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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked for help in ASDA and she had a breakdown.

294 replies

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:54

Not sure what I'm asking about being unreasonable for, but am I unreasonable to be shocked?

So it was my fault. I had gotten round and started scanning things on the self checkout after having done my whole shop and realised I had take my card out of my pocket and left it on the side at home. I'm a single mum with a condition which affects my memory, so I have to check 100 times for things before I leave the house but this morning DD was taking her time getting ready for school and I was being picked up by a local minibus service as soon as I had dropped her off and was in a rush.

But I had some ASDA vouchers on my phone from free school meals for the holidays and £7 in cash as I had had a 10 euro note lying around and had cashed it in at the beaureu de change booth. (Remembered that but couldn't remember my card!). My phone doesn't let me do that google pay thing, as it isn't a good enough phone.

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.

So I went and grabbed one of those scan and go things as I have an account with them, so I could add up the most important parts of my shopping and put back anything over £37.

Anyway, after I had spent about half an hour doing this, I had 15 minutes left until the minibus was leaving and I went over to the bit to pay for scan and go. As I never use cash, I didn't know that you couldn't pay for cash at the scan and go bit, as it doesn't actually say that when you queue up, and I'd never tried to before, so it wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I scanned the vouchers I had on my phone and had £5.53 left to pay. It was only then that I noticed that there was nowhere on the machine to put cash into.

So I called for assistance to explain, thinking they could maybe transfer my payment over to customer services for me to pay the rest in cash, or help me re-scan everything in the self service bit.

When a different girl came over this time, I calmly explained the situation and she looked at the screen and got really stressy, saying she didn't know what to do, as I'd used gift vouchers for some of my shopping. So she asked for help on her headset and I think they told her to find a supervisor and she stomped off (I think they said this, because she walked over to the cash registers and the ladies on the minibus later mentioned in passing, that they had gotten the supervisors to man the cash registers as it was a bit busier than usual).

As she was stomping off, a lady with limited english was trying to get to the self service tills for trolleys and she was getting aggravated at them for walking through the scan and go to get to the self scan for trolleys, next to it. Kept shouting at them to leave the scan and go back around to get into the two person queue, but they didn't understand. She had a huge loud huff about it, threw her arms up and walked off.

But on her way to the cash registers, she let out a huge shout and said "I'm OUT", and kicked her headset angrily across the floor. I don't know if she threw it on the floor or if it fell off her head first, before she kicked it. I wasn't watching I only looked up and saw her because of her shouting and huffing.

Then she walked past me and in the opposite direction to the customer service desk, and never came back. A lady who had witnessed it all (customer) looked and me and said "I'm standing back", as this staff member had been so angry walking past her.

There was no one left in the scan and go area, and I couldn't press the button again for assistance, as she hadn't scanned her pass to reset it. I couldn't just cancel the transaction and go to self scan as I had already scanned my vouchers on my phone and would have lost them.

After about 5 minutes, another worker came into the scan and go and started helping other people. I asked her if the girl was coming back and she said 'no.' I said 'did she just quit?' and she said 'no, she just...' and kinda sighed with exasperation. I asked her for help and she looked at the screen and said 'yeah i know', and scanned her pass to reset the assistance screen and walked off. I had to wait for her to finish with new customers and then asked her for help again and she got really annoyed at me and said 'it's because you can't use cash here'. I calmly said, 'yes I know, but it was a mistake, I didn't realise.' She walked off again. I was about to just leave my £5.53 cash at the customer services desk and walk out, as I'd been standing there for ten minutes now waiting for help, and the minibus was due to leave, when the man next to me (who was also annoyed as he had just been made to re-scan his entire shop for picking up 2 different flavours of hams on an offer, instead of 2 the same) paid for me on his card and I gave him my cash. So the staff were refusing to help me otherwise.

I know I created the situation with my forgetfulness and not realising I couldn't pay cash until too late, but surely there's a better way to handle someone having made a mistake and asking for help to pay. They were all huffing and puffing about having to help customers, and normally they're just standing around chatting, so it seemed like they just didn't like having to engage with people for that busy day.

I was wondering if I should complain, but maybe the girl who shouted and kicked her headset across the shop after my request blew her mind, had been having a bad moment in her life.

OP posts:
Itsonlymashadow · 28/03/2024 12:56

What do you want the outcome of a complaint to be?

