To not want child I don't know bunking in with us?

[Applecrumbleandcustatd]

We are going away soon to attend a wedding. Me, dh and our ds age 8. We are staying for a week as the wedding is quite far but in a great location so we decided to turn it into a holiday.

My sister and bil, and my sister's friend (I'll call her Judy) and Judy's dh and child, are also attending the wedding and will be staying in the same accommodation. It's a large B&B house with individual rooms/apartments.

I don't know Judy other than to say hello (this is relevant).

Dh and I booked our accommodation first, it's a one bed apartment with kitchen and sofa bed in the lounge for our son. We told my sister about it and she and her dh booked another of the apartments and decided to also make a few days of it too, fine.

Sister told Judy about the B&B and Judy then booked up the last room. Judy's room is only a double room rather than an apartment. My sister has told Judy that her dd can bunk in with us for the week and share the sofa bed with our ds. Also that Just can share our kitchen.

The dd is 12 or 13 afaik. We don't know Judy or the dd. I've spoken to Judy in passing but I've never even met the child.

I've said no but my sister is saying I'm being selfish as Judy hasn't got room and the dd will have to sleep on an airbed.

Just say no and dont ask again.

I'm guessing your sister doesn't have children. Maybe she and her husband could swap, give the apartment to Judy and your sister and husband go in the double room as they don't need the apartment.
Don't give in to your sister, she sounds like a pita

Erm, no, that's insane.

If your sister has promised something to Judy that was not within her gift, that is her problem to resolve.

If I were Judy I wouldn't want my 12 year old daughter sharing a sofa bed with a random 8 year old boy in an apartment I wasn't even staying in either.

Just tell her it's not happening and she will embarrass herself and Jidy if she doesn't shit up and sort out the mess she is making because you won't cave on the day our of embarrassment.

Also, am I missing something here, or does your sister have the same kind of apartment you have, for just her and her husband?

Even if she doesn't want to swap her apartment for Judy's double room, why has she offered Judy's DD half a sofa bed in your apartment rather than a whole sofa bed in her own apartment?

No, no and thrice no!

Cheeky fucker.

Yanbu and it's perfectly ok to stick to your guns and keep saying no. Judy has no right to expect you to share your holiday accommodation. Of course she can't offload her child on you and use your private kitchen. What a ridiculous thing to suggest.

Your sister and BIL have an apartment too so Judy can presumably use their kitchen but her DD will need to sleep in the room Judy has booked.

Does Judy actually know of your DSis plans?
No one has the right to offer up what's not theirs.

Judy has know for some 12/13 years that she's has a DD and should have booked accommodation to suit 3 people.

And I'd also say no to the sharing of the kitchen area.

If it was a complex where you ordered food/drink and paid at the end of your stay I'm sure your DSis would have something to say if you'd put all your items on her tab.

Then she can get Judy to bring a blow up bed and put it in HER loungeroom. She doesn't get to offer your accommodation up, that's CF territory and I wouldn't expect my 8 year old to share with some strangers child.
ETA: why is she offering your kitchen and not her own? Its easy to be generous with other people's possessions, she gets the buzz from offering and figure's she can guilt you into a yes. Say no, give no reason no excuse, and say no til she gets it.

Keep saying no. Apart from it being rude to you and your family from yous sister, that poor kid. 12 year old me would have died at the thought of being in nightwear around people I didn't know, sharing a bed with a boy I didn't know, scared I'd get my period while bunking with people I didn't know. Why isn't Judy thinking about her kid in all of this?!

Your sister really thinks a teenaged girl would want to not only 'make friends' but also share a bed with an 8yo boy?

Judy knew how many people they need to fit in the room and was happy with it.

Your sister is batshit. You dont go round making promises for other people. If your sister wants to help Judy and her family that’s great, let her crack on. You don’t even know her!

You are not being unreasonable OP. Not appropriate at all. Judy shouldn't have booked a bedroom with a double bed if she knew there were 3 people!

If your children were close friends or cousins etc it would be a bit different but that's a really weird insistence on your sisters part! An 8 year old boy and a teenage girl he's never met being forced to share a bed ...? Wtf

Why isn’t the DD sharing with her mum? Much more appropriate than an 8yr old boy she doesn’t know. That’s very inappropriate

I’ve just started saying “oh, no, we won’t be doing that” with a small, bewildering, smile.

This is Judy's fault for not booking adequate accommodation. Say for the last time no, won't be happening and refuse to discuss further.

There is no way I'd do this. The children are too old to sleep with the opposite sex. If they were both younger it would be different. Stick to your guns and stop appeasing your sister. She's out of line.

What a bloody ridiculous idea.

Putting a 13 year old girl in a bed with an 8 year old boy in an apartment with people she doesn’t even know!!!!!!

I can’t imagine Judy or her daughter being happy with this either.

Your sister needs to stop interfering and Judy needs to get her own shit together.

YANBU. Your sister is being totally mad and obviously gives zero shits about what’s best for you or your kids (or Judy’s kid!).

How strange

I wouldn’t be worried about the kids sharing a bed. I’d be worried about an adult male sharing a room with a 13 year old girl who he doesn’t know. What if she sees him naked, or vice versa? Totally inappropriate and could lead to some nasty accusations which could easily blow up.

Suggest a blow up air mattress for the floor in Judys room. Put your foot down op, this is not on

My DD would be mortified at the idea of sharing with a boy and scared staying with someone she didn't know well. If I was Judy I would have said no way. Its pretty poor form she wants to do this.

I wouldn't entertain the idea for a second more, what an odd 'solution' for them to have come up with.

“My son is not sleeping in a bed with a teenage girl he does not know and I won’t be discussing it again. Please make sure Judy is aware of this before the holiday to avoid you having to set her straight when you get there”.