To not want child I don't know bunking in with us?

[Applecrumbleandcustatd]

We are going away soon to attend a wedding. Me, dh and our ds age 8. We are staying for a week as the wedding is quite far but in a great location so we decided to turn it into a holiday.

My sister and bil, and my sister's friend (I'll call her Judy) and Judy's dh and child, are also attending the wedding and will be staying in the same accommodation. It's a large B&B house with individual rooms/apartments.

I don't know Judy other than to say hello (this is relevant).

Dh and I booked our accommodation first, it's a one bed apartment with kitchen and sofa bed in the lounge for our son. We told my sister about it and she and her dh booked another of the apartments and decided to also make a few days of it too, fine.

Sister told Judy about the B&B and Judy then booked up the last room. Judy's room is only a double room rather than an apartment. My sister has told Judy that her dd can bunk in with us for the week and share the sofa bed with our ds. Also that Just can share our kitchen.

The dd is 12 or 13 afaik. We don't know Judy or the dd. I've spoken to Judy in passing but I've never even met the child.

I've said no but my sister is saying I'm being selfish as Judy hasn't got room and the dd will have to sleep on an airbed.

Glad it all worked out and you kept your nerve OP.

On another note, I didn't know you could change names mid thread anymore??? What did I miss when I woke up haha. 😴

I dont think you can either @Applecrumbleandcustatd must have two different accounts which is going to lead to posts from people who haven't seen the other account

Sorry name change fail.

I name changed so that this isn't linked to any of my other posting history but I've confused myself.

also said that I didn't ask Judy and her family to book into the same place so didn't want to get involved, and she seemed to completely change her tone then and has backed off. In future I will be wiser and keep things to myself because it seems we can't be without drama.

Wow!

Well done!

You didn't really give her any wiggle room there!

It's generally a mistake to get drawn in & make suggestions isn't it?

You've got your pies & crumbles mixed up😂

Your sister is batshit for even suggesting this in the first place.

So glad you said no. Your poor DS!!

Start saying no more often.

And don't let them use your kitchen either.

I can't help but wonder if Judy knew there was only 1 room left which wasn't suitable but your Dsis told her to book it and that you were fine with them sharing your facilities.

Maybe they've been to other events where her DD has happily shared a bed so it's not to odd to them.

Dare say you'll bump into Judy at the wedding and hear her side, if there's one to be told.

Enjoy the day and the rest of your stay while there.
Go off as a family and when it suits you stick to your own itinerary if you have one.

Yes @Applecrumbleandcustatd please let us know what Judy has to say when you see her at the wedding x

Just pointing out that I was quoting another poster there...

My apologies, my comment was meant for poster, 'oldperson' (i think) I am old but I thought her comment was daft.

@GoldEagle I wouldn't take any notice of OldPerson. They are on another thread I am on and have some really strange and annoying opinions.

Ah, just had a look at OldPerson. I see what you mean, it was an 'unusual' idea stream in terms of the content of the quotes. It's not for me to judge though; either the professed attitudes and ideas or even whether the person is actually 'old'.

I guess common sense to one person seems wildly off the mark to another. But I would say that, on this stream, overall, the attitudes of all the posters were very, very similar. I'm glad it's resolved and sorry she the OP had to go through this, through no fault of her own.

And you certainly don't need to share your kitchen with Judy, as your sister has a kitchen she can share with her friend.

For me it is the intrusion on your family holiday, rather than the appropriateness or otherwise of them sharing.

Just say we specially booked the whole week to have a family holiday with quality time together. Having an extra child in the mix does not work for you.

If your sister has an apartment booked too then surely there is a sofa bed in there; she can either swap with Judy for the double room or host the 12 year old on their sofa bed.

Not sure it's true as on scout camp kids of opposite sex can share tents as long as they're all happy with the arrangement and there is private space for changing and washing etc.

Children cannot possibly say they are happy to disregard safeguarding rules.

Imagine trying to defend that in court when the baby's due in a month "Yes the kids were happy with the arrangement for them to share a tent"

It's not safeguarding rules

Other children wouldn’t necessarily be my first concern when it comes to sending my child on a trip with scouts (no fucking way)

There is no way a 12 year old boy should be sharing a sofa bed with a young girl they dont know. It is outrageous for them to suggest this as well as the other general inconvenience. What entitled *. Tell them no and use the bed sharing as the main excuse.

The boy is 8, the girl is 12.

This here! This solves the problem. Get your sister to swap with her mate Judy. There is no way I'd let a kid I'd never met, get in bed with my little boy. Nope. Not happening.

What "safeguarding rules" are you referring to?

Well if its not written in Safe guarding rules, the risks of boys and girls sharing should at least make the risk assessment.
Both the risk of abuse happening and the risk of consensual sex.

You can't let children decide to disregard rules that are there to protect them. Because they are happy to share a tent.

And when I say tent ⛺️ I mean small 2/3 man tent or tent pod section of a bigger tent.

Scout leaders would have to follow safe guarding rules for children and do safe guarding training…

@ChesterDrawz Groups involving children should have a child policy and safeguarding policy in place that they and all involved have to agree to.