To not want child I don't know bunking in with us?

[Applecrumbleandcustatd]

We are going away soon to attend a wedding. Me, dh and our ds age 8. We are staying for a week as the wedding is quite far but in a great location so we decided to turn it into a holiday.

My sister and bil, and my sister's friend (I'll call her Judy) and Judy's dh and child, are also attending the wedding and will be staying in the same accommodation. It's a large B&B house with individual rooms/apartments.

I don't know Judy other than to say hello (this is relevant).

Dh and I booked our accommodation first, it's a one bed apartment with kitchen and sofa bed in the lounge for our son. We told my sister about it and she and her dh booked another of the apartments and decided to also make a few days of it too, fine.

Sister told Judy about the B&B and Judy then booked up the last room. Judy's room is only a double room rather than an apartment. My sister has told Judy that her dd can bunk in with us for the week and share the sofa bed with our ds. Also that Just can share our kitchen.

The dd is 12 or 13 afaik. We don't know Judy or the dd. I've spoken to Judy in passing but I've never even met the child.

I've said no but my sister is saying I'm being selfish as Judy hasn't got room and the dd will have to sleep on an airbed.

Don't do something you're uncomfortable with just to appease your sister... let her throw a strop, she's the one in the wrong!

Judy is probably blissfully unaware of your DSis crazy plan.

Presumably booking accommodation to fit her family is her problem. I wouldn’t book a hotel room that didn’t have space for my kids and then expect they could just share some other family’s room!

Very true!

Ah but now she's involving your son in her weirdness so time to put your foot down. Just tell her it is inappropriate for your son and her friends daughter to share a bed at their ages. If anyone brings it up including Judy, just say "can you believe she suggested that?! So weird" and act oblivious to any awkwardness. It's the only way and might just teach your sister a lesson.

Edited to add, that's if Judy says anything or there is any awkwardness. I doubt there will be, this is just how your sister makes you feel to get her own way.

Apart from the fact that you should absolutely not have to have share your apartment with someone else's child... who the hell thinks it's OK to have their 12/13-year-old daughter not only sharing accommodation with complete strangers, but also sleeping in the same bed as their 8-year-old son? Does this not strike Judy and your sister as being quite weird for literally everyone concerned?

Me personally I would be wanting space from my sister as well and if I could get a refund I would be booking an apartment somewhere else

Does Judy know all this? Like I wouldn’t let my 11 year old sleep in a bed with a random little boy and nor would she agree with it. I also wouldn’t be comfortable with her being in an apartment where I didn’t know the people. Like that is fairly basic parenting- it would be rare that someone would agree to this.

Also they would probably prefer to share a kitchen with your sister rather than with someone they don’t know.

Not a chance would I let my child sleep in a bed with an unknown child of the opposite sex. Totally inappropriate.

This would be the hardest and easiest no from me. Totally inappropriate all round from you being responsible for caring for a strangers child all week at night to a 12 year old and an 8 year old of the opposite sex having to share a bed. Just wrong and weird for your DD. Tell your sister to sort her friend out and leave you out of the arrangements. Cheeky as fuck.

Edit: Sorry, I meant your DS sharing with her DD but if I was Judy I would be equally as outraged by this suggestion.

It's time to put a stop to your DSis dictating what you can and can't do with your life, don't let it be repeated towards your DS.
Take charge of your own life and remember it may be a family wedding but don't let it turn into a family holiday where your DSis dictates how spend it.

Even if they were both younger, it would still be bloody weird because they are complete strangers to one another.

Most kids, of any age, absolutely do not want to share a bed for several nights with a kid they've never met, and may not even like. Kids aren't just automatically comfortable around one another just because they're kids.

Just no!

Is Judy's husband coming that DD can't sleep in the same bed as her mum?

I doubt Judy and her daughter will be keen either.

Your sister sounds like a pain!!

And to remind again, its not just about children feeling uncomfortable (as if thats not bad enough), its about safeguarding. Why would a parent put their child in a BEDROOM with 2 adults she barely knows?

Maybe Judy's DD would like a single room all to herself. Somewhere to get away from OP's crazy sister

Judy not having anything but an air mattress is Judy's problem. TBH I wouldnr be sharing my kitchen either.

Yes it sounds as though it's the 3 of them in a double room. Judy, her husband and their daughter.

I've been dragged into something that's got absolutely naff all to do with me.

I didnt realise there was also a kitchen element to this.

No to the kitchen too.

In fact, OP is it too late to book a local travelodge type place, no spare space, no kitchen facilities.

Just say no. They should either have booked a family room or a separate room for their DD.

I'm surprised the B&B have allowed the 3 of them in one room if there is only a double bed, especially as child is 12

My 13 year old dd would not want to share a sofa bed with your 8 year old ds. I would be amazed if Judy, her DH or her DD would even want this idea. I would literally laugh at your sister, whilst making it very clear that's a no.

I'm sure Judy's 13 year old DD will not want to share a bed with a strange young boys. They will have factored in an airbed.

Tell your sister to back off.

I think many families have the sort of dynamics, grown from childhood that extend into adulthood where you don't realise you've agreed to something or whatever, and then it's a done deal. Then you step back and realise it's all wrong.

I've got a sister who likes to be in charge. Mostly it's fine - we let her get on with it, I quite like being told what time and where I need to be, and what I need to bring - saves me making decisions. It's easier to just go along with it.
Sometimes it's not fine but you haven't realised in time.

I hate it when people do this. So inappropriate.

As the mum of a nearly 11yo I highly doubt this poor kid wants to bunk with strangers.