frowned upon

This sounds like a Judy problem to me!

just say no OP

If Judy and her DH are even vaguely normal humans there’s no way they’d push their thirteen year old daughter to share a bed with an unknown 8 year old.

It sounds like your sister doesn’t have children?

How would that work in families who have more children than bedrooms?

Absolutely not. Judy's sleeping arrangements are not your problem and your sister can keep her beak out.

What?

Please don't bring having children or not into this.

I don't have children but think that the OPs sister is being ridiculous.

Your sister needs to wind her neck in. There's absolutely NO chance a 12/13 year old girl will have any interest in being friends with an 8 year old boy never mind sharing a sofa bed with him. My 14 year old isn't even interested in the same things as her 11 year old brother. So so weird from your sister to think she has any right to put this on you. I'd just message your sister and say "Youl have to find someone else to accommodate Judy's daughter as it isn't an option for us."

It’d be a no from me. Why would Judy even be happy with her child sleeping with another child that they both barely know? It’s irresponsible

@shoppingshamed it doesn’t

I beg your pardon ?! What on gods green earth is your sister on ?!
does she have children of her own ? Aside from being outrageously presumptive and cheeky … it’s also highly inappropriate.
my 13 year old daughter would be beside herself if I told her she was sharing a sofa bed with an 8 year old boy .. in a strangers room … I’m afraid my response would be …. F**ck off ! Right after I’d finished laughing at her ridiculous suggestion