Cheeky Fckers

[thisisasurvivor]

I had a work trip on mon and Tue

Tue was a 12 hour day and was up since 4 working

My friend text at 9.30pm to let me know she needed to drop her soon uo at 8am
The next fcking day to be looked after

I text back that I was not even home yet

She didn't respond

7.40am next day knock on door
She dropped her son off

I was so angry/tired/ bewildered to go bat shit

SHE DIDNT TEXT AFTER TO EVEN SAY SORRY OR TO THANK me

I'm so done with letting this shit happen

Sorry I just need to vent

Next time she asks I need a firm response

No doesn't seem to work as she has been known to come up anyway and say she has no one

I'm a single parent and I work from home

She has dropped her kids to me many times while I work from home

Fcking cheek

She has many sister in laws who can step in wt f is she still as this utter shit

She is NOT your friend, she is a user- end of.

I would not dream of treating my friends this way.
People will continue to treat you as you allow them to. Either tell her that this friendship is too one sided and you are not providing child care any more, or if you can't say it to her face, then email her.

If you can't face doing that, then delete and block and don't answer the door to her.

But you will probably feel a lot better if you can text her and say that's it, you are done with being used, real friends don't do this so please do not contact me again.

There is nothing like standing up for yourself to make you feel better.

Actually that's odd, I was going to say that I'd feel so annoyed at having a child on my doorstep when I was working/shattered/stressed that I would have been tempted to do this!

Tell her you can't provide unpaid childcare anymore. I bet you're one on the long list of people she takes advantage of. Tight arses can pay for their own childcare! Like another poster says, if she dares to drop her child off unannounced again, call the police.

"Here is the message I have wanted to send for ages but didnt know how to.

DO NOT expect me to look after any of your kids anymore. DO NOT railroad me and think that you leave me with no choice. I WILL NOT answer the door and what happens to your child/ren after that is on you, not me. Pay for childcare you fucking cheapskate. And in case you think that you can make me change my mind, you can't. You will be blocked the second after I hit send. Have a nice life"

OP I apologise in advance if this sounds harsh. But grow a backbone and just say No.
You seem to be someone who uses 5 sentences when 1 word will do. If you don't clearly state No when she asks but just detail your itinerary then you are leaving your friend open to take advantage.
A firm No on the day and now a text saying you won't be providing childcare in future, block number, end of. Job done.

You’re being used. What an awful woman.

Fuck her off, you’ll feel fantastic afterwards.

That’s not a no, OP. That’s just side information to a cheeky fucker.

You need to clearly communicate that this doesn’t work and is not possible for you.
Tell your friend she needs to find a new arrangement for childcare. You WORK during the day. This is not compatible with your working life. You need to be clear so that she doesn’t bring her DC around at all. Her childcare is NOT your problem.
It is in your hands.

This!

Don't say no more slots, it sounds like your a childminding service!
Text today to say 'due to workload you are now unable to take her kid. Things are just too hectic right now, as I'm sure you understand.'
To keep it friendly you could add 'Let's go for a drink one evening when we are less busy without the kids to catch up.'

Once you get the msg across loud and clear you won't see her for dust... wouldn't be a bad thing 100% user.

@thisisasurvivor how. Did it get to a point where she just tells you he's coming? She doesn't ask if you'd be able ho have him?

Tell her you will not answer the door if she drops her dc off.
And if necessary ring social services if she doesn’t listen.

I don't think you are clear enough. Saying I've not landed yet isn't the same as saying no.

If you don't want to help message and say

"I want to be clear so there is no confusion. I cannot babysit your dc anymore. It's too difficult with managing my own work and dc. I want to be upfront so you have time to make other arrangements. Please do not ask again. "

She is not your friend. Put the child in a taxi on a one way journey to her (or his!) place of work. Not your problem.

People treat you how you let them.

You didn’t actually say no? You need to say “no” or “I can’t” or something that makes your stance clear. If she disregards this then don’t answer the door if you are home or go out if possible so you won’t be there at all.

Here’s a soft message:

Hi CF
To give you some notice and avoid being asked at the last minute again, I’m unable to help you out with any childcare going forward Hope you manage to get sorted.

if she ignores your message and asks again you can become a bit firmer. Definitely do not cave!
I don’t think ignoring the door and hiding in your own home is going to work. You shouldn’t have to do that!

She doesn't value your friendship, if she did she wouldn't treat you so badly. Sent a text, short and sweet

CF, please don't ask me to provide you with childcare again, the answer will always be no!

She is no friend and only taking advantage of you. Ask clearly for the money back she owes you. Say no when she asks for childcare next and that you need the money back.
Then block.

SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!

Block!

Or you might just be one of those types that likes to complain that other people just can't cope without you!

Hi CF

I am quite surprised and disappointed that you dropped DS8 at mine today without my confirming. Please don’t drop him here again. I am not willing to do any further childcare for you. I’d also like to remind you that you owe me xxx for last summer’s club and you can send me that by revolut or cash at your earliest convenience.

You have to be very blunt with people like this. Any trying to soften the message will leave her an opening. Be firm.

Look, the OP is obviously in a bad place and you guys (although trying to be supportive) are actually badgering her. Telling her what she should have said the night before just makes her feel like shit. She knows she needs to be more assertive. She needs messages of support and ideas on how to frame responses - which some posters have provided. I think, given the range of suggestions, she has enough t9 frame a polite but strong message and follow on responses.

OP. I wish you well and I hope you catch up with your debt. I bet you’re stressed and anxious. Sorting this out with firm action will be one thing off your mind. Best of luck.

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