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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky Fckers

410 replies

thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 20:43

I had a work trip on mon and Tue

Tue was a 12 hour day and was up since 4 working

My friend text at 9.30pm to let me know she needed to drop her soon uo at 8am
The next fcking day to be looked after

I text back that I was not even home yet

She didn't respond

7.40am next day knock on door
She dropped her son off

I was so angry/tired/ bewildered to go bat shit

SHE DIDNT TEXT AFTER TO EVEN SAY SORRY OR TO THANK me

I'm so done with letting this shit happen

Sorry I just need to vent

Next time she asks I need a firm response

No doesn't seem to work as she has been known to come up anyway and say she has no one

I'm a single parent and I work from home

She has dropped her kids to me many times while I work from home

Fcking cheek

She has many sister in laws who can step in wt f is she still as this utter shit

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 29/03/2024 20:44

If you don't want this arrangement then you need to communicate. It's happening because you've allowed it.

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 20:44

Just to add she can also pay for childcare but chooses not to

She and HER HUSBAND work full time

I'm a single parent

I clearly have MUG all over my face at this stage

I just can not get over the cheeky Fckers around

OP posts:
Howaboutthats · 29/03/2024 20:45

Don't answer the door. Block her number.

Rattai · 29/03/2024 20:45

Why did you answer the door??

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 20:45

My response was

I am still on the tarmac the plane has not taken off

I'm not home yet

That's all I said

She did not respond.

She sent him less than 12 hours later

She gave less than 12 hours notice

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 20:46

I should not have answered the door

True

And yes I'm a fcking softy

Right now I'm so pissed off with her

I need to work 10-12 hour days to pay the current debt I'm in

Fck that

Her kids are not my responsibility

OP posts:
Rattai · 29/03/2024 20:48

Tell her now not to ask again

GreyBlackLove · 29/03/2024 20:48

You need to say no. She made an unreasonable ask, you responded with a travel update.

Say no next time.

OVienna · 29/03/2024 20:48

I am so sorry. Don't answer the door. She's a cheeky cu**.

Brenna24 · 29/03/2024 20:48

You didn't actually say that you couldn't do it, just that your plane was on the tarmac. Next time the answer is "sorry, I am not able to look after them tomorrow." Then you don't answer the door.

Purplecatshopaholic · 29/03/2024 20:48

Don’t tell us, tell her! She’s a total CF, you need to say No and mean it.

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 20:49

Rattai · 29/03/2024 20:48

Tell her now not to ask again

Yes

How to phrase this please

Text now and say I have no more slots for her to do this and it's not fair??

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 29/03/2024 20:49

You don't say no, though do you?

You just do it.

So stop doing it.

Mumof1andacat · 29/03/2024 20:50

You just say no that you are not able to. Done.

SummerGardener · 29/03/2024 20:51

Your message should have read:

I am still on the tarmac the plane has not taken off

I'm not home yet

I can't look after him tomorrow, you'll need to make other arrangements

colourfulcrochet · 29/03/2024 20:51

Just block her and be done with it. And learn to be clear in your communication with firm boundaries. You'll be happier for it.

CavalierApproach · 29/03/2024 20:51

"No, that doesn't work for me."

If she asks why not, don't engage. Keep saying it doesn't work for you. Don't be tempted to say "sorry"

ByUmberViewer · 29/03/2024 20:53

Your response was very odd. Instead of saying no you told her the plane was still on the tarmac.

When she asks just say no sorry I can't help you this time.

It's ok if she sends another text. and another and another and another. It's ok if she gets the last word. It doesn't matter what she does or says after you've said no because you've said no.

And as others have said, don't answer the door.

BMW6 · 29/03/2024 20:54

Just text her and tell her that she has gone too far and you will NOT be doing anything for her again.

Tell her to Fuck Off for herself.

If she drops her child round when you've said No then ring the Police and report her for child abandonment.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 29/03/2024 20:54

Dear X

Your dependency on my availability for childcare has become overwhelming. I'm afraid I will not be doing any further care for you from now on. Please do not insist further or you will burn a bridge.

Rattai · 29/03/2024 20:55

Dear X
I'm no longer offering free child care
Please dont mbarrass either of us by asking again

Mnk711 · 29/03/2024 20:56

I would just message and say- I'm disappointed that you dropped your son off when I had just gotten back from a work trip and was clearly completely exhausted. In the past I've been happy to help but I am now no longer in a position to do so due to my working hours. Please don't ask me to help any more as I can't.' And leave it at that. Any begging etc just say I'm sorry, I've made my position clear. And repeat ad nauseum. Don't answer door if she knocks.

Londonrach1 · 29/03/2024 20:57

Don't answer the door! You letting her walk over you. Report her to social services as abandoned her son. She won't be your friend after that so problem solved. Hope you got some sleep

Womblingmerrily · 29/03/2024 20:57

She walks all over you because you lay down and let her.

Block her number. She is not a friend. You are her unpaid servant.

Mnk711 · 29/03/2024 20:57

Rattai · 29/03/2024 20:55

Dear X
I'm no longer offering free child care
Please dont mbarrass either of us by asking again

Though i also like @Rattai 's suggestion if you'd consider doing it for money. But that risks her developing an even greater sense of entitlement.