Still out 14 hours later on a BH

[OneWildLemonSnake]

AIBU.....
Me and my partner have been together 5 years. It's quite toxic and he has issues when he drinks with taking other substances, cheating and just being a general git!
It was my daughters birthday this weekend (not his child) and he had the hump we were going out today for the day.
He got up and left the house at 9am, hardly spoke to me.
We left at about 12 and came home around 630pm, he still wasn't home.
She has now gone to her dads, and he still isn't home, he hasn't messaged me at all today - its now 1030pm so almost 14 hours later.
He also has to get up for work at 4am, I know he is out drinking and probably taking drugs.
AIBU to think he's out of order for not even messaging me to say if he is coming home or not and safe?
I also have to get up for work, but he has taken the car I :-(

Everyone is so high and mighty in these comments after she has repeatedly explained herself. Mumsnets really is full of judgy know it alls who actually have no idea what some of us have to go through in the real world when they’re posting that their 100 grand a year income isn’t enough or asking to see the nicest ie most expensive wallpaper you’ve seen when the rest of us are getting it for b&m, get a grip of the reality people actually face!

I could literally of wrote this post myself, I go through it day in day out OP, well done on telling him to go I wish I was strong enough. People are so quick to judge they forget this is actually abuse and it’s not always as easy as telling someone to leave. I’m so proud of you! Maybe one day someone can say that back to me. Good luck with your future I hope it brings you everything you deserve and more x

I apologise for not reading the full thread and answering your initial post belatedly.

However, my post was in support of you and your worth.

Your response was spiteful and personal and therefore, I suspect you are more suited than I previously gave you credit for.

Good luck.

I hope she is 25, seems odd to say she's now gone to her dads when she's an adult with her own home.

Good luck in getting rid, he's a selfish immature bastard.

You can do better op.

Her daughter was 20 when they first met. Don't be ridiculous.

I've called you unreasonable, not in the context of this particular instance but because why in the name of holy fuckery were you still with this absolute waste of space, oxygen, atomic particles? Then I read your posts and I'm glad you've kicked him out. I hope that in the future you realise that you are worth so much more than a toxic relationship with an arsehole. The rest of it's all a bit mad with people failing to understand that your daughter is an adult who doesn't live at home - yes, I was concerned when I read the opening post, but a little further reading is all that's needed especially when a thread gets quite long.

Anyway, good work and value yourself more in the future because seriously you could be the nicest person in the world or an absolute arsehole and even if you were the latter you wouldn't deserve this. No one does.

I would be impacted if my mum had lived with this arsehole for 5 years, because she will know her mum is in an awful relationship

Fuck me, this place can be toxic sometimes. Women are not responsible for shit men behaving like shit men. And even if OP's daughter was 5 rather than 25 she still wouldn't be responsible for his shit behaviour.

Well done for getting rid OP. Onwards and upwards and all that.

No it wasn't in support at all , the "would any sane person" but was just cuntish

Ignoring all the people who are unable to read past the first post .

i am pleased to read you updates .

Has he actually left yet ?

good luck car shopping and new chapter of your life

Good job we're not talking about you then @crumblingschools although if you want to discuss a problematic childhood then I'm sure if you start a thread you'll get lots of support.

Get rid. Druggies are wankers

Well done OP. I'm sorry you have had to suffer such judgemental and unhelpful comments from an absolute shower of idiots unable to even read the first post.

I hope there won't need to be a follow up thread but if there is I suggest you post in Relationships instead. Not entirely idiot proof but there are fewer drive through wankers who can't read than in AIBU.

@OneWildLemonSnake - did he pack his stuff and go?

When people immediately write things like, "your ex should sue for custody", "you are ruining your young daughter's life", "don't ever leave him alone with her", etc. etc. etc.; they are not helping. Instead, they are jumping down the OPs throat with their holier than thou crap, even though they would not look so idiotic if they bothered to read the OP's posts.

Some people look way too forward to castigating and denigrating people and not helping one damn bit.

So you think a 25 year old cannot go to visit their Dad when the parents live separately?? That them having their own home is apparently an impediment to that??

That's just bizarre thinking.

Get Rid of this loser fast!

Read the ‘its quite toxic’ sentence and then didn’t read anymore. I have no idea why either of you choose to be in this relationship.

Gosh OP congratulations on decisive action. I hope he leaves without causing you too much grief one way or the other. You have all weekend to settle into your new life without this hassle in your life!

I hope your large family of toddlers will get over the trauma eventually 🤣

Thankyou!
And mine tries to avoid the situation/subject/takes no responsibility in the situation.
I saw and heard my mother get treated live s* and i allowed the same for myself.

@ChinnyChin2 😂😂😂😂 I have only just read your quote. Omg 😂 I don't know where I got the final age from 🤦‍♀️ but when I saw the 25-5 I was laughing my head off.

Why are you allowing this man around your child?

Maybe read the thread - her daughter is 25 and she kicked him out a month ago.

Classic mn. Read the op. Make the same comment as 200 people and then smug off.

I'll save the op the bother

1. her darling little daughter is in fact 25 and owns her own home
2. The man puts on a great front in front of others, including the little daughter
3. she kicked his arse into touch a month ago.

I rest my case, your witness.

Well done for giving the man his marching orders. Your life will be better from now on.

Try contracting the thread to read OP's posts.

The "child" is 25 with her own home. The man was kicked out a few weeks ago too.

This is the thread where someone was also suggesting that the "child's" father should apply for full custody - of a 25 year old! Ridiculous!