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:58

Itsonlymashadow · 28/03/2024 12:56

What do you want the outcome of a complaint to be?

Probably some staff training! I worked in a supermarket when I was younger and I would have been sacked if I'd behaved that way.

OP posts:
zaffa · 28/03/2024 13:05

Itsonlymashadow · 28/03/2024 12:56

What do you want the outcome of a complaint to be?

I think you'd be well within your rights to make a complaint. What was the intention - to just leave you and your shopping there forever?

It sounds like the store has a bit of a rubbish culture if people are so stressed they are getting aggressive by kicking things and shouting on the shop floor - head office need to understand what is wrong in that store surely.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 28/03/2024 13:05

I think asking for better signage might be a good idea.

Or even just pay people to scan the shopping like we used to.

The whole thing sounds like a massive palaver. Hope you had a nice cup of tea when you got home.

MorrisZapp · 28/03/2024 13:05

I guess both of you had a bad day. I'd move on and forget it.

DahliaMacNamara · 28/03/2024 13:06

It doesn't sound as if the staff member had received enough training. So I guess that's now come to light. Lots of people imagine retail is a piece of piss. You already know better. It sounds as if everyone in this situation was overwhelmed. You can't know if she was being a bit of a princess about the problem, or if she has genuine issues of her own.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 28/03/2024 13:09

I once worked in a restaurant with an absolute dick of a manager I was a student and similar jobs were ten a penny, one night he pushed me too far. He was rude sneery and dismissive. He also had a thing about young waitresses. I don't think it was coincidental that i'd fobbed off his advances at a party the week before. I walked out into the kitchen took my buzzer thing off threw it at him telling him to shove it up his arse and walked out, while the kitchen staff cheered. You don't know how far she'd been pushed, I am very hard working , positive, flexible but I had taken too much from that man and even at 18 I knew I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Five minutes later the top manager was calling be apologising begging me to come back, I refused and told him if he wants to keep staff he needs to sort sleazymanager out.
The point of that long anecdote is that you don't know what has happened, how far past her shift end she was, how many times she's been screwed over by the company. Is it ideal, no, but she's human

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:09

zaffa · 28/03/2024 13:05

I think you'd be well within your rights to make a complaint. What was the intention - to just leave you and your shopping there forever?

It sounds like the store has a bit of a rubbish culture if people are so stressed they are getting aggressive by kicking things and shouting on the shop floor - head office need to understand what is wrong in that store surely.

It's always toxic whenever I go in there. Staff on the tills and self service always fed up and huffing. The floor staff and trolley man are nice. It's not even a crazy busy store or a rough area with grumpy customers. If you go into the cafe you have to shout at the staff to get their attention as they're at the back of the kitchen on their phones and get annoyed at you for being there.

Today there were no trolleys also, had to run around the car park grabbing scattered ones for the elderly people in the group.

OP posts:
StrongTea · 28/03/2024 13:12

Our asda is the same, usually 1 manned checkout, staff chatting and huff when asked to help. Think you would be quite right to complain but doubt if you would get much response.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:13

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 28/03/2024 13:09

I once worked in a restaurant with an absolute dick of a manager I was a student and similar jobs were ten a penny, one night he pushed me too far. He was rude sneery and dismissive. He also had a thing about young waitresses. I don't think it was coincidental that i'd fobbed off his advances at a party the week before. I walked out into the kitchen took my buzzer thing off threw it at him telling him to shove it up his arse and walked out, while the kitchen staff cheered. You don't know how far she'd been pushed, I am very hard working , positive, flexible but I had taken too much from that man and even at 18 I knew I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Five minutes later the top manager was calling be apologising begging me to come back, I refused and told him if he wants to keep staff he needs to sort sleazymanager out.
The point of that long anecdote is that you don't know what has happened, how far past her shift end she was, how many times she's been screwed over by the company. Is it ideal, no, but she's human

Yeah I get that, but I wasn't doing anything to push her over the edge. I was calm, smiley and polite and took accountability for my mistake. The woman she shouted at wasn't doing anything like that either, just trying to get somewhere and she didn't like the way she was doing it.

I won't complain though, but if it's bad in there again, I will.

OP posts:
Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:13

StrongTea · 28/03/2024 13:12

Our asda is the same, usually 1 manned checkout, staff chatting and huff when asked to help. Think you would be quite right to complain but doubt if you would get much response.

