Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Still out 14 hours later on a BH

400 replies

OneWildLemonSnake · 01/04/2024 22:25

AIBU.....
Me and my partner have been together 5 years. It's quite toxic and he has issues when he drinks with taking other substances, cheating and just being a general git!
It was my daughters birthday this weekend (not his child) and he had the hump we were going out today for the day.
He got up and left the house at 9am, hardly spoke to me.
We left at about 12 and came home around 630pm, he still wasn't home.
She has now gone to her dads, and he still isn't home, he hasn't messaged me at all today - its now 1030pm so almost 14 hours later.
He also has to get up for work at 4am, I know he is out drinking and probably taking drugs.
AIBU to think he's out of order for not even messaging me to say if he is coming home or not and safe?
I also have to get up for work, but he has taken the car I :-(

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 02/04/2024 14:34

JFDIYOLO · 02/04/2024 14:30

You were being unreasonable for staying with this shit who treated you this way. Good to see your updates.

Edited

You are yet another irritating person who hasn't bothered to read the thread .

OP has chucked him out.

Her DD is 25, not a child. She has her own home and doesn't live with OP.

Those are the facts, which have been made clear time and time again by OP.

Brush up on your comprehension skills. I suggest to anyone reading your post that they press on edit so that they can see your editing history on it. That is not hidden however much you want it to be.

SpringleDingle · 02/04/2024 14:39

Nice job on getting shot of this loser... I hope he goes quietly. Reltionships board can support you in the next weeks and months of getting through separating and recovering!

BuddyBuddyBumBum · 02/04/2024 14:46

Good for you, OP! Your life will be much more peaceful without this arsehole around. I hope he slings his hook without too much bother ❤️

getsomehelp · 02/04/2024 14:48

Sorry you were given such a hard time by certain posters!
Top marks for being decisive, not backing down & booting him out.
Hoorrah, you are a strong woman !

Mmpip · 02/04/2024 15:05

You are being unreasonable for still being with this excuse for a man.....
Don't put yourself or your child through any more torment.
Christ why are women so desperate 🙄

Original poster
OneWildLemonSnake · 02/04/2024 15:07

Mmpip · 02/04/2024 15:05

You are being unreasonable for still being with this excuse for a man.....
Don't put yourself or your child through any more torment.
Christ why are women so desperate 🙄

Oh read the post you idiot! Bore off!

OP posts:
Mmpip · 02/04/2024 15:08

Just noticed your update...Good for you and stay strong....

featherlampshade · 02/04/2024 15:08

Why would anyone stand for this shite?!
You need to get some perspective here and tell that idiot to never come back

Original poster
OneWildLemonSnake · 02/04/2024 15:15

featherlampshade · 02/04/2024 15:08

Why would anyone stand for this shite?!
You need to get some perspective here and tell that idiot to never come back

read the post

OP posts:
daydreamingnightowl · 02/04/2024 15:16

I've never felt so frustrated reading through a thread that apparently the majority haven't.

OP well done, stay strong and go live your best life. You got this!

Newbie1011 · 02/04/2024 15:17

L

Dinoswearunderpants · 02/04/2024 15:24

Well done for getting rid of him OP.

TakingAMenopause · 02/04/2024 15:24

Dear everyone on this thread who hasn't RTFT,

It is FREE to sign up to MN for the 'see all' OP posts.

For the love of all that is holy and good please PLEASE read the FUCKING UPDATES BEFORE YOU COMMENT AND LOOK LIKE A NUMPTY.

Caps deliberate. Yeah. #saidwhatisaid 😂

Fernticket · 02/04/2024 15:31

If I were your DDs father and found out that her mother's DP was drinking and doing drugs, I would be applying for full custody of her.

eastereggsrock · 02/04/2024 15:33

@Fernticket

Good luck with getting custody of a 25yo with their own house 🤣🤣

Original poster
OneWildLemonSnake · 02/04/2024 15:34

Fernticket · 02/04/2024 15:31

If I were your DDs father and found out that her mother's DP was drinking and doing drugs, I would be applying for full custody of her.

And if I were you I would read the full post!
English probably not your strongest point as much as being judgemental - oh to be perfect!!
Jog on idiot!!

OP posts:
Original poster
OneWildLemonSnake · 02/04/2024 15:39

eastereggsrock · 02/04/2024 15:33

@Fernticket

Good luck with getting custody of a 25yo with their own house 🤣🤣

Thank you !

OP posts:
Mmpip · 02/04/2024 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TeacherHarri · 02/04/2024 15:43

You are completely unreasonable being with this douche in the first place. Read back how you have described him and ask yourself, would any sane person choose to be with a man like this? If he’s still not home, use this time to pack his bags.

JFDIYOLO · 02/04/2024 15:48

Hello OP, so sorry I read your original post, and gave my response before I'd read the whole thread!

After reading it and picking up on all the updates I've edited it.

I was thinking of just asking for it to be removed but decided to leave it on.

All the best for the future - take care of yourselves.

TakingAMenopause · 02/04/2024 15:50

TeacherHarri · 02/04/2024 15:43

You are completely unreasonable being with this douche in the first place. Read back how you have described him and ask yourself, would any sane person choose to be with a man like this? If he’s still not home, use this time to pack his bags.

God, I hope you aren't actually a teacher.

OP will read back her posts if you read the full thread.

😉

RampantIvy · 02/04/2024 15:51

TeacherHarri · 02/04/2024 15:43

You are completely unreasonable being with this douche in the first place. Read back how you have described him and ask yourself, would any sane person choose to be with a man like this? If he’s still not home, use this time to pack his bags.

Can I suggest that you select "See All" on the OP's first post, and you will see from all of her updates that she has taken on board the advice she has been given and kicked him out.

@OneWildLemonSnake good luck with finding a car.

Original poster
OneWildLemonSnake · 02/04/2024 15:52

TakingAMenopause · 02/04/2024 15:50

God, I hope you aren't actually a teacher.

OP will read back her posts if you read the full thread.

😉

Show quote history

I was going to reply exactly the same thing!!
Worrying if they are!!!

OP posts:
AncoraAmarena · 02/04/2024 16:02

Fuck my life, I swear people are trolling you @OneWildLemonSnake

Either that or they are outstandingly rude by rushing to give their oh-so-valuable opinion before reading your posts.

Ignore the idiots and good for you for taking swift action today.

Startingoverinmy30s · 02/04/2024 16:05

@OneWildLemonSnake well done on telling him to leave!! It’s easy for other people to ask why you have put up with this or accuse you of setting the bar low….people like your ex mostly don’t start out behaving like this and over time grind down your confidence and drive away friends and family. It takes courage to say enough and end things even when it’s a horrible and toxic relationship. This is the start of the rest of your life without this horrible man. I hope he goes quietly, please have someone with you if you can for support or be ready to call the police and make sure to get your key back/change the locks.
Good luck with buying a car as well!!