It's probably the same ASDA!

OP posts:
SevenSeasOfRhye · 28/03/2024 13:14

I don't think your complaint should single out the woman who stormed off. It sounds as though she asked for help in the first instance, and was fobbed off, and was probably at the end of her tether - you don't know what else might have been going on for her, in or out of work. Any complaint should be more general about the way things are in the store - they are probably understaffed.

Twokittycats · 28/03/2024 13:15

There’s a serious lack of customer service. I see it a lot at the self checkouts, it’s like the staff can’t be bothered and they get pissed off just for having to do their job and help you.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:15

SevenSeasOfRhye · 28/03/2024 13:14

I don't think your complaint should single out the woman who stormed off. It sounds as though she asked for help in the first instance, and was fobbed off, and was probably at the end of her tether - you don't know what else might have been going on for her, in or out of work. Any complaint should be more general about the way things are in the store - they are probably understaffed.

This is a good point. She did ask for help, before having a meltdown.

OP posts:
Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:18

Twokittycats · 28/03/2024 13:15

There’s a serious lack of customer service. I see it a lot at the self checkouts, it’s like the staff can’t be bothered and they get pissed off just for having to do their job and help you.

I've noticed this everywhere since covid started. Hospitality too. Don't know if I notice it more because I had just come back from America where the customer is always right, or if it really has declined. I don't work in customer service or hospitality anymore, but training was mostly focused around making the customer feel looked after, wherever I worked. It was still minimum wage back and high rent costs back then, so can't blame the economy. It's more enjoyable when you do the job with the attitude of wanting to help as well, I always found.

OP posts:
ChangeIing · 28/03/2024 13:19

You seem to think that you’re entitled to have a bad day and be flustered and frustrated, but nobody else is.

If you don’t like that store, go elsewhere.

Mountain out of a molehill.

EmilyTjP · 28/03/2024 13:20

I would feedback to the store if you feel the staff are always unhappy as it might make them realise staff morale is low and they’re not providing good customer service as a result of this.
We have an absolutely awful post office, 45 minutes queues, etc. The staff tell people to write and complain as it might make the bosses recruit more staff.

You’ve recognised this girl could be having a bad day so I wouldn’t highlight her behaviour, more the team and experience as a whole.

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:20

Could you not just summarise the actual problem? This is all over the place and impossible to follow. Half of it is completely irrelevant to the actual issue. I actually gave up halfway through.

BananaSpanner · 28/03/2024 13:21

ChangeIing · 28/03/2024 13:19

You seem to think that you’re entitled to have a bad day and be flustered and frustrated, but nobody else is.

If you don’t like that store, go elsewhere.

Mountain out of a molehill.

What a load of rubbish. The staff were unprofessional. Kicking a headset across the floor is not justified by being flustered and frustrated. OP managed to keep her behaviour in check despite her stresses.

colouredball · 28/03/2024 13:21

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:20

Could you not just summarise the actual problem? This is all over the place and impossible to follow. Half of it is completely irrelevant to the actual issue. I actually gave up halfway through.

I agree, it's a really long story

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:22

ChangeIing · 28/03/2024 13:19

You seem to think that you’re entitled to have a bad day and be flustered and frustrated, but nobody else is.

If you don’t like that store, go elsewhere.

Mountain out of a molehill.

Never said I was having a bad day or flustered or frustrated! I've been in a perfectly good mood all day. Asking someone for help doesn't mean I have to be having a bad day or flustered.

Unfortunately, not all of us can afford to go elsewhere, or choose where they get taken to, when they get a lift. Ah if life was only as black and white as it is for you!

OP posts:
Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:24

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:20

Could you not just summarise the actual problem? This is all over the place and impossible to follow. Half of it is completely irrelevant to the actual issue. I actually gave up halfway through.

No I can't, soz :)

OP posts:
Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:24

colouredball · 28/03/2024 13:21

I agree, it's a really long story

yep, it is :)

OP posts:
ScroogeMcDuckling · 28/03/2024 13:25

I’m sorry, but what actually happened?

you’ve got euros, you’ve got pounds, you’ve not got a card, every shop assistant has been awful, I’m sorry to say, I’m struggling to retain the information that you have given

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:26

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:24

No I can't, soz :)

Says it all